It's A Whole New World!

Did you just start singing that song from Aladdin?  LOL!  It was actually what went through my head when a client's husband expressed a bit of frustration with all the suggestions I was making regarding their new dog. Their veterinarian had sent them my way because it had been about fifteen years since this couple had had a dog and she thought they could benefit from a session with me in order to get this new dog off on the right paw, so to speak.

A lot has changed since this couple had their previous dog.  First of all, that dog was raised in a home with three, active kids!  Their kids are now grown and flown, so that's a big difference; this dog won't live in a home with kids day in and day out, but he will be exposed to babies and young children as their oldest has kids of his own. What else has changed?  This couple is now living in a condominium with a small backyard and an enclosed front porch; their previous dog lived with them in a large house with an enormous backyard. Add in that they used to free-feed their previous dog, rarely walked him, and he slept in their garage at night, and you have all the reasons why their veterinarian thought talking with me might be helpful!

As you all already know, I love science and I love good research.  In particular, I love all the research being done on pets and our relationship with our companion animals.  And, obviously, I like sharing this science-based approach with all of you and with my clients every day.  As I explained patiently to my client's husband, it's not about all the things we were doing wrong before, but about how what we know now enriches their lives and makes them happier! 

So, while I understand that their previous dog was rarely walked because he had a large yard to run around in every day, we now know that dogs don't reliably use their yards for exercise; most dogs patrol their yard, chase off intruders (squirrels!), and lay around, waiting for their humans to come outside too. And while a lot of people used to free-feed their dogs, we now know it's better for their digestion and for weight maintenance to eat two to three times a day. As for sleeping in the garage:  Research shows that dogs should sleep indoors with their people, whether that be in a crate, on a dog bed, or sharing the human's bed.  Keeping dogs, particularly single dogs, separated from the rest of the family is isolating and detrimental to the human-animal bond.

OK, let's circle back to the new clients.  I encouraged them to walk their new dog twice daily, allowing sniffing and exploring, as a way to build rapport.  I suggested keeping to a fairly set schedule for those walks, as well as meal times (twice daily), and play time.  Because this dog is just under a year of age, I also suggested scheduling some naps, in the crate which he loves, to make sure he's well-rested and less of a risk for mouthy behavior and the evening zoomies, two behaviors that were getting him sent to the garage. I gave them handling exercises to do to help build trust, and finally I gave them an entire list of interactive toys and puzzles to challenge this young dog's brain and address his need for mental exercise.  Toy rotation is also a must and having the right kinds of toys for an active chewer is also needed.  Hence my client's husband stating that dog ownership seems a lot harder than he remembers!  And you know what?  He's not wrong.

We now know more about how to raise and train well-adjusted dogs than we did even ten years ago.  And much of what we were taught in the 1960's an 1970's has been put to rest as outdated and often inappropriate and cruel with respect to dogs. Personally, I think that the fact that dogs have continued to love us and thrive despite our ample mistakes is just proof positive that they are the most forgiving of creatures.  While they can survive with very little, they do appreciate being given more and reward us with their faithful companionship until their last breath.  Do we deserve dogs?  Sometimes I do wonder.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Westley loves a good puzzle.  This is one that my two dogs don't actually enjoy as the pieces are small and their noses and paws are larger than Westley's! Puzzles like this one from Trixie Dog, are something that have become more popular for mental stimulation and enrichment, based on the results of solid research into what companion animals need to be happy.

Is My Dog Mad At Me?

I've been asked this question so many times, usually by an owner who has been growled at, snapped at, or even bitten by their dog. Most recently, I was asked this question by a dog owner who felt her dog was snubbing her after she picked him up from a week of boarding. Have you ever thought that your dog was mad at you for some reason?

First of all, let's clear the air.  Your dog isn't mad at you, at least not the way other humans might be mad at you for something you said or did.  Dogs don't hold grudges like people do; what they do is express their fear, anxiety, discomfort, or frustration through changes in their behavior.  Dogs use body language cues to let us know that they are upset with a situation, not that they are mad at us, per se. If a dog makes a negative association between a human and a stress-provoking event, they will alter their behavior in a way that decreases their proximity to that human while they wait for their anxiety to subside.  Let me give you an example.

Let's say that you are clipping your dog's toenails and accidentally cut one too short, causing the nail to bleed, your dog to yelp, and yank his foot away.  When you try to grab the foot to stop the bleeding, he whirls around quickly, bumping your hand away with his nose.  When you finally get a hold of the foot to stop the bleeding, your dog won't make eye contact with you, licking his lips, yawning, and quivering, even giving you a slight lip curl when you squeeze the paw to create pressure to stop the bleeding.  Your attempts to soothe your dog with words and strokes on the head go unheeded and the moment you release his foot, he moves away quickly, tail tucked, giving you some epic side-eye as he retreats to his bed to lick his foot.  Is he mad at you?  No.  He's experiencing physical discomfort and he associates that discomfort with you.  He ultimately moves away from you because he's made a negative association: Being near you and having his feet handled equals pain.

When something like this happens, I know your first response is to try to placate and soothe your dog, however, this is the wrong course of action to take. Instead, give your dog some space and time to soothe themselves.  Again, dogs don't hold grudges.  You can make amends with your dog once he's settled down and regrouped.  If you push it, you run the risk of an escalation with your dog lashing out or doing something completely out of character for them. Your dog will forgive you, it's just going to take some time for them to change that negative association that they've made. Depending on how negative that association is, you may need to use desensitization and counter-conditioning, with brief, innocuous exposures to what created that stress and anxiety in the first place.  And, most likely, copious amounts of high value treats!

Using our same nail trimming mishap example, you might give your dog treats while the nail clippers are nearby, then build up to handling the feet with those clippers nearby.  Over time, you increase the foot handling and bring the clippers closer.  You build up to making noise with the clippers, but not on his nails.  If your dog remains calm and open to taking treats, you ultimately build up to clipping one or two nails, giving him a handful of treats, and stopping there on a positive note. This process is slow going but necessary to change your dog's point of view and negative association between you and those nail clippers.

Now, let's circle back to my client who felt like her dog was snubbing her after a stay at a boarding facility. She described the behaviors she was seeing:  Gaze aversion, tail held low, moving away from her.  He didn't want to play, be near her on the couch, or even go for a walk. If she tried to pet him, he stiffened and turned away.  While he never growled or snapped, she felt like it could happen if she were to try to pick him up, something she was smart enough not to do. I've known this dog for quite a while and all of this behavior is very much out of character.  I advised the owner to first have her dog looked at by her veterinarian.  We needed to rule out pain as the reason for the change in his behavior. Perhaps he'd pulled a muscle or slipped a disc while running around at the boarding facility.  Sure, a trip to the vet could also lead to her dog snubbing her even more, but it was necessary to make sure there wasn't something physical going on here. Once her vet had ruled out pain, I came up with a plan to get my client back into her dog's good graces, so to speak.  Here's what I told her to do.

First, do a little bit of hand feeding of special treats (in her dog's case, this was rotisserie chicken) before feeding each meal.  Hand feeding brings a dog closer to the person, often with brief eye contact.  I told her to build up to brief petting with these treats after a few days.  She also sat nearby while he ate, but not making eye contact or trying to talk to him.  She was just to be close by, a comforting presence. After about three days, her dog was approaching her, head up and tail wagging for those extra treats.  At this point I advised her to try to play a little ball with him and take him for a brief walk at his favorite park for sniffs and snacks.  By day six, he was back to his usual self, going for walks, playing ball, and cuddling on the couch.  Whew!

So, if your dog is giving you the cold shoulder, avoiding contact, and ignoring you with very obvious selective hearing, sure, he's upset.  He might even engage in destructive behavior which you don't normally see.  Before you get frustrated and try to force an interaction, figure out why this is happening.  Did you leave your dog alone too long?  Did you miss a normal treat or meal time?  Did you behave in a clingy way with them that they don't typically enjoy? Or did you not love on them long enough? Did you bathe them?  Cut nails? Or take them to the vet's office?  Any one of these things could be the reason your dog is showing discomfort and aloof behavior around you.  Once you've figured out why, get creative in your strategies to build back their confidence in you, using all of the things they enjoy, to win them back.  They're not ignoring you to manipulate you.  They are ignoring you and avoiding you because you've somehow broken their trust.  You can definitely win it back if you are patient and observant of those body language cues.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Is he mad at me?  No, Henley isn't mad at me.  He's resigned to the fact that it's bath day.  When I tell him it's time for a bath, he doesn't retreat. He heads to the bathroom, all on his own, and jumps in the tub of his own volition.  I praise him every time he does this, and give him ample yummy treats for doing so.  He gets treats throughout the bath, and especially when I'm blow drying him.  Does he love baths and blow outs?  Absolutely not.  But he does tolerate them, participate in them of his own accord, and he is duly rewarded for his efforts.  He's never snubbed me in any way following a bath.  How did we get to this point? You guessed it.  Desensitization and counter conditioning starting when he was a puppy.  Thank goodness I did because Henley has serious allergies that require weekly, and sometimes biweekly baths. I can't imagine what this would be like if he didn't cooperate in his own skincare routine.

Today's the Day!

What began as a project to keep me occupied during the COVID-19 lock-down of 2020, turned into a labor of love that took almost five years to complete, but it's done!  My memoir is not only done, but it's being published by Barnes & Noble.  Today, March 12, 2025, is the official publish date and I couldn't be more excited, nervous, or hopeful than I am right now. 

To all of you who pre-ordered your copy, thank you for being as excited as me for the book's release!  For all of you who will order copies now for yourself, for a friend or family member, or for one of your pet-loving clients, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  While I originally thought of this book as just something to print out and share with my kids, it has now become something bigger: A chance for me to tell my story, share my journey, and hopefully make you laugh a little, maybe surprise you, and perhaps even shed a tear or two.  

I'm hoping to have a book signing (or two) in the near future here in the San Francisco Bay Area.  If you are interested in that, please let me know, and I'll add you to the list of folks to keep in the loop. I'm tickled pink that a handful of you have reached out for information on how to get a signed bookplate for your book!  I have the bookplates and will be writing personal messages on them and mailing them out soon. If you are someone who wants a signed bookplate, please let me know via email, k9freud@gmail.com, so I can collect your mailing information for the bookplate.

Anyway, to all of you who've been with me on this journey (and you definitely know who you are!), thank you thank you thank you for helping me to fulfill my dream of being someone who helps animals and their people.  I couldn't have done it without you. 

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me. Actually, I'll be here working on my next book!  It's a children's picture book featuring (what else would it feature?!) a collie!

If you'd like to order a copy, here's the link:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/k9freud-julie-bond/1147053202?ean=9798341883611

When Your Home Has Gone To The Dogs!

I know we've talked about multi-dog households before.  A multi-dog household is any home with more than one dog, so yes, even two dogs counts as a multi-dog home!  I say this because I had a client tell me she "only has two dogs" so she didn't think the rules and boundaries I was advising her to follow were applicable to her and her two canine family members, lol.  Comparatively speaking, one dog is easy, two is more than twice the work, and three or more can be a full-time job! Just last week, I spoke to a client who had six dogs, three of whom fought on a regular basis, and just couldn't seem to understand why I thought her home needed more structure! 

So, whether you have two dogs or twelve, rules and boundaries aren't just a suggestion but the keys to long-term success.  Just to clarify: I'm not talking about a dominance hierarchy here with one of your dogs as the "alpha."  Gosh, can I tell you how much I *hate* that terminology.  While the terms pack, pack mentality, pack hierarchy, alpha, beta, etc. have been bandied around for years, and consequently applied to dogs, this has done nothing but a disservice to dogs and their people. 

The term "alpha wolf" was coined in 1947 by Rudolf Schenkel, an animal behaviorist studying captive wolves in a zoo in Switzerland. The problem with this research lies in the fact that all of his results and nomenclature were based on a captive population.  This isn't the real world for wolves!  Wolves live in large family groups called packs, absolutely.  But there is no clear animal, male or female, who rules that pack in every situation. In fact, wolves divvy up all the tasks related to pack maintenance and productivity based on who has the skills to accomplish the job most efficiently. So, to say that wolf out in front of the pack "must be the alpha," acting as sentinel for the group as they move about, is inherently misleading. Oftentimes, the group leader on that jaunt may be out in front BUT the true leader/sentinel is that wolf at the back making sure everyone stays together and safe.  So, why am I telling you all of this?  Well, because anyone who tells you that one of your dogs is the alpha, or that you need to make one of your dogs the alpha, is someone whose knowledge is not only outdated, but invalid.  The dynamics in your multi-dog household are much more complex than that!

Let's clear the air here.  If anyone in your home is the "alpha," it's you, the human.  Period.  You have thumbs and can open cupboards, use a can opener, and pay for that Chewy delivery. Even still, I hate that term as it somehow implies that whoever is the designated alpha gets to make all the calls and that just isn't true. Packs are families first and foremost and we all know that family dynamics are fluid and ever-changing. Yes, you buy the dog food, but if your dog won't eat what you've purchased, who's really making the decision there? If, instead, you take your dog to the pet store and let him sample a couple of different food options before purchasing one, you are acting as a true pack/family; you are making the choices together that benefit you all as a group.  You don't spend money on stuff your dog won't eat and your dog gets to eat what tastes palatable to him.  That's a stable pack decision.

So, let's get back to those multi-dog households where there is discord beyond not liking the food they've been given! Dogs are competitive with each other for attention and for access to resources, meaning that they'll compete for your attention, but they'll also compete for beds, sofas, doorways, resting spots, places to poop and pee, and of course, toys, bones, and chews.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with competition as long as no one gets hurt and everyone has what they need to survive.  If your dogs push and shove to get you to pet them, for example, choose one dog to pet first, pet them as long as you like while ignoring whoever else is trying to push their way in.  This is important because if you try to be "fair," thinking "I've got two hand, one for each dog," you're actually wrong as you are helping build up resentment between your dogs!  Again, pet one dog, finish petting that dog, and move on to the next dog.  I like to step it up a bit and ask whoever is waiting for their turn for attention to sit while they wait.  This just looks so much more controlled than having dog number two (or three) dancing around in the background and/or circling the dog I'm petting first.  Bottom line?  My dogs know that pushing and shoving each other to get to my hands won't increase the likelihood that they are attended to first.  The dog waiting patiently, sitting and wagging their tail though?  Yeah, that dog is getting lovies first.  

When it comes to beds, toys, chews, etc. we all know it doesn't matter if you've got several beds, enough for every dog in your home to choose one to rest on, or enough bones so everyone has one exactly like their housemate's; each of your dogs is going to fervently desire whatever the other dog has. That's just the way it is.  Should you involve yourself in their jockeying for the "best bed," or the "perfect bone?"  Absolutely not.  You are Switzerland as far as your dogs are concerned UNLESS an actual fight breaks out.  You'll stop that and ALL parties should have consequences for not resolving their issues properly and without escalation. You see, dogs have a lot of body language and verbal communication that they can utilize to either gain that desired bed from another dog OR to hang onto the desired bed.  I've watched Ozzie issue a withering stare toward Henley for trying to get him to move off of a dog bed.  Henley will try play bows first, move on to barking, and often attempt to get Ozzie to move by offering him a toy.  If Ozzie wants to keep that spot on the bed, he does the stare, a low grumbling growl, and then turns in a circle on the bed, facing away from Henley.  Basically saying the bed is his and no amount of nonsense is getting him to move.  Henley is good about this.  He'll do a dramatic yawn and move to a different place to lay down.  But make no mistake; if Ozzie gets up off that bed for a drink of water, for example, Henley is on it in a heartbeat, claiming that warm spot Ozzie left behind. I've never seen Ozzie take offense at this at all.  If he's chosen to walk away, he doesn't care about it anymore.

So, what should you do if actual fights are breaking out between your dogs?  Get better control over those resources that they are squabbling over first and foremost.  If one dog is actively defending a sofa large enough for two dogs, then maybe the rule should be no dogs on the sofa at all since then can't share.  And it's definitely the case that furniture privileges should be removed from any dog who aggressively defends said furniture from the humans.  You bought the furniture, it's yours.  You get to choose who you share it with (or not).  If your dogs get into it over bones or chews, but you recognize that bones and chews are good mental and physical exercise for your dogs, then compromise.  Give your dogs their bones and chews in their crates, or at a minimum in separate rooms.  And if it's just one dog who is always picking the fight while everyone else can eat bones at the same time, no problem, then simply remove the aggressor.  They should eat their bone in their crate or another room and only be let out once the others have finished theirs in peace.  

And, remember, if you have to break up a fight, don't put one of your body parts between your dogs! Instead, keep some party air horns readily available and blast them to get them to break it up.  Some dogs might stop if you throw water on them, but I'm not a fan of the clean up that thrown water indoors creates!  If you've got two people breaking up a skirmish, you can each get behind a dog and grab their back legs, just above the hocks, and wheelbarrow them backwards.  They'll let go of each other as they'll be focused so much on walking on just their two front legs, giving you time to separate them safely.

You all know how much I love dogs, but I don't think I could have more than three dogs in my home at a time, and even three is a challenge for me long term.  I love having my granddog, Westley, come for a visit, but I also like it when he goes home and it's just my two, and our little established pack, in my house. My granddog is an "only child," so to speak, so he thinks everything is his.  When he stays  with me, he can be a bit demanding as he's used to getting everything first and having everything be his.  He shares nicely though and only gets a little bent out of shape with Henley when he tries to displace him from a bed or the couch.  I let them handle it themselves, however, as no one has ever drawn blood on another dog, but they sure as heck have made their point and Henley is a good listener!  He's not a beta, or a gamma, or whatever those old school folks are calling it.  He's family and family figures out a way to get along as that's what benefits everyone.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Gang's all here.  Nothing special about the order in which they are in standing.  They all went into the kitchen, with Henley in the lead, thus placing him at the rear when I walked in behind them. Does that make him the alpha and me the gamma?  Nope. It just means Henley gets there faster than the rest of us, but I'm the one with the thumbs to open the treat cupboard, which they all very clearly understand.