First and foremost, I'm pretty sure those scuffles weren't unprovoked. I'm not saying the daycare dropped the ball somehow and missed something, on the contrary, I'm saying what happened was likely subtle and building over the last few months. A few pointed stares, being stepped over or on, run through or over, and you can have a dog who's on edge. That same dog who's always been social may now see social interactions as less than satisfying. He might even feel frustrated enough to react, but if he can't direct his frustration at the offender, he may just lash out at whoever is closest at the time (redirected aggression). In the case of my client's dog, I was able to watch the video of one of the interactions in question. Sure enough, I saw an example of redirected aggression; the dog who was on the receiving end of my client's dog's frustration truly hadn't done anything. He was just standing there, minding his own business, but he was in striking range and thus an easier target than the real culprit. Who was that dog? He was the dog strutting around on his toes, tail high, chuffing who had actually urinated on my client's dog while he was sniffing and then backed into him and tried to sit on him! How did the daycare miss this, you ask? Well, they were working with two other dogs in the playgroup whose play had gotten them overstimulated. Basically, the offender dog saw an opportunity (humans were distracted) and he ran with it and my client's dog who was smaller than him, was on the receiving end of some inappropriate dog behavior. My guess is that this type of thing had happened more than once (the daycare often has this same group of dogs together two days a week) and my client's dog was fed up. So, what's the solution?
Sure, the daycare could split this group up. They could have more staff monitoring the group, or they could keep eyes on the offender to make sure he behaves himself going forward. But truly, he's probably one of many dogs who tests boundaries at daycare; he wasn't the first, and he clearly won't be the last. Instead, I think we have to look at who is in these playgroups, what we want them to get out of the experience, and set up the groups accordingly. Nothing so simplistic as small dogs in one group, rambunctious dogs in another, and seniors over there. Rather, personality, temperament, and play style should be the determining factors. Yes, age is important, but I've met some rowdy senior dogs and some reserved puppies, so age can't be the only factor. The other thing to keep in mind is this: Daycare isn't for every dog. And while it might be great for your dog for the first year of his life (or the first couple of years), it's unlikely to be his favorite thing forever. Why? Because play behavior and motivation to play changes over time. Puppies (seemingly) can play all day while adult dogs play with each other for shorter periods of time. Puppies do a lot more rough and tumble play than adult dogs. Adult dogs prefer to play with known playmates over random dogs they meet. Puppies will play with anyone! Puppies are often forgiving when they get run over and seem to shrug it off when corrected; adult dogs often get anxious and feel cornered by those same things.
Here's my rule of thumb: Dogs under the age of two years should be offered opportunities to play with other like-minded dogs, whether that's at daycare, the dog park, or during play dates. Owners of dogs over the age of two years should turn their focus to short play dates with known dog friends, outings such as hikes and walks together rather than focusing strictly on play, and most importantly, playing with their dogs themselves. Yep, I said it. Owners need to be playing with their dogs themselves, especially owners of dog over the age of two years. We've been coevolving with dogs for thousands of years, selecting for dogs who choose us over pretty much anything (or anyone) else. Your dogs want to play with YOU, so grab a ball, a tug toy, or a stuffed animal and get started! Again, you don't have to play for an hour, but you should be playing for at least 10 minutes a day with your dog. Play is fun for you both, enhances your bond, and keeps you engaged in the health and well-being of your dog.
I've had people tell me that their dogs only play for a few minutes with them before walking away and you know what? That's fine! There's no set hard and fast rule. It's play! It's supposed to be consensual and fun for all involved. This doesn't mean you stop playing with your dogs, it just means you keep trying to find a game that interests them for longer, or add in multiple, short play sessions during your day. Maybe they'd prefer hide-n-seek to tug-of-war. I feel like it's time for an example.
Desi was my sweet, senior collie who passed away late last year. He was never much for play with toys, even when he was a younger dog, but he'd get a wild hair every once in a while, strutting around with a toy in his mouth waiting for a human to try to get it or for Ozzie to give it a go. You know darn well that if I saw Desi with a toy in his mouth, tail up and wagging, I was in! And when he got older and really didn't care about toys we played a different game, one I like to call "doggie carwash." I'd encourage Desi to walk between my legs and I'd give him a good scritch and rub down as he did, wiggling him around. He'd wag his tail, turn around, and shove his way back through my legs for another pass. He'd do this a handful of times before wanting a few kisses and then happily taking a nap. That counted as play and I'm glad I never missed an opportunity to play this "game" with him. And the funny thing? Ozzie plays that same game with me now. I'm not sure if he's doing it because he thinks I miss it, because he misses seeing Desi do it, or if he just likes it as well now that he's a bit older. All I know is that Henley, my 9.5 month old puppy doesn't ask to play this game. He still likes to be chased by me or by Ozzie, and he loves to play with toys by himself, with me, and with Ozzie. He's still a puppy, so that's all age appropriate and appreciated around here for the levity he provides.
So, let's circle back to my client's dog. How are we resolving his issues at daycare? We are changing it up. He will only be going to daycare twice a week now instead of everyday. He'll be trying out smaller, calmer play groups where the dogs in the group just like to cruise around, sniff, and lay on the raised beds provided by the daycare for naps in the sunshine. He will be engaged by the staff who he loves to play with. And that dog who tried to urinate on him? The staff will be watching him closely and correcting and redirecting him so he learns what is acceptable and what is not. And my client will be playing more at home with her dog and setting up more regular playdates with her sister's dog as the two dogs love adventuring together and have never had one issue. She asked if I thought she should consider getting a second dog since her dog loves her sister's dog so much and I told her no way! Not unless she herself really wants a second dog. You see, I know her dog is sociable with other dogs, I could see that at daycare and I could see it in the videos of her dog playing with her sister's dog. But you know what I also saw? A dog who was hopelessly devoted to his owner and wanting to spend time with her. A better investment than a second dog was an investment in time with the dog she already has.
Well, I'll end this here as Henley has brought me a toy and Ozzie is barking to be included, so we're taking a break to play like the three goofballs we are. As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.
Tug-of-war time!
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