Tantrums: They Aren't Just for Toddlers!

I worked with a client last week who was at the end of her proverbial rope.  She had been patiently (sort of) waiting for her 70 lb. dog to move from adolescence to adulthood.  She figured if she could just get him to the age of 2 years, she'd be working with a calm, rational dog, willing to do what she asked him to do.  She has plans for this dog, wanting to do competitive obedience and agility, and maybe rally as well. She's always done activities like this with her dogs and it's actually how we met 10 years ago with her previous dog, an always compliant gentleman.  Her new dog?  Same breed, same breeder, in fact, but he's far from compliant.  He's "hell on wheels," as my grandmother would say.  He really does seem to relish challenging his owner (and me).  Any time he doesn't get his way, he resorts to throwing a tantrum.  Yes, a tantrum, much like an over-tired toddler in the grocery store, only he weighs 70 lbs.!  He spins and jumps, vaulting off of my client, trying to grab the leash out of her hands, grabbing anything he can find on the ground, and then eventually flopping into a down and refusing to move.  This happens in many different situations, including right in the middle of the street if he decides he doesn't want to go the direction she's leading him.  Fun times. He's, quite literally, stopped traffic in their neighborhood.  My client is mortified by her dog's behavior and frustrated that he's not grown out of this; he's been having these exact same tantrums since he was a puppy, they are just more dramatic (and dangerous) now. 

Just as with a human child having a tantrum, you can't give in to them, and you can't give them attention for the behavior. As frustrating as it is, you have to shut down and ignore your dog throwing a tantrum because giving them any kind of attention for it just encourages them to use this strategy again.  In order to keep my client safe, I've asked her to stand on her dog's leash so he can't jump on her and/or grab the leash from her hands.  Standing on the leash forces him into a sit or down, given his size.  I've encouraged her to talk to people passing by her, or bring out her phone and pretend to look at something on it.  Basically, she ignores her dog until he lets up on his behavior and begins to move out of the tantrum.  For her dog, this usually means that he gives a big "harumph," a dramatic yawn, and then he'll try to get her to look at him.  Once he does this, she unceremoniously picks up his leash and starts walking the direction she wanted to go in the first place.  His current record is three tantrums in one block, but since that day, his tantrums have become less frequent overall, shorter in duration, and not so many in a row.  That's progress. He's still throwing tantrums, but we are making headway.  So why is he doing this in the first place?

This is a very headstrong dog.  He knows he's big and he's figured out that he's stronger than his owner, though honestly, I've seen him do the same behavior with her husband who is a whopping 6 foot 4 inch man who used to play football for Stanford! No dog likes to have their goals thwarted, but some are more likely to react negatively than to capitulate and do what their owners ask of them.  For this particular dog, I could pretty much pinpoint where it all began.  His first tantrum was at a class meant to prepare dogs for competitive obedience.  He balked getting out of the car there and shut down during much of the class. The instructor dragged him out of the car and pushed the owner to do the exercises in class saying that he'd "get the hang of it if she just kept at it." Well, not only did he not get the hang of it, he outright hated that class, those exercises, and that instructor.  Again, I understand that dog owners have every right to choose the classes, sports, and activities that they are interested in doing with their dogs.  If your dog resists those activities, however, is afraid or overwhelmed, or shows a lack of interest, you need to take a look at whether there is something that you (and they!) would enjoy more.  I'm not saying give in to your dog, I'm just saying choose something you both can enjoy.  And it may even be the case that they will enjoy that original activity, you just need to stop for a bit, let them mature or even find a new class/new instructor and start again.

As you've probably figured out if you've read along this far, tantrums are all about control AND about anxiety.  You have to keep yourself under threshold as well as your dog.  You can't push them too hard or they'll shut down/resist.  What you can do is work on your own behavior; stay calm, resist the urge to yell or punish them, and show them that all that drama isn't going to get them what they want.  I've got another session with my client next week.  We're meeting at a new class setting, this time it's introductory agility with a different instructor, so we'll see how it goes.  I've done some parkour with this dog, just for fun, so I think he'll really enjoy agility.  Fingers crossed that we can find an activity he enjoys and that his owner enjoys as well.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me. 

Ozzie has been known to throw a tantrum or two in his life.  For him, these episodes were clearly associated with anxiety.  He felt overwhelmed and couldn't fathom moving past what bothered him. If I tried to move him through it, he'd resist and throw a tantrum, jumping, spinning, and trying to bolt.  Over time, we worked through this and he now knows how to ask for needed space when he's anxious, versus throwing a tantrum.