Is This My Fault?

I get asked that a lot by pet owners.  They feel anxious and overwhelmed and are afraid that they've done something that has led their pet to have a behavior problem. They express concern that they actively did something, or neglected to do something, and thus their pet needs my help.  While I understand that it's human nature to want to place the blame somewhere, so to speak, it isn't productive in the case of pet behavior problems, nor is it helpful.  In fact, spending a lot of time worrying about whether you're responsible for your pet's behavior problem is time wasted!  So, let's just clear the air right off the bat.  No.  You are not the reason your pet has a behavior problem.  You may be, however, the reason the problem persists.  Let's take a look at a couple of examples.

Let's say your dog jumps up on people.  You may tell your dog to get down or tell him, "Off!," but he persists in jumping up. You volunteer that your son encourages the dog to jump up on him, placing his big paws on your son's shoulders and licking his face! You think this is cute BUT you don't want the dog jumping on your elderly mother or your granddaughter.  So, while this is not your fault per se, you are the reason the problem of your dog jumping up on people persists.  Dogs generalize; if one person loves them jumping up, then all people must like that.  For your dog and their terminal toddler brain, the people who don't like the jumping are in the minority!  To get your dog to stop jumping up period, you will need to stop rewarding and reinforcing the behavior cold turkey.  Now when your dog jumps up, you won't bother with no, off, down, or letting him lick your face.  No. Now what you will do is turn and walk away, or walk right through them, and remove yourself and ANY form of attention, positive or negative.  It will be a rough couple of weeks, but your dog will see that jumping up is no longer what people want from him.  At that point, you can start reinforcing your dog and rewarding him for having four feet on the ground at all times.

Time for a more serious problem.  Your dog tries to bite you if you pet them when they are laying on the couch.  Someone might tell you this is your fault for letting the dog up on the couch, but that's not really true.  After 30,000+ years of co-evolution, humans have selected for dogs that don't behave aggressively toward people.  Thus, any dog who is aggressive toward people is the exception, the outlier, not the rule.  You are the source of all good things for your dog, so why would he lash out at you for showing him attention and affection? Here's the answer: Your dog is a resource guarder and your couch, and his resting spot on there, are defensible resources.  You could simply stop trying to pet your dog when he's on the couch, thus avoiding a potential confrontation, but better still, just don't let him up there anymore.  Block his access to the room or the sofa, turn the cushions up sideways so it's no longer fun to be up there, or use a tether on him that only allows him to lay on his bed or the floor, but not the furniture. You may feel sad that your dog can't be on the couch with you anymore, but truly, not having him up there is safer for you in the long run and avoids any possible aggressive outbursts.  Aggression isn't a curable problem, but this management solution will make it safer for everyone, guests included.

I hope this brings some of you a modicum of relief.  You aren't the reason your pet has a behavior problem, but maybe now you can see how your behavior has, unfortunately, helped the problem to persist and maybe blossom into a larger issue.  And that's where I come in, right?

As always, if you questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Henley is allowed on the couch because he's never tried to defend his spot from me, or anyone else for that matter, including the other dogs.  You can pet him, hug him, kiss him, or tell him to move off the couch, and he's fine with all of that.  This has less to do with me as his owner and more to do with who he is as a dog.  He understood the (co-evolution) assignment!