All My Friends Are Dogs...

Not really, though I do spend a lot of time with dogs and I definitely consider many of them to be my friends.  I do, however, still have human friends and human family members that I choose to spend time with, making me fortunate for sure. The importance of dogs in people's lives has changed quite a bit over the years.  Right now, half of all households here in the U.S. have a dog and 51% of those households say that their dog is just as much a family member as the humans are.  I most certainly fall into that 51% as I, too, believe that my dogs are beloved family members.  They are included in family activities and their comfort and enjoyment are considered when looking at everything from which coffee shop to frequent, to the hike we choose to take, and where we vacation.

Back in 2020, Mark Cushing wrote a book called "Pet Nation" which I found as fascinating as it was sobering. He proposed that the rise of the internet led to people being more profoundly lonely, thus pushing them to focus their attention more intensely on their pets, forcing those pets to fill roles previously held by other humans. I, myself, think that the pandemic lockdown is what really led to people loving their dogs so intensely; I believe that the pandemic and the way the government treated the populace during this period in our history, is what led to our disinterest with society as a whole and our distrust of other people.  We weren't so much lonely as we were disenchanted.

So, is our obsession with our dogs a displacement behavior on our part, a way of showing our discontent with other humans and society in general?  Personally, I believe that our relationship with our pets is often more rewarding than our relationships with other people.  I see this all the time with my clients: They tell me that they love their pet despite his/her (fill in the blank behavior problem) because said pet is less judgy, more supportive, and more unconditionally loving than the people in their lives.  This is actually born out by a 2025 study that found that people rated their pets as more supportive than the humans in their lives.  But is this putting too much pressure on our pets to fill our social needs?  Are we forcing them to try to fix problems that are simply beyond their capabilities?  Is that the real reason for the increase in pet behavior problems?

As our trust in other humans has declined, we avoid conversations with strangers and colleagues alike, fearing that they will go poorly, as we expect the worst, and this has put pressure on our pets to fill that void. We are all spending more time at home; we have streaming platforms for entertainment, no need to go to the movies. We can order food and groceries to be delivered, so no need to go out at all, especially if we work from home. And who's there with us?  Our pets. While it is certainly true that dog ownership can reduce some social pressures and help fight monotony in our daily lives as they encourage us to get up, get out, and get some exercise and fresh air, us expecting them to do so can actually hurt dogs.  Dogs who don't leave the house much because their humans are off at work, often suffer from boredom-related behavior problems.  Some of them are forced to be physically uncomfortable during the days when their humans are off at work and they can't get outside to relieve themselves or stretch their legs. I'm not saying this to make working pet owners feel guilty; I'm saying this so we all see the dark side to keeping our pets confined to our homes, anxiously awaiting our return, solely for our enjoyment.

Perhaps it's time we all rethink family life, work life, and you know what?  Society as a whole.  We need to make resources for quality of life more accessible to all.  I don't want a return to the 1950's.  On the contrary, the people I know who lived during that time period don't think it was all that great for the average American.  Rather, I think we need to make our future about supporting one another, developing meaningful and rewarding human relationships built on trust and mutual respect.  Those mutually beneficial human relationships free from judgment and characterized by unconditional love would take a lot of pressure off of our pets, allowing them to thrive too.  All I know is that we need to do something before the world as we know it is beyond repair and unsafe for anyone, including our beloved dogs.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Our current canine family members.