Grief Is Complicated

One of my clients just recently lost her dog.  While feeling blessed at the extra months she had with her dog (the dog had responded well to chemo), she was feeling raw, devastated, and fraught with despair now that her beloved dog had passed.  I truly felt her pain.

I hate platitudes. Don't tell me, "it's just a dog." Or "you'll feel better soon." Or "Just get another dog. They will keep you busy and your mind will move on." Or any of the other million, un-helpful things people tell you when you lose a dog.  As is true for many of my clients, my dogs are beloved family members and their passing is grieved like the loss of any two-legged family member.

So what did I do when she called me? I cried with her.  We talked about how wonderful her dog had been and how truly fortunate she was to have this dog in her life for so long.  We talked about heart dogs.  And most importantly, I just listened.  She needed to be heard and I most certainly can listen.

I know another dog will be in her future.  She is a "dog person." When that will happen, though, isn't something we can speculate on and I gave her "permission" to wait however long that takes.  Grief is complicated; it's ugly and messy.  Some of us grieve loudly while others grieve in silence. But you have to grieve before you can ever consider opening up your heart and home to another dog.

It really is their only fault. Dogs just don't live long enough.

I still miss this sweet girl. Pearl you will live in our hearts forever.