I had a client burst into tears this week. Not because of something I'd said (thank goodness!), but something her neighbor had said to her about her dog. You see, my client's dog barks. He barks at squirrels on the fence, people who walk past the house, and anytime someone rings the doorbell. Truly, all normal and understandable reasons to bark, from a dog's point of view. So what's the problem? My client's neighbor is retired and home all the time. She isn't a dog lover (her own words) and she thinks dogs shouldn't bark. This neighbor is making my client's life hellish with her less than helpful comments and outright malice toward the dog in question. My client was actually thinking of moving, it's gotten that contentious. Luckily, my client's sister had worked with me a few years ago to help with her barking dog, so she recommended that I get involved.
Dogs bark. This is a suburban neighborhood where it is considered normal and acceptable for dogs to bark between the hours of 8 am and 8 pm, as long as those dogs are not barking for more than 15 minutes straight. I know all of this because I looked it up. We set up cameras so that we could watch and listen to my client's dog throughout the day. We wanted to make sure that the dog wasn't experiencing separation anxiety or some other stressor that was causing him to bark unnecessarily. We also wanted to be able to figure out exactly how much barking he was actually doing while my client is at work. We discovered that her dog barks when he hears delivery trucks passing the house, solicitors ringing the doorbell, and when he sees/chases squirrels and birds in the yard. He never barked for more than a minute and a half at any point. And that bark that lasted a minute and a half? That was directed at the shared fence with the retired neighbor who was literally standing at her side of the fence yelling at the dog and banging on the fence! My client was floored to discover that her neighbor was actually part of the problem. We are hanging on to all of this video footage in case my client needs it later. In the meantime, I suggested blocking off that section of her yard so that the dog can't approach that shared portion of fence. I also suggested putting up a security light that shines right at that area of the fence so when her neighbor approaches it to tease the dog, she gets hit with a spotlight or motion activated sprinklers that shoot in that direction. Just as we need to keep the dog away from the fence, we also need the neighbor to get out of the bushes there and quit teasing the dog. We also added in some fun interactive feeding toys on timers which is helping to keep this young dog active, engaged, and wanting to stay indoors more. Finally, we worked on what to do when he barks when she's home so that we make sure he understands how long and when it's okay to bark.
This is not the first client I've worked with who's been harassed by a neighbor, family member, or friend with regard to a pet's behavior. Advice is one of those things that shouldn't be given unless you've been asked for it. Telling someone that they "should" or "need" to fix a behavior problem their pet is experiencing isn't helpful; they know there's a problem and being told again is not helpful. If they ask for advice or help, by all means make some suggestions, just make sure those suggestions are based on scientifically supported methods, that don't focus on punishment or punitive solutions, and that are kind to the human and the pet involved. And finally, don't make hurtful statements like "no one is going to want to come over here unless you..." Guilting someone into getting help never works.
I know I've said it a million times, but we really do need to be kind to one another. Just because you don't like dogs (or a certain breed of dog) doesn't give you carte blanche to take jabs at your neighbor who does. Don't like the neighbor's cat coming into your yard and using it as a litterbox? Don't run around bashing that neighbor to the other neighbors, or worse yet, take it out on the cat. Instead, approach the cat's owner directly. Tell them what their cat is doing and give them the opportunity to correct the problem. No need to be mean or derogatory about the cat; it's the toileting behavior that is the problem.
The holidays are rapidly approaching, so I know a lot of you will have family and friends visiting you in the coming months. Some of those folks may make less that helpful comments about your pets, or even say hurtful things about them. This reflects on them and has more to do with them that it does you. I'm happy to help you work on some of those issues before the holidays get here so that you can say with confidence and poise, "I know and I'm working on it." Nobody's perfect and some folks just need to be reminded of that.
As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.
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