The Stress of Pet Ownership

There always seems to be a lot of talk about how great pets are for their owners, reducing anxiety, lowering heart rate and blood pressure, etc. But pets don't always reduce their owners' stress; sometimes our pets can make our stress even worse. For pet owners whose pets have behavior problems, feelings of aggravation and frustration are often the norm, giving them social anxiety (worrying about what other people think of them because their pet has issues) and making them feel overwhelmed. Pet owners whose pets have both minor and major behavior problems report feeling frustrated, depressed, and even angry, at times with their pets.  Keep in mind that feeling frustrated, angry, or depressed is understandable, but our pets can pick up on these feelings and respond with even more anxiety themselves, thus leading to further or more pronounced behavior problems, particularly for issues related to separation anxiety.

I met with a client last week whose life has been turned upside down.  Her husband passed away, she had to move out of the home they'd shared for almost 50 years, and she was trying to adapt to living in a senior apartment with the young dog that her husband had acquired just a year before he'd passed away.  She was not only reeling from all of these changes, she was also trying to deal with the burgeoning behavior problems this dog now has.  He'd been an active, enthusiastic puppy, but her husband loved that in the dog, and spent hours playing with the puppy, taking him on beach walks, and teaching him tricks.  Now, they live in the suburbs, don't have a yard, and she's trying to adapt to senior living, in close proximity to people she's just met. She's having trouble because this dog barks, jumps up on people, and pulls hard on the leash.  Her neighbors have reported her dog for his barking and that's been incredibly upsetting for my client as she feels like everyone is out to get her. She feels judged when she walks her dog because he pulls to meet people and then jumps up on them.  She doesn't want to give up the dog as she does love him and sees him as all that she has left of her husband, but she also doesn't want to be forced out of her new living environment.  Her veterinarian had suggested she reach out to me for help.

I had this client and her dog meet me at a local park.  As I approached them, her dog started bouncing around and pulling.  It was all she could do to hold onto his leash!  As I was introducing myself, she literally burst into tears!  I felt terrible for her; this dog wasn't purposefully "being bad," he just didn't know how to control his enthusiasm.  I asked for her dog's leash and told her she could just watch us work together until she felt comfortable jumping in.

I switched out his 4 foot leash which was too short for nice walking and sniffing in favor of a 6 foot ThunderLeash.  I dropped a few treats, encouraging him to sniff them out on the grass. This helped him to relax a bit so he could focus.  I used treats to lure him into a nice loose leash heel around people at the park, and he did great!  I encouraged sniffing and exploring and gave him enough leash to sniff without feeling rushed. At this point, I put him on a 20 foot line, so we could practice his recall and so that he could explore even more without feeling too restrained. This dog was clearly missing the freedom he'd had with his own backyard! His owner was amazed at how well he did with me.  I started teaching him a few tricks, just for fun.  As we continued to work together, I watched my client relax.  She began to smile.  She even clapped and giggled a few times.  Success!

I gave this owner a straightforward plan that she could follow.  I outlined where, when, and how long to walk her dog.  I suggested feeding him in puzzle toys instead of a bowl.  She will enforce nap times for him so he stays well-rested.  She will stand on his leash for greetings and move from that 4 foot leash to the longer ThunderLeash for better control.  She will let him sniff and explore, both on leash and on a long line. She will carry treats at all times and use them to reward and to lure into good behavior, and to help him remember the value of sniffing.  We also talked about his barking which I feel is the result of both boredom and uncertainty with his new home environment. Frequent short walks, puzzle toys, and tricks training should help with the boredom and make being in their new home more comfortable.  She can stand on his leash for greetings so he won't jump up, and encourage people to pet him under his chin and offer him treats for sitting or standing nicely. She will start pairing her time away from him with fun things like bones, bully sticks, and frozen Kong toys.  She will reinforce the crate as his happy, safe place and have him sleep in there at nap times and bedtime. 

My client feels hopeful.  She really wants to keep this dog and honor her husband's memory.  He was "the dog person," but she does enjoy the dog's company and feels like he could be a healing companion for her.  Our next meeting will be at her senior residence so we can work around the obstacles there and I can smooth the way with her neighbors. 

I will do everything I can to help this client and her dog succeed.  I want to help her heal and find joy again and I do truly believe that this young, happy-go-lucky dog can help her achieve that end.  

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Having a healthy, happy relationship with your dog takes work, but it's worth it!