So, last week's blog was a long one, but should have given you all a solid overview of canine body language and how dogs communicate with each other and with us. Now, let's put it all together so that you will have a better understanding of your own dogs, as well as those you see when you are out on walks or at the dog park.
Dogs often seek out attention from us by bowing, relaxing their ears, softening their gaze, etc. If they don't get a response, they may ramp up their behavior provoke a reaction. Truly, so much of what our dogs do with us is defined as attention seeking and appeasement. Your dog may bark, paw, or jump up on you to get your attention. Then, when you acknowledge the dog, he will bow, relax his ears, slow the wag, and then offer appeasing gestures like lip licking, yawning, or shaking it off.
Believe it or not, we do this too. When we want our dog's attention, we raise the pitch of our voice, make a dramatic gesture with our hands (patting legs, clapping), bend down thus making ourselves smaller, smile, and make kissing sounds. This is us attention seeking and appeasing! And our dogs respond in kind. It's a dance where the partners don't necessarily speak the same language, but they can use context and familiarity to reach common ground. Occasionally, you will see people trying to imitate dog communication; they may try a bow, lolling tongue, and give a bark at their dogs. Dogs find humor in this, I believe, much as we find humor in those viral videos of husky dogs saying, “I love you” and “Mommy!” Dogs know that we aren't dogs. This is why the notion of people being pack leaders is so ludicrous. Dogs are not wolves and dogs aren't looking for a pack leader. Dogs know that we are people and that we have thumbs and upright posture, which translates to the dog getting what he wants faster if he can manipulate said human into using those thumbs and upright posture to get the cookies on the top shelf of the pantry! And vice versa, we know that dogs are not wolves. Wolves would not want to, nor thrive, living in our home environments. Wolves are aloof, self-contained, and driven to hunt, mate, explore their home range, etc. Most dogs enjoy hunting bugs and chasing squirrels, and if un-neutered show an interest in mating, and while they do like to explore their worlds, they are just as happy hanging around their homes and yards, playing with toys, and sleeping in air conditioned/heated comfort. Dogs put out on their own do not do well. As opposed to cats who feralize very quickly if left to their own devices. Dogs are truly domesticated. Cats most definitely are not.
Through years of selective breeding, we have created dogs that seek us out, choose to spend time with us, and engage us in play. Most dogs can clearly see that rough housing style play doesn't work for most people, and will thus bring a toy instead. While they will certainly bring toys to each other, play is much more physical between two dogs than between a dog and a person.
The science of body language in humans is a fascinating topic as well. Being adept at non-verbal communication has its perks. It can be used to get ahead in business, find the perfect companion, draw people to you, push people away, and better understand the criminal mind. People can tell when someone's words don't match their body language. For example, when a person says, “Oh, I am so happy to see you!” and, yet, their smile doesn't quite reach their eyes. Dogs find this confusing when our words and our body language don't match. Thus, when you call your dog to you and then yank their collar or sternly leash them, they are confused...and less likely to come readily the next time you ask. Now, it is true, that dogs are more concerned with pitch, tone and volume than our actual words. So, for example, you might say, “Come here, you little idiot! Come here little Satan puppy!” and your dog will come because your pitch, tone, and volume seem appropriate for the come command. Again, dogs use meta-communication just like people, so if most of what you are “saying” seems to jibe, they will respond accordingly.
There are seven universal facial expressions in humans that show our emotions. These are called micro-expressions. They are universal in that they are true regardless of your sex, age, where you live, your culture, etc. They are as follows:
Disgust: the “ew” face
Anger: Eyebrows together and tensed lips
Sadness: This one is hard to fake. It's the “boo boo” face
Happiness: Your smile reaches your eyes
Fear: Big eyes, open mouth, but flat brows
Surprise: Big eyes with raised brows and open mouth
Contempt: smirk, one side of mouth goes up
A really important reason to understand canine body language and teach it to your family members is that understanding dogs can help keep you and your loved ones safe. One of the things I get asked a lot is how to approach an unfamiliar dog, for example, and what to tell kids who are approached by a dog. So, let's start with how ANYONE should approach an unfamiliar dog. Don't. Don't approach them, instead, let the dog approach you. Do not offer your hand to an unfamiliar dog as that just gives an aggressive dog something to easily bite! Stand with your body sideways and don't stare at the dog. IF the dog approaches you and begins to sniff, you can gently reach down and rub the dog below the chin or across the chest. This is a non-threatening gesture designed to increase relaxation and promote trust. Do NOT pat the dog on the head, go over the dog's head, drape your arm across the dog's shoulders, or get in the dog's face. All of those maneuvers are considered aggressive and non-affiliative. Always pet an animal in the direction the fur grows. If your gentle gesture is tolerated, you can make the contact more engaging by briefly glancing at the dog, adding in verbal cues, and if the dog is relaxed and presents its rear end, a butt scratch. And a really important thing to remember: If a dog is accompanied by a person, don't listen to what the person says ("Oh, my dog is friendly!"), but look at what their dog is saying. Many a bite has occurred because an inexperienced owner said their dog was friendly because he was wagging his tail and approaching the stranger! You all know how to read dogs now, so believe what you see, not what that other person is telling you! Obviously, no one should pet a dog without an owner's permission. Period. No exceptions. Even for those people who claim to be "dog people;" actually, maybe especially for those people. Everyone should ask if it's okay to engage your dog.
Now, what should a child, or anyone for that matter, do if approached aggressively by an off leash dog? Stand still and sideways. Don't make any sudden moves. Don't stare at the dog. Be quiet. Keep you hands up and close to your body by folding your arms. If you have stuff in your arms, drop it or throw it away from you to distract them and get them to move away from you. Move away slowly and never run. If you and your dog are approached by an off leash, aggressive dog, you can throw treats away from you to distract the dog, or carry an airhorn to discourage the other dog. Do NOT yell at the dog, flail your arms, or get yourself between your dog and the other dog as you will get bit. And you may even get bit by your own dog. The bottom line: Always carry treats and an airhorn (or pepper spray, or mace, but be prepared for a lawsuit) and make yourself as non-threatening as possible if you, or you and your dog, are approached and engaged by an aggressive dog.
So, what about what you see at the dog park where off leash dogs congregate to play? Let's talk briefly about what constitutes good play from a body language perspective. First off, all play needs to be supervised, particularly with regard to unfamiliar dogs. Never walk away from your dog at the dog park, even for a few minutes! When you are supervising dog play, however, you must make certain you are clear on what constitutes appropriate play and when you should intervene. If you are going to put yourself out there in an off leash dog situation, you need to feel comfortable interrupting inappropriate play behavior and calling your dog away BEFORE it goes south. I like to divide dog play into three categories: good, questionable, and inappropriate. Here's how to tell these things apart:
Good dog play is play that needs no interruption. The dogs seem to be monitoring themselves in the give or take of the interaction. No one is actively escaping the play session. The dogs involved will have loose, relaxed bodies often with goofy facial expressions and lolling tongues. If chase is involved, no one is hiding or defensive. It is not necessary for good play, however, to see dogs switching off between chaser and chasee. Some dogs like one role or the other and stick to that. Play bows, hip checks etc. are the norm and the dogs will stop themselves if it gets too rough.
Questionable dog play should be interrupted BEFORE it goes too far. For example, wrestling can be appropriate, but should not involve bullying (more that 2 dogs involved) and the dog wrestled to the ground should be enjoying himself. If he is fighting back, trying to escape and hide, it's gone too far. When unfamiliar dogs play, there should be NO TOYS OR POSSESSIONS READILY AVAILABLE. When dogs know one another, tug-of-war and shared toy play sessions are fine, but with unfamiliar dogs this can lead to questionable play with one dog actively defending a resource from another. Other inappropriate behaviors include stalking...I am not talking about herding here folks, but true stalking as you might see in a lion hunting down a gazelle. Often stalking is followed by a body slam to the ground with intent and that's not okay. Rude and totally inappropriate play is not really play at all. It is aggressive and must be stopped immediately, even if that means leaving the park. Do not allow your dog to be bullied, body slammed/t-boned, relentlessly chased or mounted repeatedly. This is not "normal," despite what other dog owners at the park may be saying and you and your dog don't have to put up with it. Persistent neck or collar grabs, excessive barking and harassment (using the bark to push another dog into a corner or a submissive posture), body slamming to the ground, repeatedly pinning, snapping, repeatedly adopting a position of head over another dog's shoulder, ganging up, and growling with full teeth on display and erect posture are all aggressive behaviors.
Everyone needs to work on being able to call their dog away from play AT ANY TIME. That way, if play is inappropriate or not play at all, you can remove your dog safely. Use a long line to work at home on calling your dog away from desirable things and then work with the line during play. Give your dog time to calm down before you even consider releasing him to play again. Any dog repeatedly harassing other dogs needs to be removed from the play session PERIOD. It is important to remember that rough play will often look like fighting, hence why so many researchers over the years have even taken to referring to it as play fighting. However, it isn't fighting really...bites are inhibited, sequences of behavior are incomplete, and movement is often exaggerated and bouncy. While it is important to interrupt inappropriate play, we need to be careful that we don't misinterpret. While you may feel that you are playing it safe, you can actually end up creating a lot more frustration for the dogs by constantly butting in on their game. Thus, if you have concerns, intervene briefly and look at the dogs involved. Do you see relief and avoidance or are the dogs struggling to get back to their game, offering big grins, lolling tongues, and play bows? Whether rough play is OK for your dog will depend on many factors including their past experiences. The biggest factor, however, in whether they will engage in rough play is what kind of relationship, if any, they have with that other dog. Play does not have to be balanced or fair, it just has to be consensual.
Researchers studying dog play have found that after observing hundreds of hours of play fighting between two dogs WITH ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS, never once did it escalate into a real fight. Rough play or play fighting is not done to prepare dogs for real fighting or killing prey. It is done to help form social bonds, enhance cognitive development, exercise, and practice coping skills and strategies. To summarize, play should always be monitored between dogs who differ significantly in size or age or who don't know one another well. However, trust your dog. He knows who he wants to play with and how to play well with that dog. Dogs speak dog more fluently than we do, so, ultimately, let's respect that. A growl isn't just a growl; dogs growl during play, it's acoustically different, and dogs know the difference, even if we don't. Multi-dog play needs close monitoring to make sure ganging up isn't occurring. The best play is between two, familiar dogs. No toys should be involved. Be the most cautious with young, inexperienced puppies. And always do the work on recall in advance of actually letting your dog off leash to play. You want to ensure good recall so that you can get a pause in play at any time safely.
As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.
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