Learning to Entertain Themselves

When my daughter was born years ago, one piece of advice I received time and again from veteran parents was this: Don't spend all of your time entertaining your kids; they need to be able to keep themselves occupied without constant parental engagement. My daughter didn't always make it easy to keep her occupied on her own, but I persevered and then did the same thing with my son. Interestingly enough, that same advice really should be given to every prospective dog owner when they acquire their first dog. While it became a huge problem following COVID lock-down when everyone was no longer stuck inside for days and weeks on end, the problem of over-indulgent dog owners, unwilling or unable to get their dogs to entertain themselves, has persisted. Right now, I average three calls a week from dog owners who are at their wit's end with puppies or dogs who simply cannot entertain themselves.  So, what's going on here?

When you bring home a puppy, you need to get them onto a schedule as quickly as you can. That schedule should include non-negotiable naps, in a crate, in a room, away from you. Not only does this encourage quality naps, it also teaches your puppy that it's okay to be away from you.  Puppies who take naps alone learn to soothe themselves and also entertain themselves if they wake up before you are there to let them out. If, instead, you let your puppy nap wherever they happen to be, or in a pen in the room where you are, you are not teaching them to be independent; on the contrary, you are teaching them to be wholly dependent on you for even the most basic thing, falling asleep!

Beyond nap time, puppies should spend alone time in an exercise pen or playpen with toys, puzzles, and activities to keep them occupied and mentally stimulated. You should not have to train, play, or entertain your puppy constantly while they are awake. Again, they need to understand that having 100% of their humans' attention isn't a sustainable option.  If your puppy fusses in the pen, ignoring those toys and puzzles, move away and out of sight and see if they'll occupy themselves then.  Many of them do once they realize the humans aren't going to scoop them up immediately.  If your pup continues to fuss in the pen or escalates to barking, pawing at the pen, or trying to climb out, scoop them up, take them outside to toilet and sniff, and then bring them right back to the pen. That way, they learn that fussing doesn't get them anything more than a bathroom break. Schedule one-on-one play time, training time, and leash walks the same way you plan those naps. In between times, your puppies should be entertaining themselves.

For adolescent and adult dogs who don't require enforced naps and playpens, you will still want to encourage and reward them for occupying themselves.  Use bones, stuffed Kong toys, lick mats, puzzles, etc. daily to keep them entertained.  If they start whining for your attention, shoving on you with their nose or jumping into your lap uninvited, slough them off and ignore them for a minute.  Follow that up by redirecting to the activity you gave them to do.  You decide when the walks, play time, and adventures happen, not your dog.  If you allow your dog to dictate how you spend your day, you will quickly discover that you have no time for yourself and are literally spending your whole day entertaining your canine companion.

I've had a lot of folks try to do what I've outlined above and then come back frustrated saying, "He's just so high energy!  He needs me to throw the ball constantly or he'll be tearing up my house!" Now, this is a separate, but related, issue.  Dogs need an appropriate balance of physical and mental exercise.  Those dogs who are bouncing off of the walls are often the ones not getting enough of either.  Train yourself to walk your dog twice a day for at least 45 minutes each walk, focusing on letting them sniff and explore.  If they like to play fetch, that's fine, schedule a session of fetch, but not at the expense of a walk.  Then, change up the way you feed your dog, opting out of bowl feeding and choosing instead to feed your dog using puzzles or games that make them think before they eat.  Dogs are foragers by nature; feeding them in bowls, even slow feeder bowls, isn't much of a challenge.  Throwing a cup of kibble out on the grass for them to forage and find their meal? Now, that's a challenge! Don't have a lawn? Fine, just bury the food in a sturdy snuffle mat or snuffle ball to encourage independent foraging. 

Finally, it's also often the case that these dogs who can't entertain themselves are also dogs with rather poor manners.  This means that your training sessions should focus on more than just sits and downs, but with an eye toward more important life skills like go to your bed/mat; stay; off; and go play, which is basically just a directional command to go entertain themselves.  If your dog is having trouble or you are finding it hard to motivate to teach them these manners, sign up for a class!  There are some great basic manners and holiday manners classes out there at your disposal.  Classes are great for accountability for you AND for your dog.

As I am writing this, Ozzie is sound asleep on the bed in the corner of my office, while Henley is in the window seat, chewing on a bone he found, on his own, at the bottom of his toy basket.  He is very good at entertaining himself and you know what? I take full credit for that!  I learned what to do (and what not to do!) 25 years ago when my daughter was born!

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me. 

Henley dropped the bone off the bench where he'd been chewing on it, followed by a dramatic yawn meant to get my attention. You already know I did not pick up that bone and hand it to him!  He can do that all on his own. Which he promptly did after posing for this picture.

It's a Matter of Timing

Everything is a matter of timing, right?  Researching a new canine or feline family member, locating them, getting on waiting lists, etc., it's all about timing.  Everyone wants to get it "just right," which I understand, I really do.  And while I do think it's important not to rush to get a new pet as often that means settling for one you might not ordinarily choose, and I also think getting pets during the holidays is a terrible idea, beyond that, I don't really think timing is as big of an issue when it comes to acquiring a new pet.  You want to know where I do think timing is a big issue?  When offering reinforcement to your pets, whether that reinforcement is positive, negative, or just plain inadvertent, I think timing is everything.  Here's why.

We are all products of reinforcement.  We're told we'll get a pay bump if we finish a project, add an account, or work more overtime.  That pay bump is reinforcement and even though it may not be immediate, we do what it takes to reach that goal. I believe that while humans can perform reasonably well with delayed reinforcement, we, too, prefer quicker payoffs.  For our pets, quicker payoffs is always their goal.  To tell a dog, "Hey, if you keep performing well in this six week class, I'll take you to the store and let you pick a toy on the last day!" isn't going to guarantee that they do that.  In fact, if you don't offer intermittent rewards along the way, in each of those classes, you are likely to lose their attention, and the trust of your canine companion.  Timing is everything in this case.  Whether you are training a new behavior, perfecting a known behavior, or extinguishing a behavior you don't like, you need to offer your reinforcement, whatever that may be, within seconds of your pet doing the behavior. If you have to go to the kitchen, cut up some cheese, and come back to reward your dog, the moment is lost and you'll likely just be rewarding them for following you to the kitchen!  This is why I truly believe and encourage everyone I know, dog and cat owners alike, to keep treats in their pocket at all times.  This means tangible reinforcement can be offered at any time, allowing you to capture and mark behaviors "in real time" versus just during training exercises.  Yes, it's true, you could simply tell your pet that they did a great job, or give them a pat on the head or booty scratch, we know for a fact that pets prefer edible rewards to just verbal or physical rewards.  We also know, for a fact, that they learn faster and retain more when there are food rewards.  But, again, timing is everything.

Sometimes it just isn't feasible to reinforce within seconds of a behavior, so do you just throw up your hands and say, "Oh, well?"  No, of course not. Instead, layer your reinforcement.  Tell your pet "Yes!" to mark the behavior as something you liked or "No!" for something you didn't.  Then, move toward them and either get them to repeat the behavior OR redirect them to the appropriate behavior, and hopefully by this point you are able to dig a treat out of your pocket and apply that important reinforcer, the tangible one that they will actually remember.

For those of you with anxious pets, offering food rewards is often harder than it is for your friends with their non-anxious companions.  Anxiety creates a situation inside of us and our pets where eating isn't priority, survival is.  You will need to get a handle on your pet's anxiety first, that way they can relax and focus on what you are teaching them, and be able to take those treats that are going to reinforce those new, less anxiety-provoking behaviors.  Once again, timing is key.  If your pet is anxious and you are trying to bribe or distract them with food, this isn't going to work, and in fact, it's going to slow everything down and make you seem less trustworthy.  If instead you work through that anxious moment, trying redirection, moving away, or simply just being supportive until the moment passes, and then ask for a simple behavior that allows your pet to focus and reset, followed by offering a treat, you are on the right track, and your timing was perfect.

I was working with a client yesterday who was amazed by my ability to get her dog focused and redirected out in public when normally he is so distracted, pulling on the leash, darting around, and snuffling everything on the ground.  It wasn't magic, folks. I simply had treats ready in my pocket, and two at the ready between my own front teeth, so that when I got her dog redirected and focused on me rather than the ground, other dogs, etc., I had the reward out of my mouth and into that dog's mouth within a couple of seconds. Timing is everything. And not being grossed out by having dog treats in your own mouth!

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Henley is a ready pupil, eyes on me, focused and ready to work.  He makes training easy because he's not anxious and almost always ridiculously joyful. That doesn't mean I don't still need to be good about my timing of reinforcement for him, it just means I have a bit more wiggle room.

The Benefits of Pet Ownership Revisited

There have been quite a few scientific studies of late looking at the health benefits (or lack thereof) to pet ownership and humans interacting with animals in general. For years, I've been referencing research done in the 80's that demonstrated that petting and interacting with animals lowered heart rates and respiratory rates, helped build confidence in young readers, and led to feelings of belonging and acceptance.  Now, however, new studies are coming out, and being replicated, which show with statistical significance that there are no marked benefits to pet ownership or interacting with animals. This blows my mind every single time I read one of these studies. How can that even be possible?!

You guys know me. I'm a scientist at heart.  I trust well thought out and executed studies with large sample sizes and replicable results.  But this current vein of research is really leaving me adrift. I keep returning to a 2022 survey done by HABRI, the Human Animal Relations Research Institute in Washington D.C. that found that 74% of pet owners said owning a pet improved their mental health. In fact, 67% said their pets make them feel happy; 51% said their pets comfort them when they feel sad; 48% said their pets make them feel less lonely; 43% said their pets gave them a sense of purpose; 36% said their pets kept them more active; and 17% said their pets helped them make community connections. This was a global study reaching statistical significance due to the large sample size.  But this new research seems to be pointing out that while people may feel or believe pets benefit them in this way, there is no proof in terms of health markers for any of these HABRI study results.

So, why am I telling you this?  Well, I've come to a new conclusion, at least for myself. I don't really care what the new research shows! I firmly believe that having pets and interacting with animals improves the lives of humans. I've seen it with my own two eyes and experienced it myself.  I don't need to have it proven in a study or in a controlled laboratory setting. I just know it in my heart.  And, more importantly, I hope you know it too.  Our pets are making a difference in our lives and the lives of others in our communities every single day.  Whether those differences are quantifiable isn't really important.  What's important is that we believe it. I will continue to do pet therapy visits and promote pet assisted therapy work with the assumption that interacting with animals on those visits improves the quality of life and health and well-being of the folks we serve in our communities. And, I will continue to have pets in my home as I find their presence comforting and supportive.  I'm still a believer.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here's my sweet Desi, the consummate pet therapy dog, working his magic on a young girl, and on me, simultaneously. He was just that good.

Holiday Mayhem

We have officially entered the holiday triad; you know, the time between Halloween, Thanksgiving, and all of the December holidays?  It's a time of chaos with kids ramped up on sugar, over-stimulated pets, and parents and grandparents spread thin. Yee haw.  Really makes you look forward to this time of year, right?

I'm already seeing my social media feeds filled with holiday posts.  I've seen pets in spooky costumes, people feeding their pets festive treats, right alongside pets dressed as pilgrims and Native Americans, and folks already adding Mariah Carey's voice to their early Christmas posts of pets preparing for Santa to arrive.  Hey folks, it's only October 30, I'm not ready for Mariah Carey just yet.  Can we all just slow down for a moment?  What's the rush?

Lest you think I'm just on a rant, there's a really good reason I'm bringing this up now.  You see, all of those social media posts have one thing in common: Perfectly posed pets, seemingly enjoying all of the holiday chaos.  But here's the thing:  Most pets don't enjoy that stuff at all.  And more importantly, a lot of pets find costumes on kids, costumes on themselves, sitting in front of a table of food they can't touch, sparkling/flashing decor, animatronic skeletons, ghosts, santas, etc. quite anxiety-provoking.  There's a problem with social media influencers inundating their followers with this content; they are normalizing this behavior at the expense of their pets and the pets of their followers in the name of entertainment, views, and followers.

You know what I'd like to see normalized?  Pets allowed to be themselves.  Rather than dressing up your anxious dog and forcing him to repeatedly greet strange children at the front door, how about you give him a yummy bone, lick mat filled with goodies, or a frozen Kong and put him in another room with a white noise machine or music blotting out that chaos? Same goes for Thanksgiving: If your pet doesn't like visitors in the house, or can't be trusted around all the food, don't make them do it!  Sure, you can leash your pet to keep them from accosting visitors or wolfing down cocktail onions, but why put them through it in the first place? I know you consider them family and want them to be included, but do they REALLY want to be included, or would they prefer their crate and an interactive toy in a quiet room away from all of that? And your dog who is terrified of new people and doesn't like being in public spaces doesn't need to go to the mall and sit on Santa's lap; you can tell Santa what he wants for Christmas all on your own!

Seriously, folks.  Let's normalize doing right by our pets.  Let's normalize protecting them from what fills them with anxiety and stress.  And if you do have a pet who enjoys the chaos of the holiday season, well, that's great.  Let them enjoy themselves.  But remember: Even the most social, outgoing, life-of-the-party dog will need down time.  Be sure you schedule that for them as well.

Clearly, I'm far from ready for the holidays.  While I do have Halloween candy for the neighborhood kids and I've made rough plans for Thanksgiving, I'm panicking about holiday cards and afraid December will get here before I'm mentally ready for it.  Luckily, I have dogs who enjoy family and friends in our house, don't mess with the holiday decor, and have been trained not to touch food that isn't expressly theirs.  I do, however, make sure they have an exit at all times; crates are always available and I make sure Ozzie, especially, has a quiet place to go when he's had enough hugs and booty scratches and wants to just rest by himself. At my house, we normalize taking a break whether you are a dog or a person.  I hope your pets will be afforded those same opportunities to get away from it all if they need to.

And, as always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

While unhappy, as we all were, that the San Francisco Giants didn't make it to the World Series this year, the smoothies were still happy to wear their Giants retro shirts in defiance of the Dodgers and Yankees making it there instead!

Why Is My Dog Such a Hater?

I get asked some version of this question all the time:  Why doesn't my dog like other dogs?  When I tell dog owners that it isn't a requirement that their dog actually like other dogs, they often act surprised.  I mean, aren't dogs supposed to socialize with other dogs and enjoy those experiences?  And the answer is no, not necessarily.  Just like some people are more sociable than others, the same goes for dogs.  But let's explore why that's the case, just a little bit deeper.

Ever notice that dogs, in general, seem to get along best with other dogs that look like them?  There's a reason for this.  Boxers like playing with other Boxers, Pit Bulls like playing with other Bully breeds, and Collies do indeed enjoy other Collies.  After spending several hours watching 65 collies run, play, and enjoy each other's company at a recent collie fun day event, I can certainly attest to that! The reason for this affiliation is simple: Familiar body language.  All dogs communicate using primarily body language and dogs who share similar morphologies (body shapes) have similar body language.  Thus, a Boxer with it's smushy face, short tail, and bouncy nature will best be understood by other Boxers who also have smushy faces, short tails, and bouncy dispositions.  Conversely, other dog breeds often find Boxers difficult to read; their smushy faces don't have as much expression, and those short tails also don't give as much information.  And for dogs who don't enjoy boisterous, bouncy play, a Boxer won't be an ideal companion.  Collies and other herding dogs like a good game of chase and use the ear position, tail carriage, and gait of their compatriots to determine who will be the chaser and who will be chased in their interactions.

And, yes, it is certainly true that in addition to body language, body size plays an important part in all of this.  It is often the case that little dogs, though playful, do not enjoy the same kind of rough and tumble play as a bully breed, or a game of chase like an Australian Shepherd, for example.  So, while a Pomeranian might want to play with a Toy Poodle, it's less likely to want to play with that Boxer or the German Shepherd. This doesn't mean your little dog can't be introduced to big dogs (and vice versa), it just means they are unlikely to be ideal playmates without a lot of supervision and management on your part.

So, what does this mean for your dog?  First and foremost take your cues from your dog.  Do they appear interested in other dogs?  Okay, then maybe they do want to socialize and now it's up to you to find appropriate playmates based on what I outlined above; look at their morphology, play style, and size to gauge who might be a good candidate for a playdate.  If your dog is uninterested in other dogs, OR appears fearful, aggressive, agitated, or overstimulated, they heed those cues and don't force interactions.  Dogs don't need to play with other dogs in order to be well-rounded, content canine companions. They do, however, need to be able to walk past other dogs without issue if you intend to walk them in areas populated by other dogs and their owners.

If you are having trouble walking your dog because they are fearful, aggressive, or overstimulated, take a minute to look at what triggers them.  Is it dogs bigger than them?  Smaller than them?  Dogs that stare or posture in a provoking way?  Dogs that bark or whine?  Dogs who are boisterous?  Once you know what triggers your individual dog, you'll have a better idea of how to avoid them. I've had clients tell me that their dogs are set off by every other dog, but that simply wasn't true.  What I observed were dogs triggered by specific body language cues and morphologies of other dogs.  The reason it seemed that their dogs were triggered by everything is that their owners kept exposing them repeatedly to triggers resulting in a situation where their dogs were so overwhelmed that the only way out of the situation was to behave in an over-the-top manner so that their owners would take them home.

If you know your dog is triggered by all that unsupervised, boisterous play at the dog park, then don't take them there.  In fact, time your walks in that area for when there are fewer dogs using the dog park, or even better, walk them somewhere else for a while.  The same goes for walking a different route if there are dogs behind fences who bark, posture, or stare at your dog when you walk by, and that's what triggers your dog. Walking at off peak times and off peak places can really help lessen your dog's anxiety about other dogs AND help them to reset, allowing you to work on strategies for making walking past other dogs on future walks a more attainable goal. 

If you need an easy refresher on dog body language, please revisit my blog on the subject.  For convenience, here's the link:

https://juliebondanimalbehaviorist.blogspot.com/2021/08/canine-body-language-part-1-basics.html

And if you'd like to pick up a great book on the subject, take a look at "Doggie Language: A Dog Lover's Guide to Understanding Your Best Friend," by Lili Chin.  It's a fabulous little book with wonderful, clear drawings and explanations on canine body language.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Just a gaggle of floofs (the smooths were all running the fence line when I took this photo!) enjoying each other's company.  Lots of good body language cues to look at here!

*Burp*

I had a friend over to visit yesterday evening.  Ozzie and Henley were super excited to see him, jumping and bouncing around, bringing him toys, etc.  When he leaned down to ruffle Ozzie's neck floof, Ozzie raised his face, appearing to be going in for a smooch, and promptly burped right in my friend's face!  Even Henley dropped his toy with a horrified look on his face!  Luckily, we just burst out laughing and Ozzie shook it off and moved on.  Why in the world would a dog burp in someone's face?

Dogs burp for the same reasons we do: eating too fast, drinking too quickly, dietary/digestive issues, and excitement or anxiety.  In Ozzie's case, that burp was due to excitement, but he's also been known to burp if he eats too quickly, and Henley burps when he drinks too fast, often spitting out water all over the floor when he does so. Is burping ever a concern?  Well, sure, if it's happening all the time, is associated with coughing or vomiting, or is part of a bigger issue like recurrent diarrhea and a loss of appetite. Otherwise, it's probably not that big of a deal.  If your dog is otherwise healthy, but does burp frequently, there are things you can do to decrease the frequency of those gassy outbursts.

Slow feeder bowls, snuffle mats, and even just spreading the food out on a flat surface will slow down how quickly your dog eats, thus he will capture less air due to gulping.  Smaller, more frequent meals can also mean less air swallowed. It's also true that giving high fat diets or treats, and those that are harder to digest like popcorn, for example, can lead to burping more frequently. Focus on giving a high quality diet, with a good balance of fats, carbohydrates, and proteins, and limit the fatty snacks and popcorn. And for those excited or anxious burping dogs, try to keep the environment calm, particularly at mealtimes.  You can keep them on leash for greetings to control jumping, spinning, and bouncing.  Teach them to sit in place and wait for guests to greet them instead. And if their anxiety is overwhelming, try crating them when people arrive and then letting them out, on leash, after the initial excitement settles.  And if their anxiety is strictly about excitement and enthusiasm, and not about aggression or fear, you might even be able to give them something like CBD oil to help calm their nerves and control those nervous burps.

I'm pretty sure Ozzie would be mortified if he knew I'd told the world he burped in someone's face.  He's been working so hard to fill Desi's shoes and be a good pet assisted therapy dog, and burping in faces isn't high on the list of behaviors for pet therapy animals!  Luckily, Ozzie is mostly calm on his visits, not anxious or overly excited, so he's unlikely to burp in those situations.  He is a collie, however, so burps could still happen.  Every collie we've ever had was a burper, versus our Labrador who could clear a room with her flatulence.  But that's a different story all together.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Mr. Burps himself.  But don't tell him I told you!

Thinking Outside of the Box

I had a wonderful conversation with a client after her appointment was done. She actually called me from her car on her way home because she wanted to share her thoughts while they were fresh in her mind.  So, why did she call?  Because she appreciated my "outside of the box" approach.  I laughed and thanked her for making my day, but it really got me thinking.  Are my techniques, recommendations, and treatment plans really that "outside the box?"  I guess for some people, they really are, while for others my approach aligns with either their own personal views or validates what their veterinarian or trusted dog trainer told them, and that works too.

I like to think of myself as progressive in my approach to animal behavior. I certainly remember what I learned in college and graduate school, but I think what I've learned on the job all these years has influenced my approach more than anything else.  Knowing that what works for one animal might not work for another, meaning you can't just apply the same techniques to every anxious dog, for example, and expect the same outcome.  Every animal is unique and while they may present as anxious, how they got there in the first place is their own journey and what I'm left to figure out in order to help them AND help their human caretaker.

As the years have gone by, I've really begun to dread the misinformation spread on the internet and through social media.  While this misinformation certainly extends beyond the realm of animals and their behavior, I'm going to limit my comments to that.  Whether you are searching for answers, help, or validation, know the sources you are using.  Asking your veterinarian beats Google every time.  And asking a behaviorist is better than Reddit, hands down.

And if you want to know where I go to continue my educational journey, I read.  I read A LOT.  I'm currently reading Zazie Todd's newest book, "Bark! The Science of Helping Your Anxious, Fearful or Reactive Dog." It's terrific and will be one I recommend to dog owners just starting their journey with an anxious or fearful dog. And for those of you who have been managing your fearful, anxious, or reactive dog for years, you'll still enjoy this book as it will validate that you've been doing all of the right things to enhance your dog's quality of life.

So, I'm going to continue thinking "outside of the box" for a few more years, at least.  I'll eventually retire, probably devoting more of my time to writing, gardening, and everything collie. But in the meantime, my quest for new ways to help you help your pets remains my purpose.

And, as always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

So, Henley has skin problems as most of you know.  He gets twice weekly baths and in between baths, he gets a mousse applied to any skin irritations to keep him from drawing attention to those spots and licking or scratching them. The problem?  He wants to lick the mousse as soon as it's applied!  My (maybe?) outside the box solution? Get him working on tasks until the mousse soaks in and he no longer wants to lick it! We worked on tap today, one of his favorites.  Basically, I move my feet and sort of dance with him and he has to tap the tops of my feet as they move. He loves this game so much, that even when I stop, he often tries to get me to play more by doing what you see in this picture.  The good thing is, he's not licking the mousse or himself.  The badish thing?  I can't move my foot now.