What Does it Mean?

As many of you know, I'm teaching a seminar on body language right now for one of my favorite dog trainers.  I love when she invites me to teach seminars for her as I get to meet some really fantastic dog owners in the process!  During the first meeting (there are just two meetings in this seminar series), I got some great questions which all seemed to start with the phrase, "What does it mean when...?"  Here's one of those questions and why I felt it was really important to share the question and my response here with you as well.

A class participant wanted to know what it meant when her dog climbed up her body, front legs around her neck, and stretched himself so he could rest his head on top of hers.  Another dog owner in class added that she'd always understood behavior like that to be about the dog asserting dominance over the owner.  At this point, a cute, large breed puppy attending class with her owner, proceeded to demonstrate what this looks like, by scaling her way into her owner's lap, sighing happily and resting her head on her owner's shoulder. We all laughed as clearly, at least far as this puppy was concerned, such behavior wasn't about dominance.  So why do dogs do this?  The answer is very simple: They do this to seek attention through physical connection with us. It's a display of contentment and affection and meant to communicate their feelings of comfort with us. Dogs do a version of this with each other too.  The classic "dog pile," a heap of tired dogs, all sleeping on top of or over one another, is about physical connection, contentment, and affiliation.  It's also great for keeping warm!

Now, sure, some dogs who are feeling insecure will also climb up onto their owners as a way to escape what is making them fearful, but, again, they are seeking closeness with their humans in order to feel less stressed and anxious.  It's a compliment, really, that they feel like you can make the icky stuff go away for them.  They trust you to fix it. And after 30,000 years of coevolution, it's our job to fix it, right?

It is an outdated idea that a dog putting its head on your shoulder or head, putting its paws on your shoulders in a hug, or a dog jumping into your lap, etc. are about dominance.  Those types of archaic notions end up hurting dogs and their relationship with their humans.  If you, for example, were to correct your dog for these behaviors, I'm certain that they would eventually stop doing them, but what a shame!  Stopping them from showing affection, attention, and affiliation?  Discouraging them from showing you how much they appreciate your bond with them?  Sounds cruel and unnecessary to me.  Dogs deserve better; they deserve people making a wholehearted attempt to understand where they are coming from and what they are trying to say, without words, using their bodies.  And this, my friends, is why I teach this body language seminar every chance I get.  Dogs need my help to teach their owners what they are "saying" and I'm here for that every single time.

And, as always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Henley loves to cuddle and always has.  As a puppy, he'd want to be picked up and held, often riding on shoulders as you see in this photo.  As a 75 lb young adult dog now, he still likes to lay on laps, and he sleeps with me at night, his head across my neck.  I feel privileged that he's chosen me as his person and our relationship is strong and built on trust, love, mutual understanding, and plenty of cookies!