Why Can't We Be Friends?

I just met yesterday with a lovely young couple who recently moved to San Francisco from the Midwest.  They had chosen San Francisco because they had read online about it being one of the most dog-friendly cities in California and they were eager to be able to take their adolescent Boston Terrier more places with them.  They were also hoping that they'd be able to find him a few playmates, whose owners they might like too, since they don't really know many people here yet other than their coworkers, and those are all virtual! So far, however, it's been a total bust; either their dog didn't like the other dogs they've met, or my clients didn't like the dogs' humans!  They'd met with their new veterinarian to update their dog's vaccines and that's how they'd heard about me and reached out for help.

This was such an interesting appointment!  I wasn't there because their dog had any specific behavioral issues; he didn't even really have any training issues.  I was there to help this couple and their dog find some social opportunities here in the Bay Area that would get them off to a great start.

We took their dog for a walk so I could observe him (and them) out in public.  I made suggestions about where to walk and explore, including places other clients regularly use and love like Fort Funston, Strawberry Hill, the Presidio, and Dolores Park. I did tell them that they would need to visit these places several times, and on different days, to get a feel for the areas and the dog owners that use them.  While Fort Funston is an off leash dog haven, dogs are primarily on leash at Strawberry Hill and Dolores Park.  I told them that they should really think about their ultimate goal; was it truly to find their dog a dog friend, or was it for them to find like-minded, dog-owning humans to hang out with? These are not necessarily the same thing.  They could send their dog to doggie daycare to make friends and socialize with other dogs, BUT if they really wanted to make friends themselves, then they were going to have to get out a lot more than they've been doing.  On a recommendation from my daughter, I even suggested that they try online groups like MeetUp and Bumble BFF to find couple friends with similar interests.  They'd never even thought of that!

I agree that it can be harder to make new friends when you first move to a new area, but while it may seem overwhelming, it's really not.  You just have to put yourself out there and be okay with not every connection working out.  Finally, I suggested they consider volunteering with Furry Friends, the pet assisted therapy group I work with, given that they are both very interested in volunteerism AND their dog loves meeting new people.  Through an organization like Furry Friends, I know this couple will definitely connect with other like-minded dog owners, including many who live outside of San Francisco, thus expanding where they cast their net for new friends and new connections.

We can't make our dogs like certain other dogs, or even certain people.  And our dogs may like people or other dogs that we ourselves don't.  That's just how it works!  You can't force a dog to like who you like, though you can hedge your bets by including good treats and a lot of positive reinforcement on those first meetings in the hopes of making a great first impression.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

My daughter met a lot of like minded dog owners hiking in Los Angeles County when she lived there.  Ozzie and I often joined her and Westley on their hikes which were quite enjoyable, except for the mud.  Rough collies definitely get dirtier than smooths as this photo aptly proves!

If You Just Need a Plan!

I worked with a wonderful client over the weekend who told me that she just needed a training plan for her new dog.  She likened it to the workout program her personal trainer gave her for getting back into shape. She said what she really wanted, and hoped I could provide, was a simple outline of what she should be doing everyday with her dog to make sure he was headed in the right direction.  She indicated, too, that she'd tried to find simple guidelines like this online, but ended up down a rabbit hole of suggestions and exercises, some of which she was pretty sure weren't good for her dog! So, when I told her she really just needed to put in about 5-10 minutes a day to reach her goals for her dog, she was ecstatic!  This was something she could commit to and she took out a notebook to write down the plan.  Here's what I told her:

1.  Work everyday on the important behaviors you need your dog to reliably do.  Run through them quickly and efficiently, kind of like stretching before you go for a run.  Then spend the remainder of your training with your dog working on a new/fun skill/behavior.

2.  The basic behaviors I think every dog should be able to do reliably:  sit, down, stay, stand, come, drop it, leave it, and walk nicely on leash.  My client's dog had reliable sits and downs, but that was about it.  So, we worked together on luring him into the other behaviors.  I showed her how to turn leave it and drop it into a game so her dog would be more likely to comply rather than resist giving up treasured things he finds.  And for the loose leash walking, I told her to work indoors, sans leash, luring her dog using treats and her voice FIRST, before moving outdoors with a leash and trying the same techniques.

3.  The list of behaviors I gave her for adding in fun/new skills:  touch, bow, turn, through, back it up, sit up, dance, spin, speak, whisper, flop, and roll over. I then had Henley demonstrate each of those skills for her!  He did each skill twice, once for her to observe, and once for her to see how I got the behavior in the first place.  

4.  Don't get frustrated!  Rome wasn't built in a day, as my grandmother used to say.  It might take her dog weeks to get through just the basics and that's absolutely okay!  But, even if he's still struggling with the basics, she should introduce something new and fun every day to try, learning how to keep his brain engaged and keep herself motivated.

5.  Always end on a positive note.  Regardless of how that 5-10 minute session went, always end the session with something easy or fun that your dog will be 100% successful doing, even if it's "just a sit."  Because, you know what?  A dog who can sit still, even for just a few seconds, has potential and that should be rewarded and celebrated!

We will be meeting again in two weeks to check her progress.  She referred to that as accountability for herself!  In the meantime, she's going to send me video progress reports which should be fun for us both.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

I simply could not resist sharing this picture of my granddog, Westley!  

My daughter taught him to do "junkyard dog face!" This trick is hysterical.  When I've tried it with Henley, he just ends up yawning or sneezing!

An Ode To Those Gutted Stuffy-Fluffies!

I know Henley is not the only dog out there who can gut a toy in two minutes flat. I mean completely wreck it, stuffing all over the place and giant holes where those cute stuffed limbs used to be.  Even toys labeled "indestructible" are no match for Henley; they will have a chunk taken out of them in seconds. He is a dog with a singular purpose, gut the toy and call it a win.  I just roll my eyes, pick up the pieces and move on, but I've started thinking about this a bit differently recently, mostly because he's the first dog I've ever had (and I've had a LOT of dogs) who was this single-minded with toys.

How about if we look at this as a necessary behavior?  Dogs are animals and animals, by their very nature, must hunt and kill to survive.  Now, dogs have been domesticated for over 30,000 years, but who's to say that predatory drive isn't still there?  Maybe it's just the case that some of our dogs have more of a predatory drive than others, and while they may exercise that drive by chasing squirrels, birds, and neighborhood cats (Henley does that too!), some also direct that prey drive at their toys.

If you watch a dog taking apart a toy, and believe you me, I've had a lot of opportunities to do so with Henley, there is a method to his destruction.  He is focused, toy poised between his front paws, or pinned to the floor with one paw, as he snaps at it, shakes it, and rips his first hole. Once that first hole is made, he often moves to a new place, laying down to get a better angle, as he starts pulling out the stuffing, literally dissecting it. Now, fortunately for me, he's never eaten any stuffing, squeakers, etc.  He just leaves those spoils for me to clean up, which I do promptly.  Once a toy is gutted, he's done with it.  He might return to it later to see if he can pull it apart some more, but for the most part, once it's gutted, he just carries around the empty carcass until something new catches his eye. Or he nods off.

I'm now starting to think of Henley as a captive animal, not just my beloved pet dog.  I wouldn't give a second thought to a captive wolf tearing apart a carcass!  But Henley is stuck in my house with me (and Ozzie), and his toys are his outlet for this very natural, normal behavior. He is genetically wired for this, as he's been doing it since we brought him home.  What does it mean for me long term? It means I buy a lot of toys for Henley, varying the texture, durability (I hope), and size to keep his interest.  If a toy is able to be repaired, I re-stuff it, sew it up, and put it back into the rotation. If it's beyond repair, I toss it.  And the best part of all of this is that this dog has NEVER chewed up anything that wasn't one of his toys; he's never touched a blanket, pillow, cushion, chair, etc.  Not once.  All of his predatory drive and chewing behavior has been directly appropriately to the toys that are his.  I'm actually quite proud of him for that, and frankly relieved, as were he chewing my stuff, it would be a lot more expensive to replace!

So, if you, too, have a dog who likes to dissect toys, try thinking of it as a natural part of the predatory sequence and part of life as a captive animal. It's our responsibility to keep our dogs entertained with appropriate outlets for their mental and physical exercise.  Finally, if any of you have durable toy recommendations, Henley and I are all ears.  Well, he's all ears, but I'm listening too!

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

I also buy Henley lots of hard, ridged, flavored, bone-type toys to chew on.  He loves these and I find them in every room, especially when I step on them in the middle of the night!