Survival of the Friendliest

Have you all watched the Netflix documentary, "Inside the Mind of a Dog?" If you haven't, you really should.  It's quite entertaining and a great way to see what goes into the raising and training of service dogs, among other noteworthy things.

For me, I thought the best takeaway was this idea of "survival of the friendliest" rather than just thinking about the success of dogs in terms of "survival of the fittest," a concept first presented by the English philosopher and sociologist, Herbert Spencer, before it was popularized and often attributed to Charles Darwin.  Survival of the fittest refers to natural selection and a way of explaining how organisms that are best adapted to their environments are more likely to survive and reproduce. Survival of the friendliest is an even more straightforward way of thinking about the success of dogs.  Those early canids that bravely followed humans, eating what we left behind, alerting us to predators, helping us hunt for food, and keeping us warm and entertained? They were adaptable and they were clearly friendly, or at least open to a symbiotic relationship.  Those early canids who weren't interested or friendly? In a nutshell, they remained wolves.

But survival of the friendliest applies well beyond natural selection.  The friendliest dogs are (hopefully) the ones humans, even now, are encouraging to reproduce. By encouraging friendly dogs to reproduce, we are ensuring that future human generations will enjoy the companionship of behaviorally reliable dogs.  And at least as far as this documentary is concerned, who in the dog population could be considered more friendly or reliable than a service dog?

Truthfully, I'd have to agree.  Service dogs are carefully bred over generations to have temperaments suitable to the jobs that they will one day master.  Some are good at picking up dropped items or flipping switches, others are good at guiding people in public spaces, while others are good at reducing anxiety.  There are service dogs whose noses are so gifted that they can detect drugs or firearms and even dogs that can identify cancer, alert to diabetic events, and predict seizures before they happen. These are all very helpful behaviors that dogs can provide and at the heart of all of these behaviors are dogs who are friendly in nature.  So, yes, we can select for friendly and perpetuate that for the future.

Now, obviously, I realize that there are dogs out there breeding on their own without much thought given to the idea of friendliness.  But  here's the thing.  We, as humans and their caretakers, do have a role to play there as well. Clearly, we should spay/neuter dogs whose temperaments shouldn't be perpetuated, much as we should spay/neuter dogs who have inherited genetic illnesses that will shorten their lives or cause them undue pain and suffering.  

As our faithful, trusted companions, I feel like we owe dogs that:  We have the ability to help them become the very best that they can be.  And just as every puppy born to be a service dog doesn't make that final cut and go on to a service job, they all go on to be well-loved, devoted companions, whose friendly disposition is cherished.  Survival of the friendliest indeed.

So, go take your dog for a stroll, hand them a cookie, show them some love, or all of the above.  They deserve it.

And, as always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here's Westley, my daughter's ESA, emotional support animal, laying across her body to comfort her and help her relax for bed.  And he's doing it with collie style; notice those crossed paws!

Kids & Dogs: More Thoughts On Them Both!

I was talking with a new client via Zoom over the weekend who was considering a dog for her kids (two boys ages 4 and 7) as a Hanukkah gift.  While I appreciated that she thought her boys were ready for this commitment, I don't think the holidays are the optimal time to gift a pet of any kind to anyone, let alone young children.  Too much chaos, too much excitement, and too many chances for the gift to be more than anyone can handle this time of year.  But beyond that, I had to find a nice way to tell her that I didn't think her boys were ready for a dog yet. I was able to see her boys and interact with them during our video consultation and I just don't think they are ready for what living with a dog entails. After our appointment was done, I asked if I could share her story as long as no names were used and she gave a definitive yes as she felt like I'd helped her "dodge a bullet" with my advice.

These two boys were like most of the little boys I meet; they were running around the house, playing with plastic light sabers first and then a nerf ball.  They never walked anywhere, not once!  Every time they moved they either sprinted, skipped, or vaulted off of a piece of furniture!  When they finally settled down, I saw them lying on the floor, game controllers in hand, and popcorn in a big bowl set between them. All I could picture was a puppy chasing these kids, grabbing light sabers and clothing, tackling kids on the floor, and then eating an entire bowl of popcorn! And, yes, I've seen it before.  More than once.

While I love watching kids and dogs play together, and I do believe that having any pet increases a child's empathy for others, there is no set age when getting your child a dog (or a cat, rabbit, or guinea pig) is the right thing to do. In fact, I've been in homes where toddlers are doing really well with the family dog or cat, and I've also been in homes where the teens weren't appropriate with the pets. So, you see, it isn't the age of your kids that determines if they are ready for a family pet; it's the personalities of the kids, their temperaments, and how their activity level will be impacted by the addition of a pet.  

I know I spend a lot of time talking about being careful to select a dog whose temperament, exercise requirements, etc. suits your lifestyle, but it's equally important to make sure your lifestyle, and the fact that you have kids or grandkids in your home, fits the dog's needs as well.  And, yes, after 30,000 years of co-evolution with dogs we've selected for dogs with temperaments that are suited to family life, that doesn't mean that EVERY dog is suited to family life.  For example, it might seem that a little dog like a teacup poodle or chihuahua might be a good choice for kids because they can dress the dog up, push it around in a stroller, and carry it everywhere, but here's the thing.  Many of those tiny breed dogs don't actually like being dressed up or picked up all the time.  They might tolerate an adult who feeds them doing it, but they might snap at or bite a child for doing the same thing. Those little dogs have a bit less patience with rude human behavior than their larger counterparts.  That isn't to say that a Bernese Mountain Dog doesn't have limits with the amount of bad human behavior they are willing to put up with, because I'm certain they do.  It's just that that Berner is going to be a bit more forgiving.  But a bite is a bite is a bite; if your kids aren't able to respect a dog or cat's boundaries and heed those obvious body language cues, then you aren't ready for a dog or cat in your home, no matter how much everyone says they want one.

Please keep in mind too that options for dogs and cats are limited once they've bitten someone, even if that bite was an accident or the result of getting overstimulated or from inappropriate handling by your kids. Dogs and cats who bite are a liability and hard to re-home, so don't set those pets up to fail from the get-go.  Work with your kids to understand all that goes into having a family pet.  Take classes even before you get a puppy or dog.  Introduce your kids to books on canine or feline body language and make a game out of reading what dogs and cats you see in your neighborhood are "saying."  Here are my two favorite books, both by the same author, on body language in cats and dogs:

"Doggie Language: A Dog Lover's Guide to Understanding Your Best Friend, " by Lili Chin

"Kitty Language: An Illustrated Guide to Understanding Your Cat," by Lili Chin

Even if your child is a pre-reader, the illustrations in these books are entertaining and clear, allowing you to explain what they are seeing and talk about what those behaviors mean. 

Finally, if your kids ARE ready for a pet, the holidays is definitely not the time to do it.  There is just too much going on this time of year; getting a pet will add to your stress and that's the last thing you want to do to a brand new feline or canine family member. And, yes, I realize the kids are home with time on their hands to (hopefully) bond with a new pet and establish a routine, but, again, the holidays are chaotic in most homes and not ideal for introducing a new pet to your family.  Doors get left open and pets escape; food is out on low tables, tempting those new pets; Christmas trees have yummy smelling (toxic) water under them; there are ornaments, tinsel, Poinsettia, mistletoe, etc. that are hazardous.  And the list goes on and on. If you want to get a pet when your kids are off from school, wait until spring break or the summer to get a pet. Truly, though, a random week in January or February still beats December, even if your kids are gone to school most of the day.  That gives you time to set up the ground rules for that new pet and we all know the adults do the bulk of the work when it comes to pets anyway!

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

This is 7 year old me and my 6 week old West Highland White Terrier puppy, Tosh. I had been wanting a dog since I could speak, but my parents waited until I was old enough to help care for the dog.  And care for him I did; I was the one who fed him, walked him, cleaned up behind him, and trained him.  My dad always liked to say he covered the dog's expenses and that was enough!

Guilty As Charged!

I met with a new client this week whose initial email message was filled with guilt and regret.  Guilt over getting a dog during the pandemic, only to return to working in the office full-time this year, and leaving him home alone five days a week.  She regrets getting a dog because now he is having all sorts of behavior problems related to separation anxiety.  Her remorse over getting this dog, a dog that she clearly loves deeply, is ultimately leading to issues in anxiety and depression for her as well.

Her feelings are not unique. Many dog owners felt guilty returning to their offices post-pandemic. And a couple of recent studies have shown that pet owner guilt over returning to the workplace closely resembles the guilt felt by parents of young children trying to balance work and home life. Given that 85% of dog owners and 75% of cat owners in the U.S. consider their pets to be family members, this isn't all that surprising.

Here's a quick summary of what dog owners in these two studies felt guilty about: Being away from home/having to go to work; not enough time in the day to pay attention to their dogs; neglecting their dog's physical health (missed walks, trips to the park, etc.); and leaving their dogs alone. Interestingly enough, the two populations in the study who felt the most conflicted with the demands of their jobs versus the demands of dog ownership were men and dog owners younger than 50 years of age. So, how do people compensate for this guilt?  Almost half of the study participants skipped out on social events to avoid leaving their dogs home alone and a third of the participants admitted (guiltily!) that they spend time with their dogs at the expense of other, human, family members. While overall the participants tried to remind themselves that their dogs had good lives and that helped them process their guilt better, 40% just felt defeated, and resigned themselves to feeling guilty about having a dog in the first place.

The worst part about all of this is the fact that dog owners with the highest guilt about owning dogs were also the ones with the highest scores for anxiety and depression for themselves. My new client was clearly one of these unfortunate people. Just reminding her that all of her overwhelming anxiety was going to make things worse for her dog, who clearly felt her emotions, reflecting them back to her, was not going to help.  We needed an action plan, some things she could easily do to decrease the pressure she felt to be "the perfect dog mom."

I began by telling her that she wasn't alone and giving her those stats I summarized for you up above.  I followed this with a few suggestions designed to give her some immediate relief.  I helped her reach out to five of her dog-loving friends to form a dog-sitting collective.  Two of the women in this collective didn't own dogs themselves because they lived in apartments that didn't allow pets, but they loved dogs and missed the companionship, so we included them. A schedule was devised for the month of December which allowed all of the participants to attend holiday parties, festive events with family and other friends, run errands, and even work outside the home.  We couldn't cover every person's workday, but for three of the participants working from home, adding a second dog (all of the dogs in this group were sociable!) wasn't a problem for their workday AND was something they thought their singleton dogs would look forward to...a playmate for the day! For the remaining workdays for my client whose dog was suffering from separation anxiety, we resolved to send her dog to daycare on those days. Just knowing that her friends were in this with her, willing to help, AND giving her an opportunity to help each of them as well, brought immediate relief and a feeling of accomplishment; they could take care of each other and their dogs.

I'm greatly looking forward to this group's progress report at the end of the month.  While I know my client will continue to see her own healthcare professionals to treat her anxiety and depression, my hope is that I at least played a small role in reducing her guilt and helping her dog with his separation anxiety. Her dog is lucky to have an owner who loves and cares about him so profoundly.  And she's lucky too as he clearly adores her.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

They try to make me feel guilty about not sharing my snacks with them, but otherwise are supportive and very good boys whether I am home with them or not.

Happy Thanksgiving, Paw-Friends!

My dogs love sweet potatoes and I roast them for myself all the time, sharing a few bites with them before I add the oil and spices for roasting.  Lucky for them, I always buy extra potatoes so I can make them one of their favorite, low calorie dog treats.  These treats are easy to make, though they do take time in your oven, so make them in advance of the holidays, and store in an airtight container in your refrigerator for up to three weeks. That way, you'll have a nutritious treat to give your dogs all through the holiday season.  And the best part?  These are Ozzie, Henley and Westley approved!

Sweet Potato Bites

Preheat your oven to 250 degrees

Line two baking sheets with parchment paper

Wash two medium or one large sweet potato

Use a sharp knife or a mandoline slicer to slice your potatoes into 1/4 inch thick, round slices

Arrange on the baking sheets so the slices don't touch

Bake 2.5 to 3 hours, flipping the slices halfway through

Slices should appear dried out with crispy edges and chewy centers,

 so adjust your bake time accordingly

Allow to cool completely before storing

I hope your dogs enjoy these as much as mine do and they are a much safer option for treating your dogs than many of the other offerings at your holiday table.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Learning to Entertain Themselves

When my daughter was born years ago, one piece of advice I received time and again from veteran parents was this: Don't spend all of your time entertaining your kids; they need to be able to keep themselves occupied without constant parental engagement. My daughter didn't always make it easy to keep her occupied on her own, but I persevered and then did the same thing with my son. Interestingly enough, that same advice really should be given to every prospective dog owner when they acquire their first dog. While it became a huge problem following COVID lock-down when everyone was no longer stuck inside for days and weeks on end, the problem of over-indulgent dog owners, unwilling or unable to get their dogs to entertain themselves, has persisted. Right now, I average three calls a week from dog owners who are at their wit's end with puppies or dogs who simply cannot entertain themselves.  So, what's going on here?

When you bring home a puppy, you need to get them onto a schedule as quickly as you can. That schedule should include non-negotiable naps, in a crate, in a room, away from you. Not only does this encourage quality naps, it also teaches your puppy that it's okay to be away from you.  Puppies who take naps alone learn to soothe themselves and also entertain themselves if they wake up before you are there to let them out. If, instead, you let your puppy nap wherever they happen to be, or in a pen in the room where you are, you are not teaching them to be independent; on the contrary, you are teaching them to be wholly dependent on you for even the most basic thing, falling asleep!

Beyond nap time, puppies should spend alone time in an exercise pen or playpen with toys, puzzles, and activities to keep them occupied and mentally stimulated. You should not have to train, play, or entertain your puppy constantly while they are awake. Again, they need to understand that having 100% of their humans' attention isn't a sustainable option.  If your puppy fusses in the pen, ignoring those toys and puzzles, move away and out of sight and see if they'll occupy themselves then.  Many of them do once they realize the humans aren't going to scoop them up immediately.  If your pup continues to fuss in the pen or escalates to barking, pawing at the pen, or trying to climb out, scoop them up, take them outside to toilet and sniff, and then bring them right back to the pen. That way, they learn that fussing doesn't get them anything more than a bathroom break. Schedule one-on-one play time, training time, and leash walks the same way you plan those naps. In between times, your puppies should be entertaining themselves.

For adolescent and adult dogs who don't require enforced naps and playpens, you will still want to encourage and reward them for occupying themselves.  Use bones, stuffed Kong toys, lick mats, puzzles, etc. daily to keep them entertained.  If they start whining for your attention, shoving on you with their nose or jumping into your lap uninvited, slough them off and ignore them for a minute.  Follow that up by redirecting to the activity you gave them to do.  You decide when the walks, play time, and adventures happen, not your dog.  If you allow your dog to dictate how you spend your day, you will quickly discover that you have no time for yourself and are literally spending your whole day entertaining your canine companion.

I've had a lot of folks try to do what I've outlined above and then come back frustrated saying, "He's just so high energy!  He needs me to throw the ball constantly or he'll be tearing up my house!" Now, this is a separate, but related, issue.  Dogs need an appropriate balance of physical and mental exercise.  Those dogs who are bouncing off of the walls are often the ones not getting enough of either.  Train yourself to walk your dog twice a day for at least 45 minutes each walk, focusing on letting them sniff and explore.  If they like to play fetch, that's fine, schedule a session of fetch, but not at the expense of a walk.  Then, change up the way you feed your dog, opting out of bowl feeding and choosing instead to feed your dog using puzzles or games that make them think before they eat.  Dogs are foragers by nature; feeding them in bowls, even slow feeder bowls, isn't much of a challenge.  Throwing a cup of kibble out on the grass for them to forage and find their meal? Now, that's a challenge! Don't have a lawn? Fine, just bury the food in a sturdy snuffle mat or snuffle ball to encourage independent foraging. 

Finally, it's also often the case that these dogs who can't entertain themselves are also dogs with rather poor manners.  This means that your training sessions should focus on more than just sits and downs, but with an eye toward more important life skills like go to your bed/mat; stay; off; and go play, which is basically just a directional command to go entertain themselves.  If your dog is having trouble or you are finding it hard to motivate to teach them these manners, sign up for a class!  There are some great basic manners and holiday manners classes out there at your disposal.  Classes are great for accountability for you AND for your dog.

As I am writing this, Ozzie is sound asleep on the bed in the corner of my office, while Henley is in the window seat, chewing on a bone he found, on his own, at the bottom of his toy basket.  He is very good at entertaining himself and you know what? I take full credit for that!  I learned what to do (and what not to do!) 25 years ago when my daughter was born!

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me. 

Henley dropped the bone off the bench where he'd been chewing on it, followed by a dramatic yawn meant to get my attention. You already know I did not pick up that bone and hand it to him!  He can do that all on his own. Which he promptly did after posing for this picture.

It's a Matter of Timing

Everything is a matter of timing, right?  Researching a new canine or feline family member, locating them, getting on waiting lists, etc., it's all about timing.  Everyone wants to get it "just right," which I understand, I really do.  And while I do think it's important not to rush to get a new pet as often that means settling for one you might not ordinarily choose, and I also think getting pets during the holidays is a terrible idea, beyond that, I don't really think timing is as big of an issue when it comes to acquiring a new pet.  You want to know where I do think timing is a big issue?  When offering reinforcement to your pets, whether that reinforcement is positive, negative, or just plain inadvertent, I think timing is everything.  Here's why.

We are all products of reinforcement.  We're told we'll get a pay bump if we finish a project, add an account, or work more overtime.  That pay bump is reinforcement and even though it may not be immediate, we do what it takes to reach that goal. I believe that while humans can perform reasonably well with delayed reinforcement, we, too, prefer quicker payoffs.  For our pets, quicker payoffs is always their goal.  To tell a dog, "Hey, if you keep performing well in this six week class, I'll take you to the store and let you pick a toy on the last day!" isn't going to guarantee that they do that.  In fact, if you don't offer intermittent rewards along the way, in each of those classes, you are likely to lose their attention, and the trust of your canine companion.  Timing is everything in this case.  Whether you are training a new behavior, perfecting a known behavior, or extinguishing a behavior you don't like, you need to offer your reinforcement, whatever that may be, within seconds of your pet doing the behavior. If you have to go to the kitchen, cut up some cheese, and come back to reward your dog, the moment is lost and you'll likely just be rewarding them for following you to the kitchen!  This is why I truly believe and encourage everyone I know, dog and cat owners alike, to keep treats in their pocket at all times.  This means tangible reinforcement can be offered at any time, allowing you to capture and mark behaviors "in real time" versus just during training exercises.  Yes, it's true, you could simply tell your pet that they did a great job, or give them a pat on the head or booty scratch, we know for a fact that pets prefer edible rewards to just verbal or physical rewards.  We also know, for a fact, that they learn faster and retain more when there are food rewards.  But, again, timing is everything.

Sometimes it just isn't feasible to reinforce within seconds of a behavior, so do you just throw up your hands and say, "Oh, well?"  No, of course not. Instead, layer your reinforcement.  Tell your pet "Yes!" to mark the behavior as something you liked or "No!" for something you didn't.  Then, move toward them and either get them to repeat the behavior OR redirect them to the appropriate behavior, and hopefully by this point you are able to dig a treat out of your pocket and apply that important reinforcer, the tangible one that they will actually remember.

For those of you with anxious pets, offering food rewards is often harder than it is for your friends with their non-anxious companions.  Anxiety creates a situation inside of us and our pets where eating isn't priority, survival is.  You will need to get a handle on your pet's anxiety first, that way they can relax and focus on what you are teaching them, and be able to take those treats that are going to reinforce those new, less anxiety-provoking behaviors.  Once again, timing is key.  If your pet is anxious and you are trying to bribe or distract them with food, this isn't going to work, and in fact, it's going to slow everything down and make you seem less trustworthy.  If instead you work through that anxious moment, trying redirection, moving away, or simply just being supportive until the moment passes, and then ask for a simple behavior that allows your pet to focus and reset, followed by offering a treat, you are on the right track, and your timing was perfect.

I was working with a client yesterday who was amazed by my ability to get her dog focused and redirected out in public when normally he is so distracted, pulling on the leash, darting around, and snuffling everything on the ground.  It wasn't magic, folks. I simply had treats ready in my pocket, and two at the ready between my own front teeth, so that when I got her dog redirected and focused on me rather than the ground, other dogs, etc., I had the reward out of my mouth and into that dog's mouth within a couple of seconds. Timing is everything. And not being grossed out by having dog treats in your own mouth!

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Henley is a ready pupil, eyes on me, focused and ready to work.  He makes training easy because he's not anxious and almost always ridiculously joyful. That doesn't mean I don't still need to be good about my timing of reinforcement for him, it just means I have a bit more wiggle room.

The Benefits of Pet Ownership Revisited

There have been quite a few scientific studies of late looking at the health benefits (or lack thereof) to pet ownership and humans interacting with animals in general. For years, I've been referencing research done in the 80's that demonstrated that petting and interacting with animals lowered heart rates and respiratory rates, helped build confidence in young readers, and led to feelings of belonging and acceptance.  Now, however, new studies are coming out, and being replicated, which show with statistical significance that there are no marked benefits to pet ownership or interacting with animals. This blows my mind every single time I read one of these studies. How can that even be possible?!

You guys know me. I'm a scientist at heart.  I trust well thought out and executed studies with large sample sizes and replicable results.  But this current vein of research is really leaving me adrift. I keep returning to a 2022 survey done by HABRI, the Human Animal Relations Research Institute in Washington D.C. that found that 74% of pet owners said owning a pet improved their mental health. In fact, 67% said their pets make them feel happy; 51% said their pets comfort them when they feel sad; 48% said their pets make them feel less lonely; 43% said their pets gave them a sense of purpose; 36% said their pets kept them more active; and 17% said their pets helped them make community connections. This was a global study reaching statistical significance due to the large sample size.  But this new research seems to be pointing out that while people may feel or believe pets benefit them in this way, there is no proof in terms of health markers for any of these HABRI study results.

So, why am I telling you this?  Well, I've come to a new conclusion, at least for myself. I don't really care what the new research shows! I firmly believe that having pets and interacting with animals improves the lives of humans. I've seen it with my own two eyes and experienced it myself.  I don't need to have it proven in a study or in a controlled laboratory setting. I just know it in my heart.  And, more importantly, I hope you know it too.  Our pets are making a difference in our lives and the lives of others in our communities every single day.  Whether those differences are quantifiable isn't really important.  What's important is that we believe it. I will continue to do pet therapy visits and promote pet assisted therapy work with the assumption that interacting with animals on those visits improves the quality of life and health and well-being of the folks we serve in our communities. And, I will continue to have pets in my home as I find their presence comforting and supportive.  I'm still a believer.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here's my sweet Desi, the consummate pet therapy dog, working his magic on a young girl, and on me, simultaneously. He was just that good.