Room to Breathe

I worked with a half dozen clients over the weekend who all had the same complaint; why can't they get other dog owners in their community to understand the concept of personal space?  You see they each had a dog who would react negatively when another dog passed by them in close proximity. Each of these dogs was different; for two, their reactivity came from a place of fear, one had previous negative experiences while on leash, one never saw another dog up close so had a lack of socialization, and one was experiencing outright aggression with unknown origin.  Nonetheless, each of the owners was experiencing a great deal of frustration any time they took their dog for a walk.  One client told me that she was literally afraid to walk her dog in her own neighborhood as more than one neighbor had told her she had no business taking her dog outside the house!  Another client said she was so embarrassed by her dog's behavior that she only walked him late at night when there weren't other people around.  I found all of their stories to be heartbreaking.

Even if a dog has been deemed dangerous as defined by the law, an owner still has the right in most states to take that dog outside of their home, as long as the dog is leashed and muzzled, so this notion that people whose dogs are reactive or aggressive shouldn't be out in public is a fallacy.  Obviously, if your dog is aggressive toward people or other dogs, you should be using a muzzle when you walk them, even if you walk at off peak hours in off peak areas.  Muzzle training is easy and a very effective way to prevent a bite.  Basket muzzles can be worn comfortably for extended periods of time, allowing the dogs wearing them to still sniff, explore, drink water, take treats, and exercise.  

Now, for dogs who are reactive and just need more space to feel comfortable in public spaces, we as their caretakers need to make that known.  I know that there are flags you can add to your leash, as well as embroidered leashes that state that your dog needs space, however these are often ignored by people, particularly children.  Better to adopt a strategy that helps your dog succeed by being proactive and moving out of the way when you need to, crossing the street, bringing your dog behind you or at your side, etc.  And as much as you might like to be one of those dog owners who can walk down a busy sidewalk with your dog, don't be tempted to do it; just because you have the right to walk your dog in public, doesn't mean you should put her, yourself, and other dog owners in a precarious position.  There are techniques that you can learn to help your reactive dog become more tolerant and even ignore other dogs, all you need to do is ask for help!

While dogs do need physical exercise, there is no hard and fast rule that says that has to come in the form of daily walks.  You can use a flirt pole to exercise your dog, set up an agility course in your yard, or even in your house using furniture, or play a rousing game of fetch.  Balance that physical exercise with mental exercise so that your dog truly feels "spent."  Mental exercise can mean a bone or bullystick, but better still to offer an interactive puzzle toy or some other task for your dog to do independent of you.  If you like dog training classes, your reactive dog still has options!  You will need to think about something like nosework for her instead of a traditional group class.  Nosework classes, by design, have each dog and handler working in the training space one at a time.  In between sessions, dogs are crated or outside of the training area, allowing those whose dogs are reactive to remain at a safe distance, below their threshold.

One of those clients this weekend said she felt like she was walking around in her neighborhood with a scarlet "A" on her chest for her aggressive dog. I told her to start thinking of it as an "A" for awesome as she is making great strides in getting a solid handle on her dog's aggression, taking time to watch him and understand his triggers so that she can better manage his behavior.  We're still muzzle training him as well, but he is doing quite well overall, as are the other handful of leash reactive dogs I'm working with right now.

Progress takes patience and consistency and a willingness to learn new techniques. I'm grateful to those clients who let me guide them on their journey.  As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Not all dogs love other dogs and that's okay.

How to Walk a Senior Dog

I had a wonderful appointment over the weekend with a client and her senior dog.  Her veterinarian had suggested she meet with me to specifically discuss how to help her senior dog get the most out of their daily exercise. When the owner told me this, I found it fascinating!  I'd never had a vet recommend me for that before.  When I met with the client, it became quite clear why her veterinarian had suggested the meeting.  This senior dog was having a really hard time on leash and the owner was quite frustrated.  Neither of them were enjoying their walks and quality of life was becoming an issue.

We started our appointment at the owner's home.  I wanted to observe her with her dog and get a better idea of their relationship.  After just a few minutes it was clear that her dog is starting to experience some of the early signs of canine cognitive dysfunction, basically senility in a dog.  Her dog was doing some pacing throughout the day and having accidents in her house which she attributed to the dog not getting out for walks enough. However, when she gets the leash out for walks, her dog often hides or avoids putting the leash on. For senior dogs, regardless of size, I prefer a harness over leashing them to a collar. Senior dogs often have joint pain, arthritis, disc disease, etc., so leashes pulling at their neck can be uncomfortable.  In addition, a lot of senior dogs have failing vision, so if they stumble or lose their footing, getting yanked at their neck can be disconcerting to say the least.  A body harness works great, or even an easy walk style harness will do.  Next, you want to make sure your leash is 6-8 feet in length.  You need enough leash to give your meandering, senior dog room to safely sniff and explore, even if they are lagging behind you on that walk.  While the quality of the walk (i.e. how much they are allowed to sniff and explore) is top priority for all dogs, really emphasizing that the purpose of the walk for a senior dog IS to sniff, explore, and stretch their legs, NOT walk a specific distance or meet a certain amount of time outdoors.  Senior dogs do not need to walk as far, nor be out for as long as they did when they were younger.  What they need is an opportunity to take in the smells at their own pace. If you let them sniff, they fill their brains with all of that information, and are quite satisfied when they get home, ready for a well-deserved nap.

I had brought a harness with me to our appointment and I gently put the harness on my client's dog, telling the dog how wonderful he was and giving him treats for letting me do so.  He wagged his tail and smiled with an almost toothless grin.  His owner indicated that he's never just stood there when she leashed him up and I reminded her that I wasn't attaching a collar to his neck, but rather gently putting a harness around his shoulders and upper body, while rubbing those areas as well; plus, I was giving him treats, something she'd not done in years!  Once we attached the 8 foot leash, we headed out the door...and stopped.  The owner was at the end of her driveway before she realized that we were still on the doorstep!  You see, her dog had stopped to look around, so I had stopped too.  His nose was in the air and he was sniffing away, eyes closed, face to the sun.  I did the same and remarked to him that the sun felt good.  The owner came back and asked what on earth we were doing and I told her we were enjoying our walk.  She laughed and said, "But you haven't gone 10 steps yet!"  This is when I reminded her that this was her dog's walk, not mine.  I was letting him set the pace.  We slowly made our way across the lawn with her dog sniffing all the way.  The owner indicated she usually headed straight for her driveway as her dog could "take forever just sniffing his own front lawn!" Time for a gentle reminder that this is the whole reason we were outside; this walk was for her dog's enjoyment, and not something to just check off of her to-do list.  I talked to her dog as he stopped to sniff some flowers, as he pawed at some leaves, and as he avidly sniffed the crack in the sidewalk.  I pointed out how lovely her neighbor's roses were, the dead snake her dog had found in the bushes, and asked her if she'd seen the grass poking up through that crack in the sidewalk.  She'd seen none of these things. She'd missed the hummingbirds, the cat hiding in the bushes, and the half eaten bag of chips we'd found as we walked.  It took us 15 minutes to walk a block and a half.  At this point, I could see her dog was really slowing down.  He was sniffing still, but not as much, and his gait was getting awkward; he even stumbled a couple of times in spite of our slow pace.  It was time to head home.  It took us almost 30 minutes to get back home.  We had to stop a lot.  I offered her dog a few treats and some love on those pit stops, but we made it home.  The owner was flustered.  How in the world could her dog get any exercise out of that walk?  She felt like she wanted to scream and just haul him home.

I took off the harness at his water dish and gave him a few pats.  Within minutes of getting home, he was passed out at our feet.  At this point, I reviewed the walk, breaking it down from her elderly dog's point of view.  All of the joy in that walk came from sniffing on a loose leash.  Quality over quantity.  For the humans on these walks, I can only suggest that you try to enjoy them as well.  Try sniffing the air, the flowers, etc.  Look around, take it all in.  Slow down and just watch what's going on around you.  Don't talk on your phone or mindlessly scroll through your social media feeds.  Stay present.  Talk to your dog.  Pet them.  Get excited about the things they get excited about.  Fake it until you feel the joy in these moments for real.  Bottom line?  That dog won't live forever and every day with your senior dog is a gift. Don't waste it.  

I love all of Alexandra Horowitz's books and recommend them frequently to clients looking to better understand their dogs.  I'll leave you with a quote from her book, Being a Dog: Following the Dog Into a World of Smell:  "Take a breath (through the nose, please)...By following the dog's lead, we can learn from him about what we are missing--some of which is beyond our ability to sense, and some of which we simply need a guide to see."

Let your dogs be your guides.  Excellent advice.  

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

My Desi is a senior dog too; he will be 12 next month.  

His walks have gotten markedly shorter in length and less frequent,

 but he still enjoys a good sniff in the company of his family.

We Really Don't Deserve Dogs

Last week, I blogged about behaviors by humans that dogs don't really love, but many put up with, in the name of keeping the peace and pleasing those humans (and increasing their social media followers!). Several people messaged me saying that we really don't deserve dogs and I think that's worth discussing further.

Dogs and humans have been co-evolving for over 30,000 years. I've referred to this as a symbiotic relationship, but it truly does go deeper than that.  They are such an important part of human society around the world.

"Coevolution entails biological influences among species, and reciprocal entanglements between culture and biology "(Durham, W.H. 1991 Coevolution. Stanford University Press). 

"Dog-human coevolution is based on intimate cooperation..." (Ellen, R. 1999 Categories of Animality and Canine Abuse. Anthropos 94:57-68).

Dogs are marvels of adaptation.  Biologists define adaptation as "the mechanism by which organisms adjust to new environments or to changes in their current environment." And just think of all of the environments that dogs have adapted to living and thriving in.  We see dogs living in high-rise apartments, navigating elevators to get outside to relieve themselves.  We see dogs guiding blind humans so that they can safely move from place to place. We see herding dogs responding to whistle notes and moving livestock accordingly. We see street dogs confidently approaching unfamiliar humans in the hopes of a handout for themselves or other pack members.  And, yes, we see dogs on sofas and in handbags, wearing expensive collars, nail polish, sunglasses, and booties.  As they say, "it's a living."

The fact that any dog can be dropped into one of these environments and thrive is stunning.  While it may not be ideal by the standards of some, I've seen a Malamute living in a studio apartment and a Chihuahua living in a 15,000 square foot home.  While it might seem that those two dogs would have been happier if they'd switched living environments, the truth is that both of those dogs were quite content and thriving right where they were.  They'd adapted to their circumstances and found their joy.

For me, the epitome of the human-animal bond are the stories of the dogs and their human handlers working in the aftermath of 9/11.  Dogs working tirelessly alongside their handlers searching for survivors, searching for bodies, providing comfort, and doing so at their own peril. The story of the two guide dogs, leading their humans and others to safety, as the towers were crumbling down, gets me every single time.  As do all of the stories of the 300 dogs who brought closure, relief, and comfort to the people around them.  Truly the best examples of adaptation, cooperation, and coevolution.

So, yes, I guess you can say we don't deserve dogs, but we should try to be worthy of their companionship and tireless assistance.  We must help them find joy and purpose in every day as their lives are short and we are all that they have.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Three generations of service dogs at CCI, Canine Companions for Independence.

But He Loves It!

I hear this a lot.  When someone is hugging their dog.  Kissing their dog.  Laying on their dog.  Repeatedly tapping their nose. Handing them odd foods to eat. Letting them chase their kids around the furniture. Hovering a hand just above their heads out of reach. Usually these things are done in the name of social media, meaning they are capturing these behaviors on their phones and sharing with their friends/followers. But this is a slippery slope and the truth of the matter is this: Your dog may put up with these things, they may let you do them, but no, they don't love them at all.

After more than 30,000 years together, dogs have learned just what it takes to keep the humans happy.  They make sure we get our daily exercise, keep watch over our homes, and make us feel safe and loved.  They seem to understand that their purpose is to help us, even if that means watching us use the bathroom.  It's a symbiotic relationship, meaning a relationship that benefits both parties. We house them, feed them, and (hopefully) provide them with appropriate and sufficient enrichment and stimulation, both mental and physical.  For most dogs, their favorite form of human affection involves receiving a treat, a toy, or a walk.  Hugs, kisses, nose boops, and eating frozen lettuce are not on their short list. 

I realize that there are dogs who submit to all of these things somewhat willingly, but do I think they enjoy them?  No, not really.  I think they've learned to allow their humans to do these things simply because they know it makes the humans happy and keeps the humans engaged.  And if the human is happy, they'll (eventually) give the dog those things that make them truly happy.  Back to the definition of symbiosis, right?

So, what's my point here?  First of all, please don't put yourself or your children at risk by forcing yourself on a dog who isn't willing to participate in these interactions.  Meaning, if the dog tries to move away, looks away, licks her lips, yawns, etc., then stop right there.  Don't force a dog who is clearly saying "No!" to have to escalate to a snap, growl, or bite to get you to stop.  And if your dog does allow these interactions without any indication of stress or anxiety, then reward them for their participation in an activity that is clearly for the benefit of the humans.  Go ahead, give them a treat, a bone, or that bully stick they love.  They earned it.

Our dogs bring us great joy and I love seeing my friends and clients sharing their photos of their dogs, well, just being dogs.  And, sure, I enjoy a picture of a dog wearing a cape or a hat, just as long as that dog doesn't hate wearing those things.  As, once again, it isn't like dogs evolved to wear clothing per se. With Halloween right around the corner, I felt like I needed to say that as well.  Costumes for dogs shouldn't be a thing unless, once again, the dog doesn't mind it.  If your dog tries to escape when you're putting it on, refuses to move, or is scratching and shaking to get it off, then it's time to find another way to celebrate Halloween with your dog.  I have a pumpkin cookie recipe that I'm happy to share.

Anyway, maybe I'm just a bit cranky this week because it's been so hot.  Or maybe I'm just afraid I'm going to hear one more horror story of someone getting bit while smothering their dog with kisses.  Either way, it felt like it needed saying.  

Stay cool friends.  Share your ice with your dogs.  And, as always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me. 

Ozzie is usually game for something like this quick, posed picture.  If he'd knocked the glasses off his head, that would have been it.  No pressure.  But, he was willing to amuse me, never offering any signs of stress or anxiety, but he definitely herded me to the treat cupboard after I snapped the photo.  Smart dog.  Symbiosis indeed. 

When You Are the Center of Your Dog's Universe

It's pretty common. Clients who say that they like being the center of their dog's universe; that their dogs are their whole world and vice versa. But is that always a good thing?  While having your dog literally watch your every move and hang on your every word may seem like a desirable thing, it can also have a dark side if your dog resource guards you from the people around you, including your friends and loved ones. Some may call it protective aggression, but it's the same thing; you are a resource for your dog and he doesn't want to share you with anyone.

While some dogs who guard people are doing it for a living (think dogs specifically trained to deter anyone who touches their person), most of the dogs I meet with this issue are freelancing. Some of them park themselves on their owner's lap and growl at an approaching spouse or child. Others, block their humans from approaches, positioning themselves so that no one can touch or get near them.  Some of these dogs can be called off, meaning if their person tells them it's okay or sends them to their place, for example, they do so, no escalation required. Others are not easily swayed and won't move when asked, instead choosing to stand their ground, willing to escalate if they feel challenged.  These dogs are risky to own because their owners need to be more vigilant and more restrictive about the situations they put their dogs into.  It's not funny nor cute; it's a behavior to be discouraged as it could result in a bite for which you will be held liable.  While you may think your spouse (or your kids) won't sue you if your dog bites them, bites still have to be reported to Animal Control if the person who has been bitten sees a doctor for their injury. This could result in fines or worse.  If your dog bites strangers, people approaching you on walks, making deliveries to your home, or working on your property, then you could be held liable, particularly if you knew your dog had resource guarding issues with regard to you.

So, what specifically can you do if you know your dog is guarding you?  First off, don't reinforce the behavior.  If they are sitting near you or on your lap and someone approaches you, get them off of your lap/away from you and approach the person yourself. If the dog tries to get between you and that person, barking at that person or worse, remove the dog for a time out so the behavior doesn't escalate.  If your dog behaves aggressively toward approaching people working on your property or guests in your home, then you need to confine them with something fun to do while visitors are there.  Don't hesitate to use crates, leashes, and even muzzles, if necessary, to ensure that your dog doesn't hurt anyone while they are protecting you.

Owning a protection dog is a huge responsibility.  The people I know with professionally trained protection dogs know this and care for them like you would a loaded firearm or an expensive automobile. They don't let just anyone handle their dogs, and they make sure the dogs are only protecting them when asked to do so.  When they are off duty, they are off duty.  Professional guard dogs learn to have on/off switches while our pet dogs who resource guard us don't have such clear boundaries and their behavior can be unpredictable.  

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

He's a pretty nice dog. Unless you try to hug or touch his owner. 

Then he's a snarling/snapping 12 lbs. of lunging fur and teeth.

When Expectations and Reality Do Not Match Up

I've been working with these clients for a couple of months now. They are a retired couple with a new puppy.  They've had puppies before, and they've had this breed before, but this dog is giving them a run for their money.  The pup's behavior is creating friction between the humans as well, and that's why they were sent my way.  While my master's degree is in Animal Behavior, my background is in Psychology, so understanding human behavior is part of (and sometimes a giant chunk of!) what I do. This couple even joked about them needing the training and not the dog.  They weren't far off the mark with that comment.

Although puppyhood is characterized by a lot of commonalities, each puppy is an individual and as such "results may vary" if you simply approach the puppy in front of you the same way you've approached every other dog you've owned. Plus, we've learned quite a bit about the way puppies learn and how best to teach them everything from where to toilet, to how to walk nicely on a leash. Times change, methodologies change, and frankly puppies have changed too.  Just because you've chose the same breed time and again doesn't mean that the breeder you got your current puppy from will learn the same way your previous dogs did.  Rule #1:  Don't compare your kids or your dogs.

I gave these clients a crash course in animal learning theory and backed up my suggestions with the science behind why they should implement these ideas for their puppy.  First off, he's big.  Big for his age and big for his breed.  We need to teach him to be calm and well-mannered now, while we have a chance and before he even thinks about bullying his senior owners!  Yanking his collar/leash, smacking him on the nose, and grabbing his mouth when he bites aren't going to make him better behaved, but they very well may make him more of a problem.  Rule #2:  Be patient. Be consistent.  Give yourself, and your puppy, a time out.

One of the puppy's owners took me aside to tell me, rather sheepishly, that she doesn't really like this puppy and she doesn't even think he's cute.  I told her that it was possible to love her puppy, but not love his behavior.  And as far as cute goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Just as some people think newborn babies are ugly little squishy faced gnomes, I think they are adorable!  I think that if we can get this puppy onto a regular schedule of naps, bathroom breaks, play time, leash learning, and training, he'll blossom into a nice, predictable, and yes attractive, family member.  Rule #3:  Dogs, like kids, thrive on predictable schedules and routines.

There was a bit of bickering back and forth between the clients as they observed me working with their puppy.  He is a delightful, enthusiastic learner who actually gets things quickly.  He went from pulling and tugging on his leash, to walking nicely next to me on a loose leash, sitting every time I stopped moving.  One reason for this?  I never pulled his leash once.  I never yelled at him.  I didn't drag him.  I didn't push his bottom down.  What did I do?  I walked *with* him and if he started to pull, I'd loosen up the leash and change direction. He happily followed me. I rewarded that behavior.  When I stopped walking, I'd smile at him and tell him he was a good boy.  He'd sit.  I'd give him a treat for that.  Next thing you knew, he wasn't pulling, but just eagerly sniffing wherever we walked, looking back and up at me to check in occasionally, and sitting whenever and wherever I stopped.  He definitely understood the assignment.  Now we wait and see if the owners did too as their attention was often focused on throwing accusations at each other by this point.  Rule #4:  Dogs, like kids, will misbehave if they think no one is holding them accountable.  While the owners weren't paying attention to their puppy, I was.  He figured that out quickly and enjoyed working with me as it was much less stressful for him and a good deal more rewarding.

Anyone who has ever crammed for an exam will tell you that while they may be able to get enough useful information stuck in their head to pass the test, most of that information won't be there long term.  Shorter, immersive study sessions that capitalize on the way you learn best (auditory learning versus visual learning, or a combination of the two) will result in information sticking with you long after the exam.  The same is true for training dogs.  Frequent, short sessions where you don't just repeat the same thing over and over again are the sessions where they learn the most.  Practice things your dog already knows and then add in new challenges.  Make learning fun by changing locations where you work, adding in fun tasks like an impromptu agility session on a playground, or simply walking under and then jumping over a park bench. Always use a leash when you train indoors and outside as most places require a leash, so those puppies might as well learn to wear one comfortably for long periods of time right from the start.  Vary the length of your leash to give your dog more freedom and to make listening/attending to you more challenging for you both.  Always have treats in your pocket which brings us to Rule #5:  Everyone likes to get paid.  Dogs preferred forms of payment that are tangible rewards like food and toys.  Dogs do enjoy praise and affection, don't get me wrong.  But.  Food will enhance learning, speed up the process, and ensure that what you worked on sticks in their brain.

I'm really enjoying my work with this puppy.  I'm hoping I'll enjoy working with the owners more as they learn to embrace the puppy that they have and learn to accept that things have changed in the last 15 years since their previous dog was a puppy.  I am grateful that they haven't given up on him and that they trust me to guide them, even if they don't always agree with me right off the bat.  We're making progress and that's what counts.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me. 

All puppies need boundaries and structure.  Big breed puppies need those lessons early before their body growth outpaces their brain growth!

Babies, Grandbabies, and Dogs, oh my!

I love babies.  No one who knows me is surprised by this.  For me, they are like puppies (which I also love) who just happen to grow up and be able to drive you around and have a glass of wine with you on the back porch.  But I digress.  While I love babies and am much looking forward to grandbabies some day, I am currently working with a handful of clients whose dogs are not nearly as excited about the arrival of babies and grandbabies as their owners had hoped they would be. 

We know from research done in 2011, that the dogs who do best around children and for whom the presence of kids results in less anxiety, are those dogs who were exposed to positive experiences with children during their sensitive period for socialization at 3-12 weeks of age.  Dogs exposed to children after 12 weeks of age, or never really exposed to kids until after children are brought into their homes, are the dogs who show the most reactivity, excitability, and even aggression. These results really hammer home the importance of exposing puppies to nice, friendly, people of all age groups during their sensitive period for socialization.  This is particularly important for any dog who will ultimately be living in a home with kids, or in a home where kids visit often.

So, what can you do if you don't know if your dog got exposure to kids during the critical socialization period and you are getting ready to bring home a new baby?  First off, try doing a few experiments yourself.  Take your dog, on leash, to a park where children of all ages congregate.  Walk your dog around at a distance and observe their behavior as you get closer to the kids.  Are they happy and interested?  Are they licking their lips, yawning and trying to pull you the other way?  If a child approaches your dog, what does she do?  Does she freeze and look away or try to move away?  Does she get overly excited, yipping and barking?  Or does she wag her tail loosely with a soft gaze, soliciting a pat from the child?  

If your dog appears interested in children, not anxious, fearful, or aggressive, you can begin exposing your dog to even more provocative situations such as crying babies, kids throwing tantrums, etc.  For many dogs this type of young human agitation is stressful.  You want to see if your dog moves away from such things, seeks you out for reinforcement, or becomes agitated themselves. 

While you can definitely prepare your dog for the arrival of a baby by doing all of these things while out and about, what can you do in your own home?  Start by introducing your dog to all the items you've purchased for your baby.  Let them sniff, touch, etc. the stroller, swing, crib, high chair, diapers, and toys.  Lay a blanket on the floor and begin teaching your dog the boundaries.  They can approach the edges of the blanket, but not get on it or cross it.  Start walking your dog alongside the empty stroller. If you plan to use baby gates to separate areas of your house into dog free/baby only zones, do that before the baby arrives.  While many news parents and grandparents worry most about their anxious dogs when the baby is under 2 years of age, the truth of the matter is that kids are at their greatest risk after 2 years of age as they become more mobile.  And many dogs show peak anxiety when their kids reach adolescence and there is conflict in the home. Parents often make the mistake of relaxing their vigilance as their kids get older; truly, all interactions between kids and dogs, regardless of their age, need to be supervised.  Kids often miss subtle (and not so subtle) cues given by dogs indicating that they are uncomfortable with a situation. Ignoring those cues can result in a snap or bite. Parents and caregivers need to be observant and remove the children or the dog when arousal gets too high.  Every home should have safe spaces for the kids and the dogs.  For kids, those safe spaces are often their rooms and/or pieces of furniture the dog isn't allowed into or on.  For dogs, safe spaces might be under a table, in their crate, or on their dog bed.  Teach your children to leave a dog who is sitting or laying still alone and teach your dog to leave your kids alone when they are in their rooms, for example.  Dogs will often seek out their adult humans as safe spaces as well. Let them.  Reinforce that behavior, don't scold or shun it.  Use time outs and redirection for your dogs AND your kids.

Parents and grandparents need to learn how to be better observers of dog body language.  Watch the family dog for signs of stress such as lip licking, excessive yawning, gaze averting, hard stares, stiff bodies, moving away/turning away.  If you see these behaviors, call the child or the dog away and redirect them.  Being proactive is key; if you can't watch your kids and the dog, then they need to be separated until you can. Teach your children to be gentle and respectful with the family dog, allow them to take age-appropriate responsibilities with respect to the dog, meanwhile teaching your dog not to jump on children, grab their food or clothing, or steal their toys.  Children who take an active role in the care of the family dog have a better relationship with that dog and are better at reading dog body language than those children who aren't as involved in a dog's care.  Train your kids to care for the dog, and praise them for a job well done.  That positive reinforcement doesn't just work on dogs, it works on kids too.

Finally, one of the most disturbing trends I see in the world of kids and dogs is the proliferation of videos on social media showing kids sitting on, riding, pulling tails and ears, grabbing faces, shoving their faces in dog faces, laying on dog beds next to dogs or in their crates with them, and screaming and running while a dog chases them.  When I see these videos, I have to scroll away as the body language on the dogs terrifies me.  The fact that caregivers are not just allowing these behaviors, but reinforcing them AND videotaping them, causes me undue stress and agitation.  Why anyone would allow their dog to be treated that way, let alone put their child at risk with an animal is beyond me. I will never share those videos and I would love if I never saw one again!  

There are so many benefits to be had by dogs living in homes with kids, as long as that situation is safe for the dogs and kids involved.  If your dog is nervous and reactive with your new baby, separate them and try to see if a slower, more controlled introduction will help.  If your dog simply cannot be around your baby, you can try to keep them separate until your child is older and try again, or you can choose to rehome your dog.  If your dog is aggressive to your baby or child, however, you really do need to get them out of your home immediately.  I've been involved in enough dog bite cases to know that you can't ignore what a dog is clearly telling you; if they don't like kids, you can't make them like yours.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

When Desi came to live with my family, he was 4 years old. I knew he'd been raised around children and loved them, which I thought would make him a good fit for pet assisted therapy. He truly was and is a natural.  He gravitates toward children, is gentle about where he puts himself with regard to their physical space, and he loves all manner of attention.  In that first picture, I actually watched him walk up to that baby, plop down behind him, and then wrap his head back around for attention!  The second photo is from a visit with day camp kids learning about dogs and dog behavior.  This little girl had read Desi a book and then wanted to stay after her reading to give him more attention.  I love that his head is on her leg, while he keeps one paw firmly planted on mine.  Desi is the consummate family dog.