It Isn't Easy, But It's Worth It

I had a productive conversation this week with a young, cat owner.  She just got out of college and has started a new job here in the Bay Area.  She's living in an apartment that allows pets, so she decided to get a cat because she felt that they were easier than dogs and would better suit her busy lifestyle right now.  She opted to get an adolescent cat (he's about a year old), rather than a kitten, thinking that the adolescent cat would be less work than a kitten. She was quite surprised to find that after just a month of them living together, she's at her wit's end! Not only is owning a cat not as easy as she'd thought, but it's become a second, full-time job, in her opinion.  She contacted her veterinarian because she thought that maybe there was something wrong with her cat (her exact words were that she wanted to rule out ADHD!).  Her veterinarian found nothing wrong with the cat and sent her my way.

First off, it does such a disservice to cats to think of them as being easier, or needing less care, than dogs.  Any kind of pet needs care; cats actually require a lot of the same things a dog does. Cats require food, shelter, play, mental stimulation, physical exercise, and attention from their humans, just like a dog. While cats don't necessarily require walks on leash outdoors or obedience training, they do require places to hide, ledges and shelves to jump and climb on, and surfaces to scratch/claw and mark. One simple cat tree won't be enough for most cats, just as one ball or one toy won't be enough for most dogs. So, both require quite a bit, it's just that what they specifically require isn't completely the same.

While I agree that an older pet can be a bit easier that a kitten or puppy, they aren't "wash and wear." Adolescent dogs and cats are still quite active and engaging, requiring a lot of input from us, their caretakers, to thrive. Senior pets are probably the easiest from an exercise/interaction standpoint, but owning a senior pet has its own challenges including the costs associated with  increased medical care. 

I like to think of owning a pet similar to the way I viewed becoming a parent. I knew there would be challenges and sacrifices, but I also knew that I had a lot of room in my heart and quite a bit of patience to spare! Parenthood is never easy and neither is pet ownership.  That's what it means to build a family, in my opinion.  Expecting either parenthood or pet ownership to be a breeze, and then getting frustrated when your expectations for bliss aren't met on a daily basis, does a disservice to the kids and the pets in your life.

I'm going to sound like an old person now, which I guess as a card-carrying member of Gen X, I am. Social media has made parenthood and pet guardianship seem like it's all wine and roses.  A lot of folks have a hard time remembering that their social media feeds are curated, both by the algorithms of the platforms they are patronizing, but also by the people they follow on those sites.  The number of takes needed to get that photo of the dog blissfully rocking in the hammock with his owner at sunset is a lot more than one, just as the video of the kids all sitting quietly at the breakfast table doing art projects took more than one take. Parenthood and pet ownership are messy jobs, filled with ups and downs.  Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't look picture-perfect every day.  Anyone expecting perfection is headed for disappointment given that perfection is a mountain without a peak, right?  Enjoy the journey.

Okay, back to my cat client.  I explained to her what this young cat needed to thrive so that she could decide if she was the right person to be caring for him. We talked about how she could better incorporate his needs into her schedule.  It would require a bit more flexibility on her part, but the payoff was that she would have this lovely animal companion to come home to. And if she didn't think she could make those accommodations, that was okay too.  She should just return the cat to the rescue group and let them know he was a great cat, she just wasn't ready for that level of responsibility.

It's funny.  Her mom really loves this cat and when I suggested that maybe her mom might like to take him if she couldn't keep him, she seemed surprised that I'd suggest that as an option.  I told her my goal is to help this cat find a good match, a home where he can thrive.  If it isn't her home, that's totally fine, but maybe her mom would be a good fit.  And that would mean this young woman would get the best of both worlds; a reliable home environment for him AND the ability to still see him and interact with him without the day to day responsibility for his care. It was an option she hadn't considered, but is worth considering more seriously.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

This was Henley at nine weeks of age.  He was mouthy (as you can see), feisty, wiggly, and opinionated.  He gave us all a run for our money keeping him occupied, mentally stimulated, exercised, and well-rested on a daily basis.  He fought the leash, the toothbrush, the nail dremmel, and nap times.  And yet, two years later, he is, quite simply, the most delightfully chill companion animal.  He works with me, helping clients and their dogs. He does school presentations and special events.  He runs with me a couple of times a week.  He sleeps right next to me on my bed every night.  He was a lot of work, but worth it all. Puppies (and kittens) aren't for everyone. In fact, dogs and cats aren't for everyone. But then again, neither are children.  It's about choices, being flexible, and making some sacrifices.  You get to decide if it works for you!