Whether you are planning a wedding or getting ready for some other type of big celebration like a birthday party or graduation get-together, you may be trying to figure out if you should include your dog in the festivities or not. Whether that means as a participant wearing a bow tie or ribbon and walking down the aisle with a basket of flowers or carrying the rings at your wedding, or simply as a guest hanging out with the other invited guests, should be predicated on how well your dog does with following directions and with how much they like being included in potentially chaotic situations. There's nothing like a festive family gathering to potentially stress out your dog (and you!). Obviously, big parties and social events are not for every dog. Many folks opt to leave their dogs with sitters or at boarding facilities when they have major family commitments, while others will want to include their dogs because they are viewed as truly important family members. Either way, if you are considering having your dog join you for any major event, let's talk about how to prepare them so that they can be as successful as possible.
First, be honest with yourself. If your main reason for including your dog in your big event is the cute photo op for Instagram, then you're likely going to be disappointed. Dogs, much like children, are best captured in photos where they are permitted to be themselves. The best wedding photos I've ever seen that included the dog were the ones where the dog fell asleep under a table at the reception, or was caught napping on the bride's train. Those are 100% things dogs do! Posing, facing the camera, sitting up straight for a group picture is not something most dogs will do. At least not repeatedly with a professional photographer staring in their face. If your dog doesn't really like loud noises like clapping and cheering, unfamiliar people staring at them or petting them, and isn't trustworthy not to lift a leg on a guest's chair, sample food from the buffet, or jump on a party guest, then they probably should sit out your big event. You don't want the main thing folks remember about your big day to be "that crazy dog they insisted upon including!"
It's one thing to have your dog be an attendee at a big event and it's quite another to have them participate. As a simple attendee, your dog has more freedom of movement than if they are actually expected to participate. For example, if your dog will be walking with you down the aisle: Will they be on leash or off leash? Walking on your left or your right? Will they be wearing something like a tie or ribbon? Are they supposed to carry something in their mouth or around their neck? Each of these behaviors requires training, repetition, and of course big rewards! Plus, you need to be prepared to improvise just in case they decide not to comply when the big day arrives. And even if your dog loves wearing a bow tie and can easily walk with you leash or not down the aisle, what about after that? Are they able to sit or lay quietly through the rest of the ceremony? Will they also be attending the reception? Because if they are, you'll need to work with them on appropriate party behavior: No table surfing, no begging for food, no running, no barking, and no rambunctious play. And if your dog is sensitive to loud noises, again, they may need to sit out the dancing and music in favor of a quiet place away from the noise to rest. You can certainly train a dog not to table surf or beg for snacks, but you can't really change the way they view loud music and rowdy dancing.
My own dogs have attended many birthday parties and graduation celebrations over the years. I allow them to participate as much or as little as they choose to, meaning they always have an exit if the party gets too loud or there are too many people for their comfort. The last graduation party we had at our house, Westley and Desi were still alive. Westley chose to participate in the entire proceedings, following my daughter around, engaging with guests, and doing tricks for treats. Ozzie participated for a short period of time, visiting with people he knew, checking to make sure the gate was closed, and noshing on ice cubes from the barrel filled with cool drinks, before retiring to a room inside away from the celebration. Desi, although generally a social butterfly, chose to say hi when guests arrived, but then retreated indoors to nap away from the festivities and that was fine too. I didn't push my dogs and they behaved as I expected them to. They made it into quite a few candid photos, but I didn't ask them to pose for the less than candid pictures. By all accounts the event was a success.
As many of you know, my daughter is getting married next year and several of you have asked if her dog, Zelly, will be a flower girl or otherwise participate in the proceedings. Here's the answer: Zelly will not be participating, nor will she be attending, and not because she isn't the sweetest girl, or because she doesn't love people and parties, because she does! She isn't being included because having her there would be unnecessarily distracting for my daughter. She would worry about Zelly's safety because their event space has streams, narrow bridges, and occasional wildlife nearby. Zelly participated actively in the surprise proposal, but she will be sitting out the wedding with a trusted housesitter, in the company of Ozzie and Henley. She won't feel like she's missing anything and I'll know my daughter isn't worrying about her safety. That's a win for everybody. In the meantime, I'm teaching Zelly to pick up and carry items, just for fun. Who knows? Maybe down the road she'll be picking up a child's dropped toys for my daughter. A grandmother can dream, right?
As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.
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