You Are Not Alone

I met with a new client last week who gave me a big hug at the end of our appointment as she told me, "Thank you for helping us.  I feel so much better knowing we aren't the only family having these problems with our dog." Her comment really struck me as she truly felt like they must be the only ones. When she looked at the other dogs in her neighborhood, all she saw were "perfect" dogs and "happy" owners, she didn't feel like she should be taking her dog outside of her house and subject herself (and her dog) to their scrutiny. The funniest/not really funny part of all of this is the fact that she got my contact information from one of her neighbors.  She didn't think to ask why that neighbor had met with me! If she had, she'd have found out that it took a lot of work to get that neighbor's dog to the point where she could walk with him in public spaces without him barking, twirling, and grabbing her arm when he panicks!  I've actually worked with three dog owners in that same neighborhood, so I know that while those other dogs appear "perfect" and the owners appear "happy," there was a great deal of work that went into getting there. I couldn't, of course, tell my new client these things, but, what I could tell her is this:

You are definitely not alone.  Research published back in late 2023 found that 1/3 of the dogs in the study had behavior problems, as reported by the owners, and this was not at all representative of what was found in the veterinary records for those same dogs.  The bottom line:  there were a lot of dogs with behavior problems (the most common being noise sensitivities and fear and not listening to the owners) and those problems were not being shared with the pets' veterinarians.  Yes, pet owners should report behavior problems to their veterinarians as that's your first step in getting the right help for your pet.  But even more importantly, does your veterinarian show an interest in your pet's behavior, outside of what they see during your veterinary visits?  Do they ask you questions about your pet's behavior?  If they don't, they really should, as there needs to be less stigma associated with reporting behavior problems AND veterinarians need to provide a safe space to discuss those issues in behavior that effect that pet's quality of life and that of their owners.  There IS a strong connection between physical and mental health that needs to be recognized across the board.

A pet's behavior problems, regardless of their severity, should never deter an owner from seeking help and guidance.  For many of my clients, there is (unwarranted) guilt about the problems they are experiencing, leading them to seek answers in less reputable, but nonetheless anonymous, places on the internet.  While the world wide web can be amazingly helpful in many cases, treating behavior problems in pets using the internet is a black hole of misinformation.  There are great places to find reliable information on animal behavior, but those sites seem to be underutilized, with dog owners, in particular, gravitating toward the loudest voices claiming quick fixes and guaranteed results.  This mindset leads to disappointment at best, and to detrimental methodologies being foisted on dogs at worst. I realize it's human nature to seek out a "quick solution," otherwise why would there be all those ads on social media for losing weight, making money from home, and getting in shape without working out?  But quick solutions aren't always the best ones, that is the ones that result in real changes in your pet's behavior and their mindset, without damaging their relationship with you.

Here's the way I look at it:  It doesn't matter if your dog "just jumps on people," "just barks at the window," "just pulls on leash," OR "doesn't come when called," "won't drop things when asked," etc.  Those are all issues in behavior that a qualified professional can help you with!  Start with your veterinarian as they can help guide you to the right professional for the job.  A qualified dog trainer may be recommended, or someone like me, a true, certified animal behaviorist.  Either way, your vet is in the loop on the issues that you are having, and they are guiding you directly, no need to do an internet search and get lost in that black hole of dog behavior.  One of the main reasons I started writing this weekly blog was so pet owners would have a reputable online resource they could use when trying to figure out what to do for their pets.  And if they needed more help beyond the blog, they'd know who to ask.  There are even pet owners following my blog who don't have current issues with their pets and credit ideas they picked up from my blog for helping their pets stay mentally happy and healthy, and I love that!

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

This is my dog friend, Millie. We've worked together since she was a pup, and we are all grateful for those lessons as she is now just under 130 lbs and many issues commonly faced by dog owners (pulling on leash, jumping up, etc.) would be just that much more risky when you are talking about a large breed dog like Miss Mille.  And, yes, she's a Newfoundland!