Wednesday, May 18, 2022

Just a Quick Story

So, I am down in Los Angeles this week, visiting with my kids who are all Southern California residents now.  I walked to a neighborhood cafe to pick up lunch and enjoy a lovely stroll through this neighborhood with its jacaranda-lined streets and eclectic businesses. As I was waiting for my lunch, I sat at one of their outdoor tables to soak up the sun and people watch.  A woman with a young dog walked my way and sat at the table next to me.  She smiled tentatively and told me she liked my shirt (of course, my shirt had a collie on it!) and went back to trying to get her dog to settle down.  The dog was clearly anxious about all of the people, strollers, and cars going by which made me a bit sad, but I mind my own business in situations like this.  I never give unsolicited advice and I never intrude.  What happened next changed everything.

A young man walked by with his Labrador puppy.  This puppy was clearly having the time of his life, sniffing everything he could reach and bounding toward every passerby.  When this pair moved past the tables where we were sitting, the woman's dog flew out from under the table, making an aggressive grab for the puppy.  Luckily, the man jerked his puppy away before any contact could be made, and the woman apologized profusely, grabbing her dog's collar and dragging her back under the table where they were sitting.  People around us began to give her disapproving looks (this is a very dog-centric, urban neighborhood) and she made comments about just waiting for her order and then she'd be out of their hair.  I glanced over to see her dog furtively looking at me, so I slowly dropped by hands down at my sides.  She crept out of her hiding spot and sniffed my hand, nudging it for a pat.  I stroked her chin gently and her eyes closed and she sighed.  Her owner looked surprised.  I said, "Well, I won't tell you that I'm a dog person, because I absolutely hate when people say that.  But, I will say that I am fluent in dog and your dog is clearly anxious and looking for an out, which I'm happy to oblige!" She asked me if I would hold her dog's leash while she quickly ran inside to pick up her order which was now done.  Her dog didn't move as she got up to go in the building.  

When the owner came back out, she sat down rather defeated.  She said she felt overwhelmed by her dog and wasn't sure what to do, but since I clearly was a dog person (despite what I had said, lol!), she wondered if I thought her dog was a menace too.  So, I did what I never do; I told a stranger on the street my thoughts! I told her that her dog wasn't a menace and that she could help her dog by changing her behavior first.  I suggested that she walk her dog at off peak times and off peak places given that this dog is clearly anxious in busy, social settings.  She could work on getting her dog to sniff and explore and focus on her rather than people and cars going by.  I suggested that she work at a distance from other dogs that felt comfortable for them both.  I didn't think her dog was dog aggressive per se, but simply over-stimulated by her surroundings and lashing out from a place of fear and anxiety rather than overt aggression.  I told her that had she been observing her dog from the outside looking in, she would understand that this dog hadn't felt comfortable or safe, probably from the moment they turned onto this busy street, with the anxiety peaking the moment the owner sat down at a table on the sidewalk. The reason her dog felt safe approaching me was that I hadn't approached her, rather giving her an opening (my hand dropped at my side) should she decide she wanted to interact with me.  Then, I had stroked her under the chin (non-threatening on my part) and avoided direct eye contact.  That's why her dog was relaxed with me, enough to stay with me while the owner went inside for her takeout order. 

The owner was nodding at this point and asked where I had learned all of this and could I recommend whoever I used for my dogs because she bet that my dogs "were utterly delightful and well-behaved." This made me laugh as while I definitely think my dogs are both of those things, they aren't perfect.  No one is, really.  Then I told her I had to come clean and tell her what I did for a living. She was practically giddy until I told her I was simply in the neighborhood visiting my daughter.  Before she could become deflated yet again, I did tell her that I work with clients remotely and would be happy to schedule a time to work with her.  She lit up again and put my phone number and email address into her phone immediately.  I sent her a quick link right then to my blog and told her to listen to her dog always and watch for those cues indicating that she was becoming anxious.  Not all dogs are social butterflies, and it's not a requirement that they love every person, dog, or situation they encounter.  Urban dogs, however, do need to be able to navigate those situations safely and she needs to build up what her dog is able to tolerate, adjusting for those situations where it is just in everyone's best interest that the dog stay home.

Needless to say, my order was done by this point, and one of the cafe employees came out to see why I hadn't picked up my bag yet!  I took if from her, thanked her for the "curb service," and invited the dog owner to walk with me so she could have a less stressful exit from her table where other patrons were still glancing her way. I made goofy, distracting sounds which made her dog perk up, wagging her tail and focus on me as we moved away from the cafe.  The owner shook my hand with both of hers and they headed up the street, while I crossed and headed my own way.  While I had thought today would be my day off, it turns out the universe had other plans for me, and I'm okay with that.  I hope I hear from this woman again, and if I don't, I hope it's because implementing my simple suggestions was enough to get them off to a better start on their relationship.

Okay, back to my sandwich and mystery novel.  I'll be back in work mode by the weekend.  

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me. 

Couldn't have said it better myself.




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