Helpful Strangers

So many of us were told as children not to talk to strangers.  We were also told to seek out the help of trustworthy adults, even though it was sometimes difficult to determine who was trustworthy and who should be avoided.  Nonetheless, we made it through childhood and some of us did indeed solicit the help of strangers.  The fact of the matter is that when it comes to dog ownership, strangers can be very helpful in your training journey. Let me explain.

Let's say you've got a new puppy that you need to socialize.  You'll certainly want to enlist the help of your friends and family in socializing your newest family member, but the bottom line is that your puppy needs to meet lots of different people.  They need to meet crying babies, screaming toddlers, teens on scooters and skateboards, seniors using walkers or wheelchairs, and people whose skin tone isn't the same as yours. I've had more than one client sheepishly tell me that they think their dog is racist.  Dogs aren't racist.  What happens is that if a dog isn't socialized to lots of different people, including people with skin that's lighter or darker than your own, then they will be wary when they first encounter them.  The same is true if you don't socialize your dog with kids; they'll be cautious or even nervous around children when they meet them. So, taking that puppy to puppy classes and puppy socials, bringing them with you to run errands, and even just sitting with them on your lap or in a stroller at a public park means they'll be exposed to a lot of new people (strangers) and understand that new people can be wonderful too.  And it's certainly not hard to get strangers to pet and engage a puppy, now is it?

So, what if you have an adult dog who is wary, fearful, or just lacking in good social skills?  You can still do all of the above, you're just going to do it more slowly, at a pace that feels comfortable for you particular dog. For example, if they are terrified of scooters and skateboards, then you most certainly aren't going to take them to sit outside of a skate park!  Instead, you might sit with them in your car or on a bench at a distance and watch kids on scooters, bikes, and skateboards as they leave school.  Or maybe you have to start even further back than that and just observe those things happening in your neighborhood or the sidewalk in front of your house from the safety of being indoors. Regardless, as your dog gains confidence, you will once again want to get out there in public spaces and solicit the help of strangers.  Ask that teen on the scooter if they'd like to pet your dog.  If they do, great!  Now your dog sees that scooters aren't always moving and that the people riding on them are just friends they haven't met yet.

I'm most certainly NOT advocating for taking a dog who is aggressive out in public and subjecting strangers to encounters with your dog that may not be safe.  If you have an aggressive dog, you'll still need to do some training in public spaces, but you'll want to discourage strangers from coming too close or directly engaging your dog.  You'll need to be proactive in what you say (firmly but kindly explain that your dog doesn't like new people, for example) and if you live in an area where close encounters can't be avoided, go ahead and muzzle train your dog. This will not only protect you from liability should someone get too close to your dog for their comfort, it also means that people can see that your dog is muzzled and will likely give you the space you need to keep your dog safe.  Hey, you know what?  Those strangers are still helping you train your dog. They're helping you by keeping their distance!

If you are encouraging strangers to interact with your dog, please make sure your dog is ready to meet that challenge. If they are still jumping up in excited greeting, stand on their leash. If they still snap at treats, show people how to toss them a treat instead.  Actively show people where your dog likes to be petted.  Most importantly, talk to that stranger so your dog not only sees that new people are interesting, he comes to understand that when you stop to talk to someone, they must remain calmly at your side or at your feet.  This clearly takes practice and I've found that most strangers in public parks, for example, are more than happy to help.  Obviously, you can't just walk up to people's children without getting labeled as a weirdo, so ask parents if their kids would like to meet your dog, or simply wait for the kids to approach and remind them to check with their parents first.  This helps kids see who those helpful adults are too.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

When Henley was a puppy, I took him everywhere with me that I could. I would carry him in my arms or in a bag, letting his head poke out for people to see him and ask to pet him.  Anyone who wanted to hold him could, so he got passed around, hugged, squeezed, and loved on.  This established for him that strangers were good, whether those strangers were young or old, quiet or loud, and skin color made no difference.  Henley loves everyone clearly believing that anyone he sees is a friend to be greeted with a happy tail wag.