I Know It's Hard!

I had a new client reach out for help on a referral from her sister-in-law. She's in her early 70's and in good health, but really questioning her recent decision to get a puppy. She's always had dogs and always had big dogs, but this particular puppy is giving her a run for her money! Between the bruises and marks on her arms and legs from his relentless mouthing, to the scratches from him jumping up on her, she's feeling overwhelmed and defeated.  She'd recently fallen when she'd had him out for a walk and he took off after a squirrel, dragging her by the leash behind him. She called me because she was frustrated and thinking about sending this puppy back to the breeder, but wanted my thoughts before she did that. I'm really glad she called!

Let's start with her age. Just because she's in her 70's doesn't mean she shouldn't have a dog; it also doesn't mean she shouldn't have a big dog.  First and foremost, making that decision is about what you prefer and what your dog experience entails.  Small breed dogs can be just as mouthy and jumpy as large breed dogs, and any dog can pull you over if they take off after a squirrel or cat.  What it's really about is the resources you have available to you for dealing with these common, but nonetheless annoying, issues.  I suggested that this client work with a really good dog trainer I know to get a handle on the basic behavioral challenges she's facing. I like to refer clients to this trainer because she will send them back to me if the issues aren't actually training issues, but rooted in anxiety and thus true behavior problems, warranting me stepping back into the picture.  I also suggested that she hire a dog walker, one that she can walk with and learn from.  Professional dog walkers are invaluable in helping people learn how to safely walk dogs.  Walking with a dog walker means this client can still get that exercise she'd hoped for and spend time with her puppy without worrying about him pulling her over as he's continuing to improve his leash skills. Ultimately, she decided she wanted me to come out and assess her puppy to make sure that she was indeed dealing with annoying training issues and not behavior problems rooted in anxiety or a personality mismatch between her and her new puppy, something I'm happy to do.  If this is a mismatch, or this puppy does have anxiety-based issues, sending him back to the breeder may not be a bad choice.  The breeder she chose is wonderful and willing to take this puppy back if this isn't the best home for him, so she really is fortunate. Not all breeders are as engaged with their puppies post-placement as her breeder truly is.

I think this client has been feeling judged by her family, by her neighbors, and by her friends.  She's filled with self-doubt and guilt about getting a puppy "at her age."  I tried really hard not to get inordinately irritated with this.  Here's what I think:  If you want a dog, have the time to devote to a dog's training and daily exercise, and can afford to care for a dog, then you should get a dog. This woman has the time, experience, and means to support a dog.  She's a solid home for a dog and while it's true that an older puppy or young adult dog might have been easier for her to handle, she wanted to raise a puppy again and I don't fault her for that. Puppies are a lot of work, but watching them grow up and mature is a delight and as she pointed out, she's got nothing but time to spend working with him.

Let's all try to be a bit more supportive of each other.  If you see another dog owner struggling with their companion, don't be too quick to judge them harshly as being a "bad owner" or "not taking the time to train their dog."  You are only observing a small snippet of their experience together, perhaps seeing a dog reacting to other dogs on leash.  This leash reactivity is just that, they might have the calmest most satisfying relationship at home, off the leash where there are no other dogs or people to trigger their dog's anxiety.  As my daughter would say, dog owners need to stay in their own lane. LOL.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Dogs can bring joy to owners of all ages!