What Have You Done For Me Lately?

Naturally, when I typed out that blog title, I started to hum along with the song of the same name by Janet Jackson, but clearly that's not the direction this blog is going!  What I want to talk about today are dogs and what they do for us, in spite of their own misgivings, fears, preconceived notions, and idiosyncrasies.  Interesting topic, right?

There is a viral video making the rounds of a dog getting between a moving vacuum cleaner and a baby playing on the floor nearby.  You might not think anything of this, but if you read the caption, it becomes way more interesting. You see, this particular dog hates the vacuum cleaner (most dogs do) and for this dog's whole life, he's raced off and hidden in another room, or outside, the second the owner turned on the dreaded machine. Since having her baby, however, this dog has positioned himself between the vacuum cleaner and that baby.  He's obviously summoned all of his courage as you can see in the video. He's quite literally quivering, ears back, tail tucked, whale-eyed, barking at the vacuum cleaner, wanting to escape, but continually shifting his body so he's between the vacuum and that baby.  He looks back at the baby, clearly making sure the child is okay, and then quickly returns his attention to the vacuum. The owner, thinking this is funny for some reason, tries to maneuver around the dog, and the dog leaps in the air and pounces briefly on the vacuum and she pulls the vacuum back. End of video with the owner laughing.  Wow.  Just WOW.  Can we stop for a minute and appreciate just what this dog did?  He clearly has a history of fear and avoidance with the vacuum cleaner, but when it came to the baby's safety he cowboyed up, so to speak, in spite of his fear, and protected the child. He went after the vacuum cleaner, not the person pushing it. This kind of stuff doesn't make me laugh, but it does make me send up a thank you to dogs everywhere for putting themselves out there to protect people, even when we're setting them up like this.  One more example.

Have you seen the video of the little girl, playing on her driveway with a ball, three big dogs laying around the driveway, clearly staggered in position watching the street while she plays?  As her ball starts to roll away, the dog at the end of the driveway gets up and turns toward her, stopping the ball with his nose.  The dog that was closest to the child also stands up, but walks casually behind her.  That third dog remains in position watching the street.  She gets her ball and goes back to playing and the dogs resume their positions.  At that point a man enters the picture, walking on the sidewalk. As he gets to the driveway and turns toward the girl, all three dogs stand up.  As the ball rolls toward him, the little girl goes for the ball, but now there's a big dog, walking right alongside of her.  Which dog?  That dog who'd been in the middle position that whole time.  There's music over the video, so I can't hear it, but I'm pretty sure the dog nearest the ball is growling at the man who is reaching for the ball. At this point, the child's father walks down the driveway, says something, and the dog near the ball stops and stands still.  All three dogs look to the man as he approaches the stranger.  They shake hands and the little girl collects her ball and all three dogs go back to their original positions. My personal feeling is that these dogs would guard anything on that property, but clearly they've been taught to keep watch over the little girl when she's out there. They aren't overtly friendly with her, but they clearly understand the assignment and she's not afraid of them. While I appreciate the fact that these dogs take their jobs very seriously, I feel like this video makes it seem like this is a good idea, when it's not. This girl cannot control these dogs, but she sure as heck could get hurt if she somehow got between them and a stranger.  Me? I'd rather have a barking dog on the driveway!  They'll alert everyone to a problem!

Those of you who know me, or who have read my memoir, know that our first rough collie was a lovely dog named Cooper. Cooper was the quintessential collie; he loved his family, he protected our home (he barked to alert), and he was a gentle playmate with my young kids and others.  Cooper did not like raised voices and he most certainly did not like it if I was stern with my children.  If I scolded one of them and he was in earshot, he's come over and stand between me and the kid in question.  He wasn't being aggressive with me, no, he was letting me know that he was there to moderate this interaction.  The kids would often put a hand on him to comfort themselves during the scolding which is why I think he was there; emotional support.  However, one time I observed the husband of a friend raise his voice at the kids (his two were playing with my two) when they were playing outside.  Cooper did this same thing, but I noticed something different.  Cooper was between the kids and the man, but now he was staring at the man.  He never growled, he never moved, but it was clear to everyone that the man should stop right there and quit yelling.  I walked over, gave Cooper a love and told him to go play with the kids, which he did.  At that point I checked to see what my friend's husband thought.  He said he thought the dog was going to take his arm off!  Ha!  Cooper had made his point; there was no reason to be yelling at the kids who were just having a good time.  And, more importantly, I think Cooper felt that the man had no business correcting the kids at HIS house.  That was my job, lol. When the kids were older, I would send Cooper down the hill to the school with them to shoot hoops.  They hated taking him because he wouldn't let anyone else get in on their game, body blocking, and barking if need be, almost as if to say, my kids, my basketball court. So embarrassing, mom!  But I knew they were safer with him there.  Again, he wasn't aggressive, but he was a big, protective collie. Not a threat, but taking his job seriously. He was a herding dog after all. My kids were his sheep!

Dogs do a lot for us, some things we ask them to do, other things they do naturally and we are able to capitalize on that.  Many perceive loud noises and strangers as potential threats and respond accordingly, whether those loud noises or strangers are upsetting to them or not. The bottom line is this: Don't test them or tease them.  They will step up if the situation calls for it, no need to turn it into a funny video for likes on social media. Do right by your dogs, raise them to understand what a real threat is, sure, but mostly just raise them to understand love, trust, care, and bite inhibition.  Their inherent desire to do right by us will do the rest.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here's a cute picture of Cooper at about 11 weeks old.  That's Jessica watching Cooper while he watches my 4 year old son who is running around in a Batman costume nearby!

The Power of Observational Learning

I had a really nice conversation with a long time client about her new puppy.  She has three dogs, one is ten, one is almost 5 and the puppy is 3 months old.  She reached out for help and advice as she's having a terrible time getting the puppy to listen to her; all he wants to do is follow her two adult dogs around, ignoring her! This really isn't all that unusual, although I could see why she was irritated! Have you ever experienced this as well?  There's a very good reason for this and it's all about observational learning in dogs.

Dogs have the ability to learn in several different ways.  They learn by watching us, the words we use, the way we move our hands, and how that relates to their ability to get us to do what they want us to do.  So, for example, you might be teaching a puppy to sit when asked.  You move your hand in such a way that his head comes up and his bottom goes down as he follows that hand with the treat in it.  While you are doing this, you are telling your puppy to sit at the same time.  When his little bottom hits the ground, you mark the behavior in some way ("Yes!," "Good boy!," etc.) and give him the treat.  The next time he approaches you, he'll be watching you to see if you move your hand that way again, saying that word, and if he does it, he'll be looking for that treat!  Basically, the puppy learns to sit by observing you while you shaped that behavior.  Now, you could certainly try to just mark the sitting behavior any time you see your puppy do that, but that's a much harder way to get the behavior consistently.  And, watching you sit isn't effective in getting your puppy to sit as well. But, you know what is?  Your puppy watching your other dogs sit when you ask.  And that, my friends, is the power of observational learning.

If you call your adult dogs to you and ask them to sit, I'm sure they'll do it immediately. In the case of my client's dogs, they are excellent listeners; they come when called, and almost always sit before asked.  The puppy follows behind the adult dogs, watching them closely as they happily wag their tails and sit instantly.  He dances around them, oftentimes earning him a grumble or a snap from one of the adult dogs, almost as if they were saying "Sit down, goofball, and she'll give you a treat too!" Then, he plops into a sit, still watching those adult dogs, and lo and behold, they all get treats.  The next time she calls the dogs over, even the puppy sits before being asked.  The power of observational learning!  It's actually much stronger than you teaching your puppy anything.  It's almost as if puppies trust the process more if they see the behaviors in action first from adult dogs they share space with.

So why is this even a problem given that it seems like her adult dogs are doing all the heavy lifting in training this puppy, so to speak?  It's a problem because he doesn't listen to her at all!  My suggestion was simple.  Crate her adult dogs with bones or Kongs in the other room and shut the door, keeping the puppy with her.  Put the puppy on leash and reward a simple follow, dropping treats for him to pick up.  Add in his name so he looks at her, then drop another treat.  Step away from him, say his name, and offer a treat as he approaches.  Then, see if she can get a sit when he's asked, without those adult dogs around to cue off of. She kept me on the phone with her as she did this and, lo and behold, her puppy sat as soon as he approached her!  He had indeed learned the sit, AND he was able to do it without the adult dogs there to use as his guides.

I told my client that she needs to work with her puppy one-on-one several times a day so she's sure he's understanding the importance of listening to her and bonding with her.  But, frankly, her adult dogs can help her with so much of the training this puppy needs once she's got him a bit more bonded to her than he is to them.

I also told her how lucky she was as there is one big pitfall to observational learning in dogs.  What if the adult dog(s) in your home aren't all that perfect?  What if they themselves have some significant behavior problems?  What if your adult dog is aggressive, fearful, or has separation anxiety? You most certainly don't want the adult dogs teaching those behaviors to your new puppy!  So, again, the solution?  Get those issues treated in your adult dogs before you add in a puppy.  Then, be sure to work with your puppy one-on-one, away from your adult dogs, to make sure that puppy listens more to you than to his cohorts.

I've always been fortunate to have really good adult dogs when I brought a puppy into my home.  Desi raised Ozzie and Westley, and Ozzie and Westley raised Henley.  Desi was still around when Henley was a puppy, he was just quite the senior by that point and spent a lot of team sleeping rather than interacting with him.  Henley did love Desi and would lick his face or gently pull his tail, always careful not to run into Desi or step on him when he was racing around like a crazy puppy.  He saved the shenanigans for Ozzie and Westley and then tolerated a lot from Henley as they taught him the ropes.  He still looks to them even now that they are all adults together.  Why?  Because observational learning is still strong, even in adult dogs.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

I love these two pictures, taken a couple of weeks 

apart. In the first photo, Henley is mirroring Desi's 

behavior. In the second photo, he's mirroring

Westley, while Desi hangs back, something he did

more and more as Henley got bigger and more active.

It's A Whole New World!

Did you just start singing that song from Aladdin?  LOL!  It was actually what went through my head when a client's husband expressed a bit of frustration with all the suggestions I was making regarding their new dog. Their veterinarian had sent them my way because it had been about fifteen years since this couple had had a dog and she thought they could benefit from a session with me in order to get this new dog off on the right paw, so to speak.

A lot has changed since this couple had their previous dog.  First of all, that dog was raised in a home with three, active kids!  Their kids are now grown and flown, so that's a big difference; this dog won't live in a home with kids day in and day out, but he will be exposed to babies and young children as their oldest has kids of his own. What else has changed?  This couple is now living in a condominium with a small backyard and an enclosed front porch; their previous dog lived with them in a large house with an enormous backyard. Add in that they used to free-feed their previous dog, rarely walked him, and he slept in their garage at night, and you have all the reasons why their veterinarian thought talking with me might be helpful!

As you all already know, I love science and I love good research.  In particular, I love all the research being done on pets and our relationship with our companion animals.  And, obviously, I like sharing this science-based approach with all of you and with my clients every day.  As I explained patiently to my client's husband, it's not about all the things we were doing wrong before, but about how what we know now enriches their lives and makes them happier! 

So, while I understand that their previous dog was rarely walked because he had a large yard to run around in every day, we now know that dogs don't reliably use their yards for exercise; most dogs patrol their yard, chase off intruders (squirrels!), and lay around, waiting for their humans to come outside too. And while a lot of people used to free-feed their dogs, we now know it's better for their digestion and for weight maintenance to eat two to three times a day. As for sleeping in the garage:  Research shows that dogs should sleep indoors with their people, whether that be in a crate, on a dog bed, or sharing the human's bed.  Keeping dogs, particularly single dogs, separated from the rest of the family is isolating and detrimental to the human-animal bond.

OK, let's circle back to the new clients.  I encouraged them to walk their new dog twice daily, allowing sniffing and exploring, as a way to build rapport.  I suggested keeping to a fairly set schedule for those walks, as well as meal times (twice daily), and play time.  Because this dog is just under a year of age, I also suggested scheduling some naps, in the crate which he loves, to make sure he's well-rested and less of a risk for mouthy behavior and the evening zoomies, two behaviors that were getting him sent to the garage. I gave them handling exercises to do to help build trust, and finally I gave them an entire list of interactive toys and puzzles to challenge this young dog's brain and address his need for mental exercise.  Toy rotation is also a must and having the right kinds of toys for an active chewer is also needed.  Hence my client's husband stating that dog ownership seems a lot harder than he remembers!  And you know what?  He's not wrong.

We now know more about how to raise and train well-adjusted dogs than we did even ten years ago.  And much of what we were taught in the 1960's an 1970's has been put to rest as outdated and often inappropriate and cruel with respect to dogs. Personally, I think that the fact that dogs have continued to love us and thrive despite our ample mistakes is just proof positive that they are the most forgiving of creatures.  While they can survive with very little, they do appreciate being given more and reward us with their faithful companionship until their last breath.  Do we deserve dogs?  Sometimes I do wonder.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Westley loves a good puzzle.  This is one that my two dogs don't actually enjoy as the pieces are small and their noses and paws are larger than Westley's! Puzzles like this one from Trixie Dog, are something that have become more popular for mental stimulation and enrichment, based on the results of solid research into what companion animals need to be happy.

Is My Dog Mad At Me?

I've been asked this question so many times, usually by an owner who has been growled at, snapped at, or even bitten by their dog. Most recently, I was asked this question by a dog owner who felt her dog was snubbing her after she picked him up from a week of boarding. Have you ever thought that your dog was mad at you for some reason?

First of all, let's clear the air.  Your dog isn't mad at you, at least not the way other humans might be mad at you for something you said or did.  Dogs don't hold grudges like people do; what they do is express their fear, anxiety, discomfort, or frustration through changes in their behavior.  Dogs use body language cues to let us know that they are upset with a situation, not that they are mad at us, per se. If a dog makes a negative association between a human and a stress-provoking event, they will alter their behavior in a way that decreases their proximity to that human while they wait for their anxiety to subside.  Let me give you an example.

Let's say that you are clipping your dog's toenails and accidentally cut one too short, causing the nail to bleed, your dog to yelp, and yank his foot away.  When you try to grab the foot to stop the bleeding, he whirls around quickly, bumping your hand away with his nose.  When you finally get a hold of the foot to stop the bleeding, your dog won't make eye contact with you, licking his lips, yawning, and quivering, even giving you a slight lip curl when you squeeze the paw to create pressure to stop the bleeding.  Your attempts to soothe your dog with words and strokes on the head go unheeded and the moment you release his foot, he moves away quickly, tail tucked, giving you some epic side-eye as he retreats to his bed to lick his foot.  Is he mad at you?  No.  He's experiencing physical discomfort and he associates that discomfort with you.  He ultimately moves away from you because he's made a negative association: Being near you and having his feet handled equals pain.

When something like this happens, I know your first response is to try to placate and soothe your dog, however, this is the wrong course of action to take. Instead, give your dog some space and time to soothe themselves.  Again, dogs don't hold grudges.  You can make amends with your dog once he's settled down and regrouped.  If you push it, you run the risk of an escalation with your dog lashing out or doing something completely out of character for them. Your dog will forgive you, it's just going to take some time for them to change that negative association that they've made. Depending on how negative that association is, you may need to use desensitization and counter-conditioning, with brief, innocuous exposures to what created that stress and anxiety in the first place.  And, most likely, copious amounts of high value treats!

Using our same nail trimming mishap example, you might give your dog treats while the nail clippers are nearby, then build up to handling the feet with those clippers nearby.  Over time, you increase the foot handling and bring the clippers closer.  You build up to making noise with the clippers, but not on his nails.  If your dog remains calm and open to taking treats, you ultimately build up to clipping one or two nails, giving him a handful of treats, and stopping there on a positive note. This process is slow going but necessary to change your dog's point of view and negative association between you and those nail clippers.

Now, let's circle back to my client who felt like her dog was snubbing her after a stay at a boarding facility. She described the behaviors she was seeing:  Gaze aversion, tail held low, moving away from her.  He didn't want to play, be near her on the couch, or even go for a walk. If she tried to pet him, he stiffened and turned away.  While he never growled or snapped, she felt like it could happen if she were to try to pick him up, something she was smart enough not to do. I've known this dog for quite a while and all of this behavior is very much out of character.  I advised the owner to first have her dog looked at by her veterinarian.  We needed to rule out pain as the reason for the change in his behavior. Perhaps he'd pulled a muscle or slipped a disc while running around at the boarding facility.  Sure, a trip to the vet could also lead to her dog snubbing her even more, but it was necessary to make sure there wasn't something physical going on here. Once her vet had ruled out pain, I came up with a plan to get my client back into her dog's good graces, so to speak.  Here's what I told her to do.

First, do a little bit of hand feeding of special treats (in her dog's case, this was rotisserie chicken) before feeding each meal.  Hand feeding brings a dog closer to the person, often with brief eye contact.  I told her to build up to brief petting with these treats after a few days.  She also sat nearby while he ate, but not making eye contact or trying to talk to him.  She was just to be close by, a comforting presence. After about three days, her dog was approaching her, head up and tail wagging for those extra treats.  At this point I advised her to try to play a little ball with him and take him for a brief walk at his favorite park for sniffs and snacks.  By day six, he was back to his usual self, going for walks, playing ball, and cuddling on the couch.  Whew!

So, if your dog is giving you the cold shoulder, avoiding contact, and ignoring you with very obvious selective hearing, sure, he's upset.  He might even engage in destructive behavior which you don't normally see.  Before you get frustrated and try to force an interaction, figure out why this is happening.  Did you leave your dog alone too long?  Did you miss a normal treat or meal time?  Did you behave in a clingy way with them that they don't typically enjoy? Or did you not love on them long enough? Did you bathe them?  Cut nails? Or take them to the vet's office?  Any one of these things could be the reason your dog is showing discomfort and aloof behavior around you.  Once you've figured out why, get creative in your strategies to build back their confidence in you, using all of the things they enjoy, to win them back.  They're not ignoring you to manipulate you.  They are ignoring you and avoiding you because you've somehow broken their trust.  You can definitely win it back if you are patient and observant of those body language cues.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Is he mad at me?  No, Henley isn't mad at me.  He's resigned to the fact that it's bath day.  When I tell him it's time for a bath, he doesn't retreat. He heads to the bathroom, all on his own, and jumps in the tub of his own volition.  I praise him every time he does this, and give him ample yummy treats for doing so.  He gets treats throughout the bath, and especially when I'm blow drying him.  Does he love baths and blow outs?  Absolutely not.  But he does tolerate them, participate in them of his own accord, and he is duly rewarded for his efforts.  He's never snubbed me in any way following a bath.  How did we get to this point? You guessed it.  Desensitization and counter conditioning starting when he was a puppy.  Thank goodness I did because Henley has serious allergies that require weekly, and sometimes biweekly baths. I can't imagine what this would be like if he didn't cooperate in his own skincare routine.

Today's the Day!

What began as a project to keep me occupied during the COVID-19 lock-down of 2020, turned into a labor of love that took almost five years to complete, but it's done!  My memoir is not only done, but it's being published by Barnes & Noble.  Today, March 12, 2025, is the official publish date and I couldn't be more excited, nervous, or hopeful than I am right now. 

To all of you who pre-ordered your copy, thank you for being as excited as me for the book's release!  For all of you who will order copies now for yourself, for a friend or family member, or for one of your pet-loving clients, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  While I originally thought of this book as just something to print out and share with my kids, it has now become something bigger: A chance for me to tell my story, share my journey, and hopefully make you laugh a little, maybe surprise you, and perhaps even shed a tear or two.  

I'm hoping to have a book signing (or two) in the near future here in the San Francisco Bay Area.  If you are interested in that, please let me know, and I'll add you to the list of folks to keep in the loop. I'm tickled pink that a handful of you have reached out for information on how to get a signed bookplate for your book!  I have the bookplates and will be writing personal messages on them and mailing them out soon. If you are someone who wants a signed bookplate, please let me know via email, k9freud@gmail.com, so I can collect your mailing information for the bookplate.

Anyway, to all of you who've been with me on this journey (and you definitely know who you are!), thank you thank you thank you for helping me to fulfill my dream of being someone who helps animals and their people.  I couldn't have done it without you. 

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me. Actually, I'll be here working on my next book!  It's a children's picture book featuring (what else would it feature?!) a collie!

If you'd like to order a copy, here's the link:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/k9freud-julie-bond/1147053202?ean=9798341883611

When Your Home Has Gone To The Dogs!

I know we've talked about multi-dog households before.  A multi-dog household is any home with more than one dog, so yes, even two dogs counts as a multi-dog home!  I say this because I had a client tell me she "only has two dogs" so she didn't think the rules and boundaries I was advising her to follow were applicable to her and her two canine family members, lol.  Comparatively speaking, one dog is easy, two is more than twice the work, and three or more can be a full-time job! Just last week, I spoke to a client who had six dogs, three of whom fought on a regular basis, and just couldn't seem to understand why I thought her home needed more structure! 

So, whether you have two dogs or twelve, rules and boundaries aren't just a suggestion but the keys to long-term success.  Just to clarify: I'm not talking about a dominance hierarchy here with one of your dogs as the "alpha."  Gosh, can I tell you how much I *hate* that terminology.  While the terms pack, pack mentality, pack hierarchy, alpha, beta, etc. have been bandied around for years, and consequently applied to dogs, this has done nothing but a disservice to dogs and their people. 

The term "alpha wolf" was coined in 1947 by Rudolf Schenkel, an animal behaviorist studying captive wolves in a zoo in Switzerland. The problem with this research lies in the fact that all of his results and nomenclature were based on a captive population.  This isn't the real world for wolves!  Wolves live in large family groups called packs, absolutely.  But there is no clear animal, male or female, who rules that pack in every situation. In fact, wolves divvy up all the tasks related to pack maintenance and productivity based on who has the skills to accomplish the job most efficiently. So, to say that wolf out in front of the pack "must be the alpha," acting as sentinel for the group as they move about, is inherently misleading. Oftentimes, the group leader on that jaunt may be out in front BUT the true leader/sentinel is that wolf at the back making sure everyone stays together and safe.  So, why am I telling you all of this?  Well, because anyone who tells you that one of your dogs is the alpha, or that you need to make one of your dogs the alpha, is someone whose knowledge is not only outdated, but invalid.  The dynamics in your multi-dog household are much more complex than that!

Let's clear the air here.  If anyone in your home is the "alpha," it's you, the human.  Period.  You have thumbs and can open cupboards, use a can opener, and pay for that Chewy delivery. Even still, I hate that term as it somehow implies that whoever is the designated alpha gets to make all the calls and that just isn't true. Packs are families first and foremost and we all know that family dynamics are fluid and ever-changing. Yes, you buy the dog food, but if your dog won't eat what you've purchased, who's really making the decision there? If, instead, you take your dog to the pet store and let him sample a couple of different food options before purchasing one, you are acting as a true pack/family; you are making the choices together that benefit you all as a group.  You don't spend money on stuff your dog won't eat and your dog gets to eat what tastes palatable to him.  That's a stable pack decision.

So, let's get back to those multi-dog households where there is discord beyond not liking the food they've been given! Dogs are competitive with each other for attention and for access to resources, meaning that they'll compete for your attention, but they'll also compete for beds, sofas, doorways, resting spots, places to poop and pee, and of course, toys, bones, and chews.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with competition as long as no one gets hurt and everyone has what they need to survive.  If your dogs push and shove to get you to pet them, for example, choose one dog to pet first, pet them as long as you like while ignoring whoever else is trying to push their way in.  This is important because if you try to be "fair," thinking "I've got two hand, one for each dog," you're actually wrong as you are helping build up resentment between your dogs!  Again, pet one dog, finish petting that dog, and move on to the next dog.  I like to step it up a bit and ask whoever is waiting for their turn for attention to sit while they wait.  This just looks so much more controlled than having dog number two (or three) dancing around in the background and/or circling the dog I'm petting first.  Bottom line?  My dogs know that pushing and shoving each other to get to my hands won't increase the likelihood that they are attended to first.  The dog waiting patiently, sitting and wagging their tail though?  Yeah, that dog is getting lovies first.  

When it comes to beds, toys, chews, etc. we all know it doesn't matter if you've got several beds, enough for every dog in your home to choose one to rest on, or enough bones so everyone has one exactly like their housemate's; each of your dogs is going to fervently desire whatever the other dog has. That's just the way it is.  Should you involve yourself in their jockeying for the "best bed," or the "perfect bone?"  Absolutely not.  You are Switzerland as far as your dogs are concerned UNLESS an actual fight breaks out.  You'll stop that and ALL parties should have consequences for not resolving their issues properly and without escalation. You see, dogs have a lot of body language and verbal communication that they can utilize to either gain that desired bed from another dog OR to hang onto the desired bed.  I've watched Ozzie issue a withering stare toward Henley for trying to get him to move off of a dog bed.  Henley will try play bows first, move on to barking, and often attempt to get Ozzie to move by offering him a toy.  If Ozzie wants to keep that spot on the bed, he does the stare, a low grumbling growl, and then turns in a circle on the bed, facing away from Henley.  Basically saying the bed is his and no amount of nonsense is getting him to move.  Henley is good about this.  He'll do a dramatic yawn and move to a different place to lay down.  But make no mistake; if Ozzie gets up off that bed for a drink of water, for example, Henley is on it in a heartbeat, claiming that warm spot Ozzie left behind. I've never seen Ozzie take offense at this at all.  If he's chosen to walk away, he doesn't care about it anymore.

So, what should you do if actual fights are breaking out between your dogs?  Get better control over those resources that they are squabbling over first and foremost.  If one dog is actively defending a sofa large enough for two dogs, then maybe the rule should be no dogs on the sofa at all since then can't share.  And it's definitely the case that furniture privileges should be removed from any dog who aggressively defends said furniture from the humans.  You bought the furniture, it's yours.  You get to choose who you share it with (or not).  If your dogs get into it over bones or chews, but you recognize that bones and chews are good mental and physical exercise for your dogs, then compromise.  Give your dogs their bones and chews in their crates, or at a minimum in separate rooms.  And if it's just one dog who is always picking the fight while everyone else can eat bones at the same time, no problem, then simply remove the aggressor.  They should eat their bone in their crate or another room and only be let out once the others have finished theirs in peace.  

And, remember, if you have to break up a fight, don't put one of your body parts between your dogs! Instead, keep some party air horns readily available and blast them to get them to break it up.  Some dogs might stop if you throw water on them, but I'm not a fan of the clean up that thrown water indoors creates!  If you've got two people breaking up a skirmish, you can each get behind a dog and grab their back legs, just above the hocks, and wheelbarrow them backwards.  They'll let go of each other as they'll be focused so much on walking on just their two front legs, giving you time to separate them safely.

You all know how much I love dogs, but I don't think I could have more than three dogs in my home at a time, and even three is a challenge for me long term.  I love having my granddog, Westley, come for a visit, but I also like it when he goes home and it's just my two, and our little established pack, in my house. My granddog is an "only child," so to speak, so he thinks everything is his.  When he stays  with me, he can be a bit demanding as he's used to getting everything first and having everything be his.  He shares nicely though and only gets a little bent out of shape with Henley when he tries to displace him from a bed or the couch.  I let them handle it themselves, however, as no one has ever drawn blood on another dog, but they sure as heck have made their point and Henley is a good listener!  He's not a beta, or a gamma, or whatever those old school folks are calling it.  He's family and family figures out a way to get along as that's what benefits everyone.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Gang's all here.  Nothing special about the order in which they are in standing.  They all went into the kitchen, with Henley in the lead, thus placing him at the rear when I walked in behind them. Does that make him the alpha and me the gamma?  Nope. It just means Henley gets there faster than the rest of us, but I'm the one with the thumbs to open the treat cupboard, which they all very clearly understand.

Attention Seeking

I received a phone call this week from a dog owner I hadn't worked with since Spring 2020 when she was raising a puppy during the COVID lock-down and needed a Puppy 101 session to make sure she was on the right track with crate training, house training, naps, etc. At that time, I strongly advised that even though she and her puppy were alone together every day, all day, she should crate him in another room for naps and alone time, and take walks or breaks without him.  I wanted to make sure that this puppy was comfortable being alone and confident enough to entertain himself.  I reminded the owner that lock-down wouldn't last forever, and if she had to be able to return to working in an office, she'd need her puppy to be able to stay home alone without being anxious. Fast forward to our most recent conversation. 

Her puppy is now 5 years old, loves his crate, and isn't anxious when she works in the office two days a week and leaves him home alone.  Sounds good, right?  Well, the problem is what happens when she works the other three days from home.  On those days, her dog bugs her constantly for attention.  He shoves on her with toys, paws at her to pet him, barks at her to get her to play, and rings his bell to go outside, just to get her up out of her chair. She thinks he's the most relentless with his attention seeking when she's in a video meeting or on a client call, though she sheepishly admitted that it may just seem worse then because she's not constantly petting him or playing with him at those times! She says she feels like a horrible pet owner if she tries to ignore him and all it seems to do is escalate the situation, resulting in him barking and her yelling, and then she feels even worse.  She wanted to know if it was too late to fix this problem.  Absolutely not!

Attention seeking behavior is something that all dogs do; some (obviously) do it more than others. You see, dogs can't talk, so if they need something, they have to play a game of charades with you to make their wants and needs known.  They need a drink of water, but their bowl is empty.  They might pick up and drop that empty bowl, bark at you and stare at the empty bowl, or they might drink out of the toilet which is sure to get your attention!  When they are hungry, they stare at you and run to the kitchen, or maybe they bring you their food bowl and stare at the clock.  When they want to go outside they stand near a door, bark or scratch at the door, or grab their own leash and bring it to you.  And, yes, when they want to play, they'll bring you a toy (or 10!) to get you to stop what you are doing and play a game with them.  All of this works great as long as you respond to them, right?  Ignore your dog and they often level up their attention seeking to make their needs known.  I've even met dogs who will pinch or nip their owners if they feel their needs are being ignored!  Is it really such a bad thing that your dog alerts you to his needs?  No, not unless they are attention seeking just for the sake of attention seeking, when no real impending need must be met.  Just because your dog is bored does not mean you need to stop what you are doing and engage them. On the contrary, if you do, you'll end up, like the client above, with a dog who cannot entertain themselves.

All behavior has consequences.  A dog who attention seeks unnecessarily needs to learn that doing so results in less attention, not more.  I advised my client to keep a leash near her desk so that she could unceremoniously leash up her dog and walk him to his crate for a time out when he bugs her, but she knows that all of his basic needs have been met.  After a few minutes, if he's quiet, she can go let him out of the crate and redirect him to an activity that will keep him occupied such as a bone, yak chew, puzzle, lick mat, or Kong. I also suggested that she be more scheduled with his walks and play time.  Instead of playing with him at random times during the day, keeping those play sessions to a schedule, much as she does with his meals, means he will learn to anticipate when it's going to be time to play, and differentiate those times from when she is working and won't be able to play with him. She can also start preemptively giving him something to do that addresses boredom and helps him to entertain himself while she's on calls or in meetings.  If he leaves his puzzle, for example, and comes to push on her with a toy, she will need to excuse herself briefly and take him to his crate, however, so he doesn't escalate to barking which is much more disruptive. He's a smart dog; I don't think it will take very many time outs for him to learn to occupy himself until it's a scheduled play time or walk time.

Ozzie has always been good about recognizing that I'm working and not bugging me at all during those times.  He might lay near me, or bring a bone over to chew on, but he's not disruptive. Henley is a different story. Henley has had to learn not to be disruptive as he will squeak toys, shove my arms, bark at Ozzie, and otherwise disrupt the flow of my workday if I didn't train him early on not to do so.  A handful of time outs was all it took for him to understand that he can be in my office when I'm working, but he has to be quiet and engage in self directed activities until I take a break.  He'll test me every now and then by squeaking a toy while I'm working only to find that doing so buys him an immediate time out in his crate in another room. Ozzie will often look at him when this happens and give an irritated growl, almost as if to say, "Dude! I told you to be quiet!"  Henley will be two years old next month, so he's still learning, and that's okay. I just have to be consistent and he'll get it, just like every other dog I've lived with has gotten it.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here's Henley letting me know that it's time for his dental bone.  The dental bones sit on my desk and if I go more than 10 minutes past the time the dogs usually get them, he's the first to tell me I've broken the scheduling rules!

Is This My Fault?

I get asked that a lot by pet owners.  They feel anxious and overwhelmed and are afraid that they've done something that has led their pet to have a behavior problem. They express concern that they actively did something, or neglected to do something, and thus their pet needs my help.  While I understand that it's human nature to want to place the blame somewhere, so to speak, it isn't productive in the case of pet behavior problems, nor is it helpful.  In fact, spending a lot of time worrying about whether you're responsible for your pet's behavior problem is time wasted!  So, let's just clear the air right off the bat.  No.  You are not the reason your pet has a behavior problem.  You may be, however, the reason the problem persists.  Let's take a look at a couple of examples.

Let's say your dog jumps up on people.  You may tell your dog to get down or tell him, "Off!," but he persists in jumping up. You volunteer that your son encourages the dog to jump up on him, placing his big paws on your son's shoulders and licking his face! You think this is cute BUT you don't want the dog jumping on your elderly mother or your granddaughter.  So, while this is not your fault per se, you are the reason the problem of your dog jumping up on people persists.  Dogs generalize; if one person loves them jumping up, then all people must like that.  For your dog and their terminal toddler brain, the people who don't like the jumping are in the minority!  To get your dog to stop jumping up period, you will need to stop rewarding and reinforcing the behavior cold turkey.  Now when your dog jumps up, you won't bother with no, off, down, or letting him lick your face.  No. Now what you will do is turn and walk away, or walk right through them, and remove yourself and ANY form of attention, positive or negative.  It will be a rough couple of weeks, but your dog will see that jumping up is no longer what people want from him.  At that point, you can start reinforcing your dog and rewarding him for having four feet on the ground at all times.

Time for a more serious problem.  Your dog tries to bite you if you pet them when they are laying on the couch.  Someone might tell you this is your fault for letting the dog up on the couch, but that's not really true.  After 30,000+ years of co-evolution, humans have selected for dogs that don't behave aggressively toward people.  Thus, any dog who is aggressive toward people is the exception, the outlier, not the rule.  You are the source of all good things for your dog, so why would he lash out at you for showing him attention and affection? Here's the answer: Your dog is a resource guarder and your couch, and his resting spot on there, are defensible resources.  You could simply stop trying to pet your dog when he's on the couch, thus avoiding a potential confrontation, but better still, just don't let him up there anymore.  Block his access to the room or the sofa, turn the cushions up sideways so it's no longer fun to be up there, or use a tether on him that only allows him to lay on his bed or the floor, but not the furniture. You may feel sad that your dog can't be on the couch with you anymore, but truly, not having him up there is safer for you in the long run and avoids any possible aggressive outbursts.  Aggression isn't a curable problem, but this management solution will make it safer for everyone, guests included.

I hope this brings some of you a modicum of relief.  You aren't the reason your pet has a behavior problem, but maybe now you can see how your behavior has, unfortunately, helped the problem to persist and maybe blossom into a larger issue.  And that's where I come in, right?

As always, if you questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Henley is allowed on the couch because he's never tried to defend his spot from me, or anyone else for that matter, including the other dogs.  You can pet him, hug him, kiss him, or tell him to move off the couch, and he's fine with all of that.  This has less to do with me as his owner and more to do with who he is as a dog.  He understood the (co-evolution) assignment!

Board & Train: Just Some Thoughts

I probably get asked five times a week for a referral to a board and train or for my thoughts on board and train experiences for dogs. I'm happy to share my thoughts with clients (and here, of course!), but I want to make one thing perfectly clear.  I am not here to argue.  What follows is my opinion, based on almost 35 years worth of experience, which is what my clients have asked for anyway, so here goes.

No, I am not going to recommend a board and train for your dog.  No, I've never heard of one that actually worked, long term, to improve a dog's life. And, no, I don't do board and train myself. Now that I've gotten all of that out of the way, let me explain why.

Board and trains, by their very nature, are places where people take their dogs and leave them, to be trained by someone else, for varying lengths of time.  At some of these places, dog owners must come weekly, for example, to work with their dog and a trainer, or participate in group training, but for many board and trains, dog owners do not participate in their dog's "re-boot." I've never understood how anything a dog learns at boot camp will carry over to their owner's home if the owners themselves don't participate in the process.  So, I guess what I'm saying is this:  Owners should board and train with their dogs at boot camp. Trainers need to change the owner's behavior as much as they change the dogs.  Sending them home with a summary, a book, or outlines isn't going to do the trick.  The humans are going to go right back to their old ways making the entire experience a waste of time and money and unncessary stress for the dog who had to go through it.

I've been sent links to several board and trains that guarantee their results.  I see in the fine print that those guarantees hinge on owners continuing the use of "training collars."  Training collars, correction collars, tap collars, whatever you want to call them, I call them shock collars because that's what they are.  Yes, these collars have other settings that vibrate and beep, but the bottom line is that they use punishment to get compliance from your dog.  AND they want you to continue to do that at home. If you are okay with this and it works for you, I suppose that's fine. I will never use an electronic collar on one of my dogs, on one of my client's dogs, or recommend them to anyone.  Ok, I'm going to have to digress for a moment and share a story with you.

In 1991, I was teaching a puppy class in Del Mar, California, an upscale beach community near San Diego.  There were six puppies and owners in the class, one of whom was a German Shepherd puppy with his owner, a retired Marine.  All of the puppies were, well, puppies.  They jumped up, they mouthed people, they barked, and they chewed on their leashes as they resisted walking nicely.  Again, all very normal for a puppy class. Well, the Marine wasn't having it.  He brought his puppy to the third class wearing an electronic collar.  I observed him shocking that puppy when he tried to greet one of the women in class by jumping up on her for a treat.  The puppy yelped, peed, and slunk under the bench.  The Marine smiled, the woman was horrified, and I decided then and there to make an example of this man.  I asked him if he'd tried the collar on himself, just to make sure it was working properly and he knew what the experience would be like for his dog.  He told me that there was no need to do that because he'd spent a fortune on this collar AND he was a retired Marine, a shock would be nothing to him.  I'm sure you know where this is going.  I asked if he'd be willing to show the class this and of course he said yes!  I took the collar off of the dog and took the remote from him.  I fitted the collar on his bare neck and glanced at the remote.  I asked him if he wanted me to use the same "tap" he'd given his dog (a setting of 5 on this remote), or go a little easier since this was just a demonstration, after all.  He replied, whatever works is fine with me.  Wrong thing to say.  I gave him a quick beep and then dialed it up to just 4 and shocked him.  He dropped to one knee and clutched at his neck.  His puppy licked his face and the women in class snickered. I very innocently asked if he wanted me turn it up to the level he'd used on his dog and he said no, that was enough, I'd made my point.  And indeed I had.  Never subject your dog to one of these things if you're not willing to try it on yourself. Dog necks are actually more sensitive than human necks, something this man was surprised to learn.  Nonetheless, I thanked him for helping the class to better understand why this training tool was not something I'd recommend.  The bottom line:  I got much better participation and follow through by the Marine, and by the other people in class, after this demonstration.  So, maybe shock collars are good for something after all!

So, why don't I offer my own board and train experience?  While it might seem lucrative to do so, again, I don't think there is a lot of value in working with dogs without their owners involved.  So, to be successful, I'd have to operate a B & B experience for dog owners where they stay and work with their dogs and with me, in the hopes that the behavioral changes stick.  The problem is, I really think dogs are different when they aren't at home. They are a little less sure, a bit uneasy, a bit more compliant.  For it to work, I'd have to go live with them in their home (think, the Supernanny TV program!), and I'm just not doing that, though I've had people ask me to!

There just really aren't any quick fixes when it comes to dog training.  You have to put in the time yourself, perhaps with a dog trainer you trust to do right by you and your dog.  And if you're doing it all yourself, and getting frustrated, then definitely seek the help of a professional!  You shouldn't feel so frustrated that you question your relationship with your dog. I had a client tell me just this week that while she loved her dog, she didn't really like him, and that stuck with me.  I'm glad she reached out for help from me because I think, together, we can turn that around for both of them.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here's Ozzie doing a bit of training research on his own for an activity in the Dog Aging Project. He's stuck with me as his "trainer" for this study, but if I need help, I know who to call ;)

The Best Advice!

A couple of years ago, I was asked by an interviewer to share my five favorite pieces of advice for pet owners.  I blogged on that topic, so you can still find that post if you want to read it again (or for the first time!).  I was interviewed again this week, and lo and behold, asked that same question!  I didn't want to give those same answers because the truth of the matter is, I have lots of favorites when it comes to helping pets and their people.  So, here are five pieces of advice I love and that I shared with the interviewer this time around:

1. It's okay to sleep with your pets on your bed. As long as you doing so isn't unsafe for you or for them, that is.  If you are living with an aggressive pet, it simply isn't a good idea to have them on your bed, and it may in fact not be a safe idea to have them in your bedroom at all. You don't want to risk bumping them, rolling over on them, or stepping on them, for example, if doing so could trigger an aggressive or defensive response.  For dogs and cats who bite their owners, being out of the bedroom is just a good safety measure.  For some senior pets, extra precautions need to be put in place to make sure that they can safely remain on the bed with you.  You may need bed bumpers to keep them from falling out or jumping off, or it may be safer to crate them in your bedroom so that they can still be near you, but not risk falling or startling them when you move in bed at night. And even if the aggression isn't directed at you, if it's directed at a spouse, that's still a problem.  Dogs who resource guard their owners or their owner's beds do not belong on the bed at all!

2.  Dogs need more than daily walks to be happy. It's true that in the 70's and 80's, dog owners were told that walking their dogs twice daily (in addition to their daily meals) was all that they needed to be happy and healthy. We now know that simply wasn't true.  Dogs can and do lead active lives filled with social experiences, opportunities for problem solving, sniffaris, and play time. Frankly, I think those dogs of my childhood were bored out of their minds.  It's no wonder they ran off if someone left the door open!  Dogs do need daily physical exercise, that's true.  But they also need lots of mental stimulation including opportunities to solve problems (think food puzzles here), chew on bones (they have the teeth for it), and play with toys that you rotate to maintain interest and enthusiasm. 

3.  Cats need more than a full food bowl to be happy. We've come a long way in our understanding of what our feline friends need to be content and well-adjusted too.  They certainly need to be fed, but that food doesn't need to be provided in a never-empty-food-bowl.  Cats are predators who like to hunt, so let them hunt for food you've hidden, or use food-based puzzles designed for cats to feed them their meals.  Cats need perches, climbing opportunities, and scratching options. While you might feel that one vertical cat tree is enough, your cat begs to differ.  They want shelves, cubbies, and cat trees that go all the way to the ceiling, incorporating hiding areas and different scratching and rubbing opportunities.  They also want more litter boxes!  The rule of thumb is one litter box, per cat, plus one, all cleaned daily, and fully cleaned weekly.

4.  Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I never had pet insurance on any of my pets until I got Henley.  I decided that he would be my first collie to have it, affording me a better understanding of the pet insurance market and how having insurance for him might be helpful for his long-term care.  Well, boy am I glad I did! Henley has had a ton of issues related to his serious allergies and once we got through the initial period of time establishing his allergic conditions, most of his care related to his allergies has been covered by his insurance. Whew!  My wallet is grateful for that.  Now, when asked, I always recommend that pet owners look at pet insurance for their new additions and use Henley as an example!

5.  Dogs do dream and they dream about YOU. The vast majority of a dog's memories are about you, so make the most of their short time on this planet. Make sure their dreams are beautiful, their experiences enriching, and their lives filled with love, opportunities, and plentiful delicious snacks.

Yeah, you're right.  Ozzie and Henley made me throw in that part about the snacks.  Go figure.

And, as always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here is one of my favorite pictures of Westley asleep in my daughter's bed.  Not on her bed, but under the covers, AND using the pillows!  Westley is a bed hog and will definitely get moved over to one side when my daughter climbs into bed, but he won't take offense and will find a way to spoon with her as soon as she gets comfy.  Nothing that needs fixing here!

What Does it Mean?

As many of you know, I'm teaching a seminar on body language right now for one of my favorite dog trainers.  I love when she invites me to teach seminars for her as I get to meet some really fantastic dog owners in the process!  During the first meeting (there are just two meetings in this seminar series), I got some great questions which all seemed to start with the phrase, "What does it mean when...?"  Here's one of those questions and why I felt it was really important to share the question and my response here with you as well.

A class participant wanted to know what it meant when her dog climbed up her body, front legs around her neck, and stretched himself so he could rest his head on top of hers.  Another dog owner in class added that she'd always understood behavior like that to be about the dog asserting dominance over the owner.  At this point, a cute, large breed puppy attending class with her owner, proceeded to demonstrate what this looks like, by scaling her way into her owner's lap, sighing happily and resting her head on her owner's shoulder. We all laughed as clearly, at least far as this puppy was concerned, such behavior wasn't about dominance.  So why do dogs do this?  The answer is very simple: They do this to seek attention through physical connection with us. It's a display of contentment and affection and meant to communicate their feelings of comfort with us. Dogs do a version of this with each other too.  The classic "dog pile," a heap of tired dogs, all sleeping on top of or over one another, is about physical connection, contentment, and affiliation.  It's also great for keeping warm!

Now, sure, some dogs who are feeling insecure will also climb up onto their owners as a way to escape what is making them fearful, but, again, they are seeking closeness with their humans in order to feel less stressed and anxious.  It's a compliment, really, that they feel like you can make the icky stuff go away for them.  They trust you to fix it. And after 30,000 years of coevolution, it's our job to fix it, right?

It is an outdated idea that a dog putting its head on your shoulder or head, putting its paws on your shoulders in a hug, or a dog jumping into your lap, etc. are about dominance.  Those types of archaic notions end up hurting dogs and their relationship with their humans.  If you, for example, were to correct your dog for these behaviors, I'm certain that they would eventually stop doing them, but what a shame!  Stopping them from showing affection, attention, and affiliation?  Discouraging them from showing you how much they appreciate your bond with them?  Sounds cruel and unnecessary to me.  Dogs deserve better; they deserve people making a wholehearted attempt to understand where they are coming from and what they are trying to say, without words, using their bodies.  And this, my friends, is why I teach this body language seminar every chance I get.  Dogs need my help to teach their owners what they are "saying" and I'm here for that every single time.

And, as always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Henley loves to cuddle and always has.  As a puppy, he'd want to be picked up and held, often riding on shoulders as you see in this photo.  As a 75 lb young adult dog now, he still likes to lay on laps, and he sleeps with me at night, his head across my neck.  I feel privileged that he's chosen me as his person and our relationship is strong and built on trust, love, mutual understanding, and plenty of cookies!

Routine Maintenance

I took my car in for service last week.  It was just routine maintenance (oil change, tire, rotation, etc.) and I'm sure you know the drill when it comes to maintaining your vehicle to keep it in good working condition.  While I was waiting for my car to be done, I got to thinking about routine maintenance as it applies to other things.  Which, of course, led me to thinking about our pets and what "routine maintenance" could mean for them, beyond the obvious yearly (or biannual, if your pet is a senior) physical exam and blood work.

If your pet had a behavior problem and you solved it, kudos to you!  But did you realize that you have to keep doing routine maintenance with them to ensure that the problem doesn't return AND to make sure that you are still reinforcing them for the absence of that behavior problem? Let me give you an example.

Let's say your dog was previously fearful of riding in the car.  You worked with him slowly, getting him used to being around the car while you washed it, perhaps, building up to sitting in the car with the doors open and then closed. And you slowly worked your way to starting the car in the driveway, and then to a slow drive around the block.  Eventually, you worked up to longer distances away, all the while reinforcing your dog for not being afraid of the car. You used really high value treats to do this and lots of praise.  Now, your dog rides in the car like a champ, even getting excited when you ask him if he wants to go for a ride, tail wagging in anticipation.  Did you notice, however, that he drools a bit, licks his lips, or seems to be looking at you for a treat while wagging that tail in anticipation of the car ride?  He's doing that because he's actually anticipating the positive reinforcement (the yummy, high value treats) that you desensitized him to the car with! Sure, you could pat him on the head and tell him he's a good boy, but really, he wants that treat, the one that rewarded him all those times before for being brave and learning to deal with a moving vehicle.  So, what does this mean for you?  It just means that you should still use treats for car rides.  You don't need to use as many, but you should certainly use a few.  Maybe one for being happy to go with you to the car, and another for getting in, and maybe one more when you get home from the car ride. Thus, you are reinforcing the absence of his fear, ensuring that he still understands how rewarding it is to NOT be afraid of car rides.

Now, I'm not suggesting you dish out treats for every behavior that your dog knows and that you wish to see maintained. I am, however, suggesting that you think about it a little bit more and keep yourself prepared.  While your dog knows to sit when asked, perhaps a treat when he does so without being asked AND when he's being approached by a stranger for attention, might be a good time to reinforce that basic behavior as part of his routine maintenance. In order to do this, all you would need to remember to do is to keep treats in your pocket.  And, seriously, who doesn't have treats in their pocket? I know I do!

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Westley used to hate riding in the car. He'd quiver, pant, drool, and sometimes vomit.  Clearly he was afraid of the car and ultimately getting carsick as well, but living with my daughter meant lots of car rides in his life, some quite long road trips, so we needed to help him move through his fears right off the bat.  We worked with Westley during his first summer with us, building up his tolerance and ultimately his enjoyment of car rides. Now, he rides in the car like a champ, often trying to "call shotgun" as you see in this photo. He's a happy car companion now, and we definitely do routine maintenance with him to make sure he stays that way.

Blended Families

In last week's blog post, I mentioned dogs that don't like kids.  Yes, it's true.  There are a lot of dogs who really don't like kids, their own family's or otherwise.  A lot of dogs just learn to tolerate kids. And there are some dogs whose behavior is incompatible with life in a home with children.  All joking aside, you can't get rid of the kids, so it's usually the dog that has to move on to a new home.  Truly moving the dog on to a better living situation is key, no matter how much you love your dog.  You want to protect your dog (and your kids); having your dog pushed to his limits, to the point of aggression, will limit his options for a new home environment.  Better to help him find that space before one of your kids gets bitten.  Which brings me to a client I saw early this week, after she'd read my blog last week.  Here's her story with some details changed to protect her privacy, but she wanted her story shared.

My client married her husband last summer and at that point they combined households; up until that time, she maintained her separate home which included her 5 year old, male, mixed breed dog and her fiance maintained his home which was pet-free, except for a pair of goldfish.  Her new husband also has two children under the age of 12 who live with him part-time.  During the period of time that they were together before they married, he brought his kids with him to her house to visit and they met her dog there.  For the most part, her dog avoided the kids, choosing to go hang out in his crate in her bedroom.  She had diligently explained to the kids that they shouldn't take this personally, and that they should respect his safe space and leave him alone while he was in there, which they did. Her husband-to-be kept saying, "Oh, he'll get used to the kids once he's around them more often," but my client knew otherwise in her heart of hearts.  You see, her dog didn't just avoid his kids, her dog avoided all kids. Kids in the neighborhood, her sister's kids, her best friend's kids, and kids in his puppy class when he was younger.  To put it plainly, her dog didn't like kids.  He was smart, however, and just avoided them, but she was worried about what would happen when they moved in together. 

Once they combined households, it went downhill pretty fast. It took time for her dog to adjust to the new home and not having his owner's undivided attention. Luckily, her new husband made an effort with the dog, taking him for walks, giving him treats, and playing fetch with him, his favorite game.  The problems really started when the kids were there every other weekend.  While he seemed to begrudgingly accept them there on Thursday nights for dinner (he just stayed in his crate), he was really discombobulated when they were there for two days straight. 

He began with some mild self-mutilation, chewing on his feet and tail until he created sores in those areas. He became reclusive on those weekends, rarely venturing out of his crate unless he had to use the bathroom.  His favorite time of day on those weekends were late evenings when the kids were in bed and he could quietly coexist with his adult humans. Her vet had recommended me after the self-mutilation was determined to be a behavior problem and not related to allergies, but the owner had waited, thinking her dog just needed time to adjust.  Unfortunately, she waited too long and her dog snapped at one of the kids, creating a huge issue for her new marriage and for her relationship with her new spouse's ex-wife who was livid that her kids were living in a home with an "aggressive dog."  This is when I finally came into the picture.

I suggested that we meet on neutral ground and have all the adults and the dog present.  Given the nature of what we were discussing, I thought it best for the kids not to be there.  I chose a park for us to meet and asked that the couple bring the dog a few minutes earlier, before the ex-wife arrived, so I could meet the dog ahead of time.  I found this dog to be bright, engaging, friendly but not effusive.  He was interested in me, took treats and responded to requests, even letting me walk him away from his owners on a leash, walking back without pulling.  He presented as a well-mannered, well-cared for dog.  He did not present as anxious, until a couple of kids entered the park and began kicking a ball near where we were meeting. He became wary at this point, choosing to lay down under the picnic table rather than out by the humans.  He kept an eye on those kids until they moved on.

I explained to this blended family that while I really liked this dog and thought he was a delightful companion animal, he was no longer the right animal for this family.  He was wonderful with adults, but clearly anxious with children and it was unfair to him to force him to live, albeit part-time, with kids.  He was never going to accept them, enjoy them, or want to be around them. No amount of training, treats, or coaxing was going to change that. While I've certainly met more than one dog whose affections for anyone could readily be bought with yummy treats, this dog was not one of them. He wanted nothing to do with those kids, really anyone's kids, and he'd made that quite clear. It was now up to the humans to set aside their feelings and do right by this dog. For the sake of her marriage and life now as a step-mother, and for the safety of the kids, my client needed to re-home her dog. 

As you might imagine, my client was devastated by this.  I told her that she shouldn't delay this as it would just make things harder for her and riskier for the kids as up until this point her dog had only hurt himself.  He'd warned the kids, but stopped there.  He could certainly move on to a bite and at that point he'd be much harder to place.  She knew she needed to find a home for him with someone outside her immediate circle of friends and family who all had kids or grandkids in their lives.  Ultimately, she found someone at work who was interested in taking him, a nice older woman without kids or grandkids, who had really wanted a dog but who didn't want to raise a puppy and go through puppyhood and adolescence. My client asked if I would meet with this new owner and help make the transition easier for all involved, which I will do.  So far, however, it seems like it's working out, so we'll see what happens once this dog settles into his new home environment.  I know one thing for sure:  Everyone is heaving a big sigh of relief.  This was a sad situation, but one that could have been much worse if they hadn't addressed it when they did.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Desi absolutely LOVED kids. Mine, the ones in our neighborhood, and even my friends' kids.  This made him an ideal therapy dog for schools and library visits.  Ozzie has learned to tolerate kids, but they aren't his favorite.  Henley and Westley love kids, which is really nice.  They'll be able to do therapy visits where kids are involved versus Ozzie whose visits are all with adults, which is his preference. 

I Understand Your Frustration!

I really do understand your frustration. It's infuriating when your cat marks indoors or your dog lunges and snaps at other dogs. I know you feel helpless when your dog tries to bite the mail carrier.  I know you feel like a bad pet parent when your cats aren't getting along or your dog doesn't like your kids.  I get it.  Behavior problems are a hassle.  If you've had pets for years and never experienced a behavior problem with one (or more!) of them, you are incredibly fortunate.  Even my veterinarian friends and dog trainer friends have had to deal with behavior problems in their own homes. It can happen to anybody. BUT.  You simply cannot take out your frustration on your vet, your dog trainer, your behaviorist, or your pet. Believe it or not, we really do want to help you, but you have to be open to helping yourself.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating.  Rome wasn't built in a day.  You are not going to fix your pet's issue simply by making a phone call or scheduling an appointment.  There will be work to do and YOU, the pet parent, will have to do it.  Sending a dog off to boot camp will not only cost you a pretty penny, but it is very unlikely to solve the issues you sent them to boot camp for. I've worked with numerous clients following an expensive and unsuccessful trip to doggie boot camp. You need to do the work yourself, guided by a reputable dog trainer, or a behaviorist, if the problems are related to anxiety and not simply related to issues in obedience/control. And even if we do decide to utilize anti-anxiety medication for your pet, it's not an instant panacea. Anti-anxiety medications, while helpful in certain cases, are not magic.  It will not be like night and day, with your pet magically fixed just because you started them on a course of Prozac. Especially if they've only been on the drug for a week!  It's a marathon, not a sprint.  All that those medications do is change your pet's brain chemistry, making them more relaxed and able to focus on what you are teaching them in terms of alternate behaviors.  Yes, YOU are the one teaching them the alternate behaviors because you are the human who lives with them 24/7.  I'll show you what to do, but I don't live with you. You've got to be consistent, patient, and persistent in your quest for better, more appropriate behavior, from your pet.

Now, let's talk about your pet.  They didn't read the behavior books.  They didn't look up their symptoms on the internet.  You did those things for them and as such, they will not be changing their behavior without some resistance.  Why, you ask, does your pet resist changing their behavior?  Well, my friends, because those behaviors have worked for them in the past, fulfilling some inherent need they have, whether that's a need for control, a need to distance themselves from other animals, a need to fulfill their prey drive, or a need to establish boundaries on what is theirs and worth defending. It's your job to teach them that these alternate behaviors will fulfill their needs in a more acceptable (to you) way AND that you will reward them for those changes in their behavior.

I know we've talked about this a million times, but if you really want a behavior to change, you have to pay your pet for making those changes, or those steps toward those changes (shaping).  Holding out on the treats until they are 100% on the behavior change isn't going to end well.  And people who tell me that they don't want to use treats because then their pets will rely on treats to comply, clearly don't understand transactional communication.  There is communication going on between you and your pet all the time and you need to mark those transactions that go well using a form of currency your pet enjoys.  It does no good to offer your dog a dry cookie if they don't consider that a proper payment. Now, you don't need to be held hostage by your pet for filet mignon. I'm only saying, understand what they consider rewarding, and use that to your advantage.  Don't bribe them to change their behavior, pay them for actually do it.

Finally, while we are on the topic of currency, one more thought:  While your veterinarian, groomer, dog trainer, and behaviorist all love animals and want to help them (otherwise why would we be doing this?!), we don't work for free.  We all have bills to pay, families to support, and pets to feed too.  Yes, I know it's expensive to pay your animal practitioners and maybe just a little frustrating that you are paying them AND you are the one who also has to implement what they said/did/gave you to do.  But that's the thing. You are paying them for their knowledge and expertise which didn't come cheap.  Your vet knows that medication will help your pet, for example, but it's not their job to give it to your pet successfully every day to treat the problem. That's your job. And if you can't give a pill to your cat or your dog, then by all means, ask for help!  But do expect to pay for that help, that's only fair.

I'm currently having my own frustration as my bathroom is torn up for repairs.  It wasn't built properly before I moved in, and now I'm the one dealing with the consequences of that.  Kind of like rescuing a dog.  My bathroom seemed good, I liked the way it looked, but ultimately it has issues that require a professional to fix.  And I'll be paying my professional for his knowledge and expertise, knowing that, in the end, I'll have a beautiful, functional, usable bathroom that I can be proud of, show off to my friends, and use for years to come.  Hopefully, you'll be just as proud of your pet after we work together that you won't be able to wait to show them off too.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

That's Henley in the background, dreaming, I'm sure, of an office without a toilet in the middle of it, sometime soon.

That's A Really Good Question!

I had a doctor's appointment last week and at the end of my appointment, the doctor asked me if I thought there was one particular reason that people are bitten by a cat or dog (apparently, she'd treated three bites right around Christmas time). I told her that this was a really good question and one that people should really give more thought to if they share a home with dogs, cats, or both.

I believe the primary reason anyone is bitten by a cat or dog, their own or otherwise, is that they misread, or flat out didn't read, the body language cues given to them by the animal.  Both dogs and cats use body language as a primary form of communication with each other and with us.  A dog understands what a cat arching its back means, just as a cat understands what a crouched, slow moving dog is saying. They don't have to speak the same "language" to be able to "read" each other's intent.  Our pets spend all day everyday in our company, so they are adept at reading our body language, as well as our verbal cues.  Us understanding what our pets are saying with their body language is imperative to a good relationship with them.  Not only will you have a better understanding of what motivates your pet, and why they feel the way they do at any given time, it's just a good safety practice.  If you are at least minimally adept at reading body language cues from your pets, you have a much better chance of avoiding a bite.  I think this is one of the main reasons that kids are bitten so frequently; they are simply too young and too egocentric to have a keen grasp of body language in another species. Rather than heeding warnings from the family pets, many children push those pets beyond their comfort level resulting in a bite. When this happens, the pets are blamed and often punished, banished, and ultimately removed.  While I agree with separating kids from pets that are unsafe to be around, I also feel that educating kids, even very young children, to better understand what their cats and dogs are telling them is important.  The funny (not so funny really) thing about all of this is that when I meet kids who have been bitten by a cat or dog, I often find that their parents/grandparents missed the cues too!

I know I've talked about the importance of understanding body language many times here on my blog and even suggested books for you to pick up for a better handle on this topic, and yet I still get calls every week from people who've been bitten, or narrowly missed being bitten.  The bottom line? A lot of bites could be avoided simply by giving that animal a choice, an out, or the ability and space to walk away.  Rather than approaching a pet and patting them, get their attention and call them to you. If they don't perk up and head your way, they aren't interested in interacting. If you insist on approaching them, okay, go ahead and do that, but don't corner them; always make sure that they can exit the space safely without having to go around you. One of the first things I teach kids in homes with pets is to avoid approaching the pet, but instead wait for the pet to come to them.  It's the rare dog or cat that seeks out a child to bite them and much more likely that they bit the child because the child came at them and there was no way to avoid it.

I think the reason my doctor saw so many bites in the span of a week is simply this:  The holidays are a stressful time for everyone, including our pets. People are dressing their pets up, forcing them to pose for pictures, putting their kids into those pictures as well, sitting on or laying on the dog, holding the cat like a ragdoll, etc. There are guests invading their home territories, strange foods, plants, and decor they aren't allowed to touch or investigate, all adding to their heightened arousal and agitation.  Giving pets an out, a choice to be involved in family activities, or to remove themselves, is the key.  Not pushing interactions, but instead allowing pets to choose what they are comfortable doing and what they wish to avoid.

Now, sure, it's possible to be bitten by an animal that doesn't live with you and whose body language cues were unfamiliar to you. However, this is a bit less likely because, again, dog and cat body language are universal.  If you are a runner being chased by a dog, stop running.  You'll never outrun a quadraped! Instead, stop, drop your hands at your sides, and avoid eye contact. Hopefully, the dog will sniff you, determine you aren't a threat to their territory, and move on.  You should probably still carry an air horn or pepper spray, just in case, but again, keeping a cool head and not escalating the situation by misreading each other's body language, could very well avoid a bite in the first place.

After going through all of these thoughts on the subject with my doctor, I finished by saying, are you sorry you asked, LOL!  She laughed and said she was glad she'd asked and had a better idea now going forward as to what she should say to her patients following a bite.  Basically, cats and dogs rarely bite for no reason.  You just need to make the effort to understand their reasoning and the best way to do that is to be able to speak the same language, the language of body cues.

That's it for this week.  And remember, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Henley's body language here is pretty clear.  He's sound asleep in the classic smooth collie "not a care in the world" pose. While I'm 99.9% sure that I could walk over and start petting him when he's like this, I don't ever do that.  Why?  Because I don't want to startle him.  Am I being overly cautious?  No. I'm just being a respectful human.