When Your Dog is Choosy

I've been working with this client for about a year and a half. She rescued a dog during the pandemic and he's been a work in progress.  He no longer lunges and barks at other dogs on walks and he isn't afraid of strangers; he can now go to restaurants with his owner and walk the local trails.  He doesn't, however, enjoy meeting new people, really only showing interest and affection to his owner.  This has her greatly concerned as she's not sure how she can safely leave him when she has to travel for work, or if she wants to vacation somewhere that doesn't allow dogs. She isn't the first client I've had who is the center of her dog's universe.  While at first this can feel so wonderful, knowing a dog appreciates you and is interested only in spending time with you, but that devotion does come with a price.  

While most dogs love their owners and are devoted to their families, they are also open to forming new relationships with other humans, whether that be a housesitter, dog walker, or a daycare provider. Some dogs are nervous around new people, but will accept them, to varying degrees, if those new people are also attached to a dog.  That is, there are some dogs who will only trust a human who can prove that they already have an established relationship with another dog.  Thus, some dogs do better at boarding and daycares where they can be in the company of other dogs who do enjoy the people around them; they accept those human caregivers simply because the other dogs around them do.  For dogs who don't really like other people outside of their owners, this situation can work when they need to be gone for long periods of time either for work or vacation.  But what about those dogs who don't like other dogs AND don't really like new people?

For dogs like my client's, it is important to try to find at least one person the dog will trust in your absence. This could be a neighbor, relative, or friend, but does need to be someone the dog could be left with (or better yet, who can stay in your home when you're gone), when you aren't there.  If you don't have anyone in your life that you can get to fill this role, you will have to spend some time interviewing housesitters until you find one that your dog will accept and trust.  This could take time, so you need to plan for that accordingly. 

My client has always worried that her dog's social network is so small, really only including herself, a couple of friends, and a few dogs that he can relax around and enjoy.  While I understand her concern, it isn't really a requirement that her dog like other people or other dogs.  While dogs are sociable creatures, and definitely group living, their group can be very small, even just them and their favored human.  A lot of dogs hate dog parks, don't enjoy daycare, and hide in their crates when their humans have visitors.  There is nothing wrong with those dogs!  If your dog is aggressive toward other dogs or people, yes, that is something that you need to address. But if it is just that your dog avoids interacting with other dogs or unfamiliar people, that's okay.  I've said it before, but it bears repeating; not all dogs are social butterflies.  

I know my client is also worried about leaving her dog home alone all day, since he hated daycare and dog walkers when she tried those options.  But here's the thing: He's happy at home.  He goes in and out of his crate in the kitchen, uses the dog door to go out to the yard to relieve himself and hang out in the sunshine or shade.  He doesn't have accidents in the house, and is perfectly happy just being in the gated kitchen area with yard access. He doesn't bark incessantly, whine, cry or behave destructively.  I was so sure of this that I had the client set up cameras to prove that he was indeed content in her absence with this arrangement.  She watched him from work three days in a row and she never saw him happier than that, with one exception being those times when they were home together.  He wasn't pining for her while she was away at work as she had feared that he would be. He also wasn't bored, choosing to work on his Kong, chew on his bone, nap in his crate, or explore the yard.  He was content keeping his own company until his owner returned.  No need to seek out other solutions for the days she works or feel guilty when she wants to dine out with friends without her dog, he'll be just fine. 

I've had many clients over the years ask if I thought they should get a second dog to keep their homebody dog company when the humans are gone.  This always cracks me up as the only reason to ever get a second dog (or third, or fourth, for that matter!) is the fact that the humans would like additional dog companions.  Most dogs are happiest living alone with the humans, having all of those desired and coveted resources to themselves, without any other canine competition. For many dogs, bliss is being the only dog in the house!

So, don't feel guilty about returning to work or wanting to go out without your dog.  Find the solution that works best for your dog when you need to be gone, whether that's for a few hours, or for days at a time.  And remember that you don't want to push your introverted dog to do traditional boarding or daycare if that will cause undue anxiety.  Finding a good housesitter may be a better idea, even if your dog ignores the housesitter the entire time you are gone.  You are the center of your dog's world and he doesn't necessarily need anyone but you.  As long as he lets that person you've brought in take care of his basic needs, you're fine and they're fine. Just because your previous dog loved daycare and the dog park and would take treats from anyone they met doesn't mean that all dogs are like that.  Dogs, like people, are individuals.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

These two love spending time together, but are also just fine alone.  While they love when Westley is here, they are fine when he leaves.  They love when family and friends look after them while we are gone. While I think Desi would be fine in a traditional boarding environment, Ozzie is less comfortable with that scenario, so having housesitters for them is key to keeping them both happy and stress-free.