Is This My Fault?

I get asked that a lot by pet owners.  They feel anxious and overwhelmed and are afraid that they've done something that has led their pet to have a behavior problem. They express concern that they actively did something, or neglected to do something, and thus their pet needs my help.  While I understand that it's human nature to want to place the blame somewhere, so to speak, it isn't productive in the case of pet behavior problems, nor is it helpful.  In fact, spending a lot of time worrying about whether you're responsible for your pet's behavior problem is time wasted!  So, let's just clear the air right off the bat.  No.  You are not the reason your pet has a behavior problem.  You may be, however, the reason the problem persists.  Let's take a look at a couple of examples.

Let's say your dog jumps up on people.  You may tell your dog to get down or tell him, "Off!," but he persists in jumping up. You volunteer that your son encourages the dog to jump up on him, placing his big paws on your son's shoulders and licking his face! You think this is cute BUT you don't want the dog jumping on your elderly mother or your granddaughter.  So, while this is not your fault per se, you are the reason the problem of your dog jumping up on people persists.  Dogs generalize; if one person loves them jumping up, then all people must like that.  For your dog and their terminal toddler brain, the people who don't like the jumping are in the minority!  To get your dog to stop jumping up period, you will need to stop rewarding and reinforcing the behavior cold turkey.  Now when your dog jumps up, you won't bother with no, off, down, or letting him lick your face.  No. Now what you will do is turn and walk away, or walk right through them, and remove yourself and ANY form of attention, positive or negative.  It will be a rough couple of weeks, but your dog will see that jumping up is no longer what people want from him.  At that point, you can start reinforcing your dog and rewarding him for having four feet on the ground at all times.

Time for a more serious problem.  Your dog tries to bite you if you pet them when they are laying on the couch.  Someone might tell you this is your fault for letting the dog up on the couch, but that's not really true.  After 30,000+ years of co-evolution, humans have selected for dogs that don't behave aggressively toward people.  Thus, any dog who is aggressive toward people is the exception, the outlier, not the rule.  You are the source of all good things for your dog, so why would he lash out at you for showing him attention and affection? Here's the answer: Your dog is a resource guarder and your couch, and his resting spot on there, are defensible resources.  You could simply stop trying to pet your dog when he's on the couch, thus avoiding a potential confrontation, but better still, just don't let him up there anymore.  Block his access to the room or the sofa, turn the cushions up sideways so it's no longer fun to be up there, or use a tether on him that only allows him to lay on his bed or the floor, but not the furniture. You may feel sad that your dog can't be on the couch with you anymore, but truly, not having him up there is safer for you in the long run and avoids any possible aggressive outbursts.  Aggression isn't a curable problem, but this management solution will make it safer for everyone, guests included.

I hope this brings some of you a modicum of relief.  You aren't the reason your pet has a behavior problem, but maybe now you can see how your behavior has, unfortunately, helped the problem to persist and maybe blossom into a larger issue.  And that's where I come in, right?

As always, if you questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Henley is allowed on the couch because he's never tried to defend his spot from me, or anyone else for that matter, including the other dogs.  You can pet him, hug him, kiss him, or tell him to move off the couch, and he's fine with all of that.  This has less to do with me as his owner and more to do with who he is as a dog.  He understood the (co-evolution) assignment!

Board & Train: Just Some Thoughts

I probably get asked five times a week for a referral to a board and train or for my thoughts on board and train experiences for dogs. I'm happy to share my thoughts with clients (and here, of course!), but I want to make one thing perfectly clear.  I am not here to argue.  What follows is my opinion, based on almost 35 years worth of experience, which is what my clients have asked for anyway, so here goes.

No, I am not going to recommend a board and train for your dog.  No, I've never heard of one that actually worked, long term, to improve a dog's life. And, no, I don't do board and train myself. Now that I've gotten all of that out of the way, let me explain why.

Board and trains, by their very nature, are places where people take their dogs and leave them, to be trained by someone else, for varying lengths of time.  At some of these places, dog owners must come weekly, for example, to work with their dog and a trainer, or participate in group training, but for many board and trains, dog owners do not participate in their dog's "re-boot." I've never understood how anything a dog learns at boot camp will carry over to their owner's home if the owners themselves don't participate in the process.  So, I guess what I'm saying is this:  Owners should board and train with their dogs at boot camp. Trainers need to change the owner's behavior as much as they change the dogs.  Sending them home with a summary, a book, or outlines isn't going to do the trick.  The humans are going to go right back to their old ways making the entire experience a waste of time and money and unncessary stress for the dog who had to go through it.

I've been sent links to several board and trains that guarantee their results.  I see in the fine print that those guarantees hinge on owners continuing the use of "training collars."  Training collars, correction collars, tap collars, whatever you want to call them, I call them shock collars because that's what they are.  Yes, these collars have other settings that vibrate and beep, but the bottom line is that they use punishment to get compliance from your dog.  AND they want you to continue to do that at home. If you are okay with this and it works for you, I suppose that's fine. I will never use an electronic collar on one of my dogs, on one of my client's dogs, or recommend them to anyone.  Ok, I'm going to have to digress for a moment and share a story with you.

In 1991, I was teaching a puppy class in Del Mar, California, an upscale beach community near San Diego.  There were six puppies and owners in the class, one of whom was a German Shepherd puppy with his owner, a retired Marine.  All of the puppies were, well, puppies.  They jumped up, they mouthed people, they barked, and they chewed on their leashes as they resisted walking nicely.  Again, all very normal for a puppy class. Well, the Marine wasn't having it.  He brought his puppy to the third class wearing an electronic collar.  I observed him shocking that puppy when he tried to greet one of the women in class by jumping up on her for a treat.  The puppy yelped, peed, and slunk under the bench.  The Marine smiled, the woman was horrified, and I decided then and there to make an example of this man.  I asked him if he'd tried the collar on himself, just to make sure it was working properly and he knew what the experience would be like for his dog.  He told me that there was no need to do that because he'd spent a fortune on this collar AND he was a retired Marine, a shock would be nothing to him.  I'm sure you know where this is going.  I asked if he'd be willing to show the class this and of course he said yes!  I took the collar off of the dog and took the remote from him.  I fitted the collar on his bare neck and glanced at the remote.  I asked him if he wanted me to use the same "tap" he'd given his dog (a setting of 5 on this remote), or go a little easier since this was just a demonstration, after all.  He replied, whatever works is fine with me.  Wrong thing to say.  I gave him a quick beep and then dialed it up to just 4 and shocked him.  He dropped to one knee and clutched at his neck.  His puppy licked his face and the women in class snickered. I very innocently asked if he wanted me turn it up to the level he'd used on his dog and he said no, that was enough, I'd made my point.  And indeed I had.  Never subject your dog to one of these things if you're not willing to try it on yourself. Dog necks are actually more sensitive than human necks, something this man was surprised to learn.  Nonetheless, I thanked him for helping the class to better understand why this training tool was not something I'd recommend.  The bottom line:  I got much better participation and follow through by the Marine, and by the other people in class, after this demonstration.  So, maybe shock collars are good for something after all!

So, why don't I offer my own board and train experience?  While it might seem lucrative to do so, again, I don't think there is a lot of value in working with dogs without their owners involved.  So, to be successful, I'd have to operate a B & B experience for dog owners where they stay and work with their dogs and with me, in the hopes that the behavioral changes stick.  The problem is, I really think dogs are different when they aren't at home. They are a little less sure, a bit uneasy, a bit more compliant.  For it to work, I'd have to go live with them in their home (think, the Supernanny TV program!), and I'm just not doing that, though I've had people ask me to!

There just really aren't any quick fixes when it comes to dog training.  You have to put in the time yourself, perhaps with a dog trainer you trust to do right by you and your dog.  And if you're doing it all yourself, and getting frustrated, then definitely seek the help of a professional!  You shouldn't feel so frustrated that you question your relationship with your dog. I had a client tell me just this week that while she loved her dog, she didn't really like him, and that stuck with me.  I'm glad she reached out for help from me because I think, together, we can turn that around for both of them.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here's Ozzie doing a bit of training research on his own for an activity in the Dog Aging Project. He's stuck with me as his "trainer" for this study, but if I need help, I know who to call ;)

The Best Advice!

A couple of years ago, I was asked by an interviewer to share my five favorite pieces of advice for pet owners.  I blogged on that topic, so you can still find that post if you want to read it again (or for the first time!).  I was interviewed again this week, and lo and behold, asked that same question!  I didn't want to give those same answers because the truth of the matter is, I have lots of favorites when it comes to helping pets and their people.  So, here are five pieces of advice I love and that I shared with the interviewer this time around:

1. It's okay to sleep with your pets on your bed. As long as you doing so isn't unsafe for you or for them, that is.  If you are living with an aggressive pet, it simply isn't a good idea to have them on your bed, and it may in fact not be a safe idea to have them in your bedroom at all. You don't want to risk bumping them, rolling over on them, or stepping on them, for example, if doing so could trigger an aggressive or defensive response.  For dogs and cats who bite their owners, being out of the bedroom is just a good safety measure.  For some senior pets, extra precautions need to be put in place to make sure that they can safely remain on the bed with you.  You may need bed bumpers to keep them from falling out or jumping off, or it may be safer to crate them in your bedroom so that they can still be near you, but not risk falling or startling them when you move in bed at night. And even if the aggression isn't directed at you, if it's directed at a spouse, that's still a problem.  Dogs who resource guard their owners or their owner's beds do not belong on the bed at all!

2.  Dogs need more than daily walks to be happy. It's true that in the 70's and 80's, dog owners were told that walking their dogs twice daily (in addition to their daily meals) was all that they needed to be happy and healthy. We now know that simply wasn't true.  Dogs can and do lead active lives filled with social experiences, opportunities for problem solving, sniffaris, and play time. Frankly, I think those dogs of my childhood were bored out of their minds.  It's no wonder they ran off if someone left the door open!  Dogs do need daily physical exercise, that's true.  But they also need lots of mental stimulation including opportunities to solve problems (think food puzzles here), chew on bones (they have the teeth for it), and play with toys that you rotate to maintain interest and enthusiasm. 

3.  Cats need more than a full food bowl to be happy. We've come a long way in our understanding of what our feline friends need to be content and well-adjusted too.  They certainly need to be fed, but that food doesn't need to be provided in a never-empty-food-bowl.  Cats are predators who like to hunt, so let them hunt for food you've hidden, or use food-based puzzles designed for cats to feed them their meals.  Cats need perches, climbing opportunities, and scratching options. While you might feel that one vertical cat tree is enough, your cat begs to differ.  They want shelves, cubbies, and cat trees that go all the way to the ceiling, incorporating hiding areas and different scratching and rubbing opportunities.  They also want more litter boxes!  The rule of thumb is one litter box, per cat, plus one, all cleaned daily, and fully cleaned weekly.

4.  Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I never had pet insurance on any of my pets until I got Henley.  I decided that he would be my first collie to have it, affording me a better understanding of the pet insurance market and how having insurance for him might be helpful for his long-term care.  Well, boy am I glad I did! Henley has had a ton of issues related to his serious allergies and once we got through the initial period of time establishing his allergic conditions, most of his care related to his allergies has been covered by his insurance. Whew!  My wallet is grateful for that.  Now, when asked, I always recommend that pet owners look at pet insurance for their new additions and use Henley as an example!

5.  Dogs do dream and they dream about YOU. The vast majority of a dog's memories are about you, so make the most of their short time on this planet. Make sure their dreams are beautiful, their experiences enriching, and their lives filled with love, opportunities, and plentiful delicious snacks.

Yeah, you're right.  Ozzie and Henley made me throw in that part about the snacks.  Go figure.

And, as always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here is one of my favorite pictures of Westley asleep in my daughter's bed.  Not on her bed, but under the covers, AND using the pillows!  Westley is a bed hog and will definitely get moved over to one side when my daughter climbs into bed, but he won't take offense and will find a way to spoon with her as soon as she gets comfy.  Nothing that needs fixing here!

What Does it Mean?

As many of you know, I'm teaching a seminar on body language right now for one of my favorite dog trainers.  I love when she invites me to teach seminars for her as I get to meet some really fantastic dog owners in the process!  During the first meeting (there are just two meetings in this seminar series), I got some great questions which all seemed to start with the phrase, "What does it mean when...?"  Here's one of those questions and why I felt it was really important to share the question and my response here with you as well.

A class participant wanted to know what it meant when her dog climbed up her body, front legs around her neck, and stretched himself so he could rest his head on top of hers.  Another dog owner in class added that she'd always understood behavior like that to be about the dog asserting dominance over the owner.  At this point, a cute, large breed puppy attending class with her owner, proceeded to demonstrate what this looks like, by scaling her way into her owner's lap, sighing happily and resting her head on her owner's shoulder. We all laughed as clearly, at least far as this puppy was concerned, such behavior wasn't about dominance.  So why do dogs do this?  The answer is very simple: They do this to seek attention through physical connection with us. It's a display of contentment and affection and meant to communicate their feelings of comfort with us. Dogs do a version of this with each other too.  The classic "dog pile," a heap of tired dogs, all sleeping on top of or over one another, is about physical connection, contentment, and affiliation.  It's also great for keeping warm!

Now, sure, some dogs who are feeling insecure will also climb up onto their owners as a way to escape what is making them fearful, but, again, they are seeking closeness with their humans in order to feel less stressed and anxious.  It's a compliment, really, that they feel like you can make the icky stuff go away for them.  They trust you to fix it. And after 30,000 years of coevolution, it's our job to fix it, right?

It is an outdated idea that a dog putting its head on your shoulder or head, putting its paws on your shoulders in a hug, or a dog jumping into your lap, etc. are about dominance.  Those types of archaic notions end up hurting dogs and their relationship with their humans.  If you, for example, were to correct your dog for these behaviors, I'm certain that they would eventually stop doing them, but what a shame!  Stopping them from showing affection, attention, and affiliation?  Discouraging them from showing you how much they appreciate your bond with them?  Sounds cruel and unnecessary to me.  Dogs deserve better; they deserve people making a wholehearted attempt to understand where they are coming from and what they are trying to say, without words, using their bodies.  And this, my friends, is why I teach this body language seminar every chance I get.  Dogs need my help to teach their owners what they are "saying" and I'm here for that every single time.

And, as always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Henley loves to cuddle and always has.  As a puppy, he'd want to be picked up and held, often riding on shoulders as you see in this photo.  As a 75 lb young adult dog now, he still likes to lay on laps, and he sleeps with me at night, his head across my neck.  I feel privileged that he's chosen me as his person and our relationship is strong and built on trust, love, mutual understanding, and plenty of cookies!

Routine Maintenance

I took my car in for service last week.  It was just routine maintenance (oil change, tire, rotation, etc.) and I'm sure you know the drill when it comes to maintaining your vehicle to keep it in good working condition.  While I was waiting for my car to be done, I got to thinking about routine maintenance as it applies to other things.  Which, of course, led me to thinking about our pets and what "routine maintenance" could mean for them, beyond the obvious yearly (or biannual, if your pet is a senior) physical exam and blood work.

If your pet had a behavior problem and you solved it, kudos to you!  But did you realize that you have to keep doing routine maintenance with them to ensure that the problem doesn't return AND to make sure that you are still reinforcing them for the absence of that behavior problem? Let me give you an example.

Let's say your dog was previously fearful of riding in the car.  You worked with him slowly, getting him used to being around the car while you washed it, perhaps, building up to sitting in the car with the doors open and then closed. And you slowly worked your way to starting the car in the driveway, and then to a slow drive around the block.  Eventually, you worked up to longer distances away, all the while reinforcing your dog for not being afraid of the car. You used really high value treats to do this and lots of praise.  Now, your dog rides in the car like a champ, even getting excited when you ask him if he wants to go for a ride, tail wagging in anticipation.  Did you notice, however, that he drools a bit, licks his lips, or seems to be looking at you for a treat while wagging that tail in anticipation of the car ride?  He's doing that because he's actually anticipating the positive reinforcement (the yummy, high value treats) that you desensitized him to the car with! Sure, you could pat him on the head and tell him he's a good boy, but really, he wants that treat, the one that rewarded him all those times before for being brave and learning to deal with a moving vehicle.  So, what does this mean for you?  It just means that you should still use treats for car rides.  You don't need to use as many, but you should certainly use a few.  Maybe one for being happy to go with you to the car, and another for getting in, and maybe one more when you get home from the car ride. Thus, you are reinforcing the absence of his fear, ensuring that he still understands how rewarding it is to NOT be afraid of car rides.

Now, I'm not suggesting you dish out treats for every behavior that your dog knows and that you wish to see maintained. I am, however, suggesting that you think about it a little bit more and keep yourself prepared.  While your dog knows to sit when asked, perhaps a treat when he does so without being asked AND when he's being approached by a stranger for attention, might be a good time to reinforce that basic behavior as part of his routine maintenance. In order to do this, all you would need to remember to do is to keep treats in your pocket.  And, seriously, who doesn't have treats in their pocket? I know I do!

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Westley used to hate riding in the car. He'd quiver, pant, drool, and sometimes vomit.  Clearly he was afraid of the car and ultimately getting carsick as well, but living with my daughter meant lots of car rides in his life, some quite long road trips, so we needed to help him move through his fears right off the bat.  We worked with Westley during his first summer with us, building up his tolerance and ultimately his enjoyment of car rides. Now, he rides in the car like a champ, often trying to "call shotgun" as you see in this photo. He's a happy car companion now, and we definitely do routine maintenance with him to make sure he stays that way.

Blended Families

In last week's blog post, I mentioned dogs that don't like kids.  Yes, it's true.  There are a lot of dogs who really don't like kids, their own family's or otherwise.  A lot of dogs just learn to tolerate kids. And there are some dogs whose behavior is incompatible with life in a home with children.  All joking aside, you can't get rid of the kids, so it's usually the dog that has to move on to a new home.  Truly moving the dog on to a better living situation is key, no matter how much you love your dog.  You want to protect your dog (and your kids); having your dog pushed to his limits, to the point of aggression, will limit his options for a new home environment.  Better to help him find that space before one of your kids gets bitten.  Which brings me to a client I saw early this week, after she'd read my blog last week.  Here's her story with some details changed to protect her privacy, but she wanted her story shared.

My client married her husband last summer and at that point they combined households; up until that time, she maintained her separate home which included her 5 year old, male, mixed breed dog and her fiance maintained his home which was pet-free, except for a pair of goldfish.  Her new husband also has two children under the age of 12 who live with him part-time.  During the period of time that they were together before they married, he brought his kids with him to her house to visit and they met her dog there.  For the most part, her dog avoided the kids, choosing to go hang out in his crate in her bedroom.  She had diligently explained to the kids that they shouldn't take this personally, and that they should respect his safe space and leave him alone while he was in there, which they did. Her husband-to-be kept saying, "Oh, he'll get used to the kids once he's around them more often," but my client knew otherwise in her heart of hearts.  You see, her dog didn't just avoid his kids, her dog avoided all kids. Kids in the neighborhood, her sister's kids, her best friend's kids, and kids in his puppy class when he was younger.  To put it plainly, her dog didn't like kids.  He was smart, however, and just avoided them, but she was worried about what would happen when they moved in together. 

Once they combined households, it went downhill pretty fast. It took time for her dog to adjust to the new home and not having his owner's undivided attention. Luckily, her new husband made an effort with the dog, taking him for walks, giving him treats, and playing fetch with him, his favorite game.  The problems really started when the kids were there every other weekend.  While he seemed to begrudgingly accept them there on Thursday nights for dinner (he just stayed in his crate), he was really discombobulated when they were there for two days straight. 

He began with some mild self-mutilation, chewing on his feet and tail until he created sores in those areas. He became reclusive on those weekends, rarely venturing out of his crate unless he had to use the bathroom.  His favorite time of day on those weekends were late evenings when the kids were in bed and he could quietly coexist with his adult humans. Her vet had recommended me after the self-mutilation was determined to be a behavior problem and not related to allergies, but the owner had waited, thinking her dog just needed time to adjust.  Unfortunately, she waited too long and her dog snapped at one of the kids, creating a huge issue for her new marriage and for her relationship with her new spouse's ex-wife who was livid that her kids were living in a home with an "aggressive dog."  This is when I finally came into the picture.

I suggested that we meet on neutral ground and have all the adults and the dog present.  Given the nature of what we were discussing, I thought it best for the kids not to be there.  I chose a park for us to meet and asked that the couple bring the dog a few minutes earlier, before the ex-wife arrived, so I could meet the dog ahead of time.  I found this dog to be bright, engaging, friendly but not effusive.  He was interested in me, took treats and responded to requests, even letting me walk him away from his owners on a leash, walking back without pulling.  He presented as a well-mannered, well-cared for dog.  He did not present as anxious, until a couple of kids entered the park and began kicking a ball near where we were meeting. He became wary at this point, choosing to lay down under the picnic table rather than out by the humans.  He kept an eye on those kids until they moved on.

I explained to this blended family that while I really liked this dog and thought he was a delightful companion animal, he was no longer the right animal for this family.  He was wonderful with adults, but clearly anxious with children and it was unfair to him to force him to live, albeit part-time, with kids.  He was never going to accept them, enjoy them, or want to be around them. No amount of training, treats, or coaxing was going to change that. While I've certainly met more than one dog whose affections for anyone could readily be bought with yummy treats, this dog was not one of them. He wanted nothing to do with those kids, really anyone's kids, and he'd made that quite clear. It was now up to the humans to set aside their feelings and do right by this dog. For the sake of her marriage and life now as a step-mother, and for the safety of the kids, my client needed to re-home her dog. 

As you might imagine, my client was devastated by this.  I told her that she shouldn't delay this as it would just make things harder for her and riskier for the kids as up until this point her dog had only hurt himself.  He'd warned the kids, but stopped there.  He could certainly move on to a bite and at that point he'd be much harder to place.  She knew she needed to find a home for him with someone outside her immediate circle of friends and family who all had kids or grandkids in their lives.  Ultimately, she found someone at work who was interested in taking him, a nice older woman without kids or grandkids, who had really wanted a dog but who didn't want to raise a puppy and go through puppyhood and adolescence. My client asked if I would meet with this new owner and help make the transition easier for all involved, which I will do.  So far, however, it seems like it's working out, so we'll see what happens once this dog settles into his new home environment.  I know one thing for sure:  Everyone is heaving a big sigh of relief.  This was a sad situation, but one that could have been much worse if they hadn't addressed it when they did.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Desi absolutely LOVED kids. Mine, the ones in our neighborhood, and even my friends' kids.  This made him an ideal therapy dog for schools and library visits.  Ozzie has learned to tolerate kids, but they aren't his favorite.  Henley and Westley love kids, which is really nice.  They'll be able to do therapy visits where kids are involved versus Ozzie whose visits are all with adults, which is his preference. 

I Understand Your Frustration!

I really do understand your frustration. It's infuriating when your cat marks indoors or your dog lunges and snaps at other dogs. I know you feel helpless when your dog tries to bite the mail carrier.  I know you feel like a bad pet parent when your cats aren't getting along or your dog doesn't like your kids.  I get it.  Behavior problems are a hassle.  If you've had pets for years and never experienced a behavior problem with one (or more!) of them, you are incredibly fortunate.  Even my veterinarian friends and dog trainer friends have had to deal with behavior problems in their own homes. It can happen to anybody. BUT.  You simply cannot take out your frustration on your vet, your dog trainer, your behaviorist, or your pet. Believe it or not, we really do want to help you, but you have to be open to helping yourself.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating.  Rome wasn't built in a day.  You are not going to fix your pet's issue simply by making a phone call or scheduling an appointment.  There will be work to do and YOU, the pet parent, will have to do it.  Sending a dog off to boot camp will not only cost you a pretty penny, but it is very unlikely to solve the issues you sent them to boot camp for. I've worked with numerous clients following an expensive and unsuccessful trip to doggie boot camp. You need to do the work yourself, guided by a reputable dog trainer, or a behaviorist, if the problems are related to anxiety and not simply related to issues in obedience/control. And even if we do decide to utilize anti-anxiety medication for your pet, it's not an instant panacea. Anti-anxiety medications, while helpful in certain cases, are not magic.  It will not be like night and day, with your pet magically fixed just because you started them on a course of Prozac. Especially if they've only been on the drug for a week!  It's a marathon, not a sprint.  All that those medications do is change your pet's brain chemistry, making them more relaxed and able to focus on what you are teaching them in terms of alternate behaviors.  Yes, YOU are the one teaching them the alternate behaviors because you are the human who lives with them 24/7.  I'll show you what to do, but I don't live with you. You've got to be consistent, patient, and persistent in your quest for better, more appropriate behavior, from your pet.

Now, let's talk about your pet.  They didn't read the behavior books.  They didn't look up their symptoms on the internet.  You did those things for them and as such, they will not be changing their behavior without some resistance.  Why, you ask, does your pet resist changing their behavior?  Well, my friends, because those behaviors have worked for them in the past, fulfilling some inherent need they have, whether that's a need for control, a need to distance themselves from other animals, a need to fulfill their prey drive, or a need to establish boundaries on what is theirs and worth defending. It's your job to teach them that these alternate behaviors will fulfill their needs in a more acceptable (to you) way AND that you will reward them for those changes in their behavior.

I know we've talked about this a million times, but if you really want a behavior to change, you have to pay your pet for making those changes, or those steps toward those changes (shaping).  Holding out on the treats until they are 100% on the behavior change isn't going to end well.  And people who tell me that they don't want to use treats because then their pets will rely on treats to comply, clearly don't understand transactional communication.  There is communication going on between you and your pet all the time and you need to mark those transactions that go well using a form of currency your pet enjoys.  It does no good to offer your dog a dry cookie if they don't consider that a proper payment. Now, you don't need to be held hostage by your pet for filet mignon. I'm only saying, understand what they consider rewarding, and use that to your advantage.  Don't bribe them to change their behavior, pay them for actually do it.

Finally, while we are on the topic of currency, one more thought:  While your veterinarian, groomer, dog trainer, and behaviorist all love animals and want to help them (otherwise why would we be doing this?!), we don't work for free.  We all have bills to pay, families to support, and pets to feed too.  Yes, I know it's expensive to pay your animal practitioners and maybe just a little frustrating that you are paying them AND you are the one who also has to implement what they said/did/gave you to do.  But that's the thing. You are paying them for their knowledge and expertise which didn't come cheap.  Your vet knows that medication will help your pet, for example, but it's not their job to give it to your pet successfully every day to treat the problem. That's your job. And if you can't give a pill to your cat or your dog, then by all means, ask for help!  But do expect to pay for that help, that's only fair.

I'm currently having my own frustration as my bathroom is torn up for repairs.  It wasn't built properly before I moved in, and now I'm the one dealing with the consequences of that.  Kind of like rescuing a dog.  My bathroom seemed good, I liked the way it looked, but ultimately it has issues that require a professional to fix.  And I'll be paying my professional for his knowledge and expertise, knowing that, in the end, I'll have a beautiful, functional, usable bathroom that I can be proud of, show off to my friends, and use for years to come.  Hopefully, you'll be just as proud of your pet after we work together that you won't be able to wait to show them off too.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

That's Henley in the background, dreaming, I'm sure, of an office without a toilet in the middle of it, sometime soon.