Reality vs Social Media

I had a first appointment with a lovely new client and her Labrador mix this past weekend. She had a list of 12 things she wanted to address during our appointment and she sent me the list in advance which I greatly appreciated as it let me know how to help her get the most out of our time together. She did, however, end her list with a statement I found concerning.  She said, "I'm sorry this list is so long. I really am a good pet parent.  I hope you don't think I'm not taking good care of my sweet dog."  This really floored me for a couple of reasons.  First off, I don't judge the pet owners seeking my help.  It doesn't really matter how long it took for you to get to me; it just matters that you did and that you are ready for my help. It's interesting though. The more I thought about what she said, the more I realized that while I have had numerous female clients express some sort of apology for the state of their dog or cat's behavior, I don't think I've ever had a male client apologize for a pet. Ever.  When I brought this up to another business woman I know she said the same thing.  Women are constantly apologizing for everything, men, not so much.  We decided it was some sort of societal construct where women feel they need to explain or apologize anytime things go south.  Nonetheless, I told the client she had nothing to apologize for and that I was happy to be meeting her and her dog and working together to improve their relationship.

Funny thing was, she said something else at the end of our appointment that also struck me.  She said, "I'll bet your animals are perfect!  They probably do everything you say and you never have to repeat yourself or feel frustrated."  I literally burst out laughing!  As any of you who know me at all know, I'm all about transparency with regard to my dogs.  I have shared the ups and downs of all of my dogs' behavior in an effort to help people better understand their own dogs, but also to show that behavior issues can arise in ANYONE'S pets, including my own.  My dogs are separate beings from me.  I know I'm not perfect, and I certainly don't expect them to be either.  They aren't robots; they are living creatures with minds (and motivations) of their own which don't always sync perfectly with mine and that's okay.  We work on building relationships with our pets every day.  Rather than working toward perfection, I like to think we are all working toward symbiosis.  Sharing your world with pets means being willing to compromise and allow them to be individuals.  This doesn't mean letting them do whatever they want, it just means letting them be themselves while also being appropriately behaved members of their own species. I told my client that she definitely needed to follow my blog  and social media posts for more stories on the animals I share my home with and the reality of my life as an animal behaviorist.  I then told her that while some folks on social media only like to present themselves in the most positive light at all times, I myself embrace my faults, my scars, and my shortcomings. I'm human too and my pets are certainly not immune to behavior problems.  I like to think that they're just lucky to have me around to help them move through those issues and on to better things.  Basically, the same service I provide to my clients. No judging, just helping.  No need to apologize for your pet's behavior problem, let's just work on it so you can enjoy each other.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Ozzie and I are both works in progress, but we share a love of many of the same things: beaches, snacks, music in the car, and family.