Why Is My Dog Such a Hater?

I get asked some version of this question all the time:  Why doesn't my dog like other dogs?  When I tell dog owners that it isn't a requirement that their dog actually like other dogs, they often act surprised.  I mean, aren't dogs supposed to socialize with other dogs and enjoy those experiences?  And the answer is no, not necessarily.  Just like some people are more sociable than others, the same goes for dogs.  But let's explore why that's the case, just a little bit deeper.

Ever notice that dogs, in general, seem to get along best with other dogs that look like them?  There's a reason for this.  Boxers like playing with other Boxers, Pit Bulls like playing with other Bully breeds, and Collies do indeed enjoy other Collies.  After spending several hours watching 65 collies run, play, and enjoy each other's company at a recent collie fun day event, I can certainly attest to that! The reason for this affiliation is simple: Familiar body language.  All dogs communicate using primarily body language and dogs who share similar morphologies (body shapes) have similar body language.  Thus, a Boxer with it's smushy face, short tail, and bouncy nature will best be understood by other Boxers who also have smushy faces, short tails, and bouncy dispositions.  Conversely, other dog breeds often find Boxers difficult to read; their smushy faces don't have as much expression, and those short tails also don't give as much information.  And for dogs who don't enjoy boisterous, bouncy play, a Boxer won't be an ideal companion.  Collies and other herding dogs like a good game of chase and use the ear position, tail carriage, and gait of their compatriots to determine who will be the chaser and who will be chased in their interactions.

And, yes, it is certainly true that in addition to body language, body size plays an important part in all of this.  It is often the case that little dogs, though playful, do not enjoy the same kind of rough and tumble play as a bully breed, or a game of chase like an Australian Shepherd, for example.  So, while a Pomeranian might want to play with a Toy Poodle, it's less likely to want to play with that Boxer or the German Shepherd. This doesn't mean your little dog can't be introduced to big dogs (and vice versa), it just means they are unlikely to be ideal playmates without a lot of supervision and management on your part.

So, what does this mean for your dog?  First and foremost take your cues from your dog.  Do they appear interested in other dogs?  Okay, then maybe they do want to socialize and now it's up to you to find appropriate playmates based on what I outlined above; look at their morphology, play style, and size to gauge who might be a good candidate for a playdate.  If your dog is uninterested in other dogs, OR appears fearful, aggressive, agitated, or overstimulated, they heed those cues and don't force interactions.  Dogs don't need to play with other dogs in order to be well-rounded, content canine companions. They do, however, need to be able to walk past other dogs without issue if you intend to walk them in areas populated by other dogs and their owners.

If you are having trouble walking your dog because they are fearful, aggressive, or overstimulated, take a minute to look at what triggers them.  Is it dogs bigger than them?  Smaller than them?  Dogs that stare or posture in a provoking way?  Dogs that bark or whine?  Dogs who are boisterous?  Once you know what triggers your individual dog, you'll have a better idea of how to avoid them. I've had clients tell me that their dogs are set off by every other dog, but that simply wasn't true.  What I observed were dogs triggered by specific body language cues and morphologies of other dogs.  The reason it seemed that their dogs were triggered by everything is that their owners kept exposing them repeatedly to triggers resulting in a situation where their dogs were so overwhelmed that the only way out of the situation was to behave in an over-the-top manner so that their owners would take them home.

If you know your dog is triggered by all that unsupervised, boisterous play at the dog park, then don't take them there.  In fact, time your walks in that area for when there are fewer dogs using the dog park, or even better, walk them somewhere else for a while.  The same goes for walking a different route if there are dogs behind fences who bark, posture, or stare at your dog when you walk by, and that's what triggers your dog. Walking at off peak times and off peak places can really help lessen your dog's anxiety about other dogs AND help them to reset, allowing you to work on strategies for making walking past other dogs on future walks a more attainable goal. 

If you need an easy refresher on dog body language, please revisit my blog on the subject.  For convenience, here's the link:

https://juliebondanimalbehaviorist.blogspot.com/2021/08/canine-body-language-part-1-basics.html

And if you'd like to pick up a great book on the subject, take a look at "Doggie Language: A Dog Lover's Guide to Understanding Your Best Friend," by Lili Chin.  It's a fabulous little book with wonderful, clear drawings and explanations on canine body language.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Just a gaggle of floofs (the smooths were all running the fence line when I took this photo!) enjoying each other's company.  Lots of good body language cues to look at here!