The Right Time for a New Pet!

I get asked this question all the time: When is the best time to get a new pet or a second pet?  I know I've talked about multi-dog households before, and homes with dogs and cats, but I didn't necessarily talk about the timing per se.  Let's do that now!

While a two to four year age gap between children is often suggested to parents, there is no similar rule of thumb for pets. When it comes to dogs and cats, it's really about your preference, the time you have to devote to the training and care of a second pet, and your budget. I will never recommend that you get two puppies at once, however, because they will honestly bond more tightly with each other than with you (remember that blog on observational learning?).  It's better to raise one puppy up to about a year to 18 months of age before you consider adding a second puppy.  If, however, you are adding a second adult dog to your household, I think it's more important to look at the interests of your existing dog.  Does your dog like to play with other dogs or does he prefer to play with you, or not at all?  Does your dog enjoy walking with other dogs, or do other dogs on walks create anxiety and tension?  Does your existing dog let you pay attention to your friends' dogs without becoming aggressive, jealous, or needy?  Is your existing dog able to share toys, treats, and space?  If your dog is sociable, good on and off leash, able to share, and good with play, then adding a younger dog might work well. If your dog is sociable, good on and off leash, able to share, and a bit less motivated by play, then maybe adding an older dog would be a better option.  And I'm always going to suggest that you hedge your bets by choosing a second dog that is the opposite sex of your first dog.

Now, let's talk about cats.  With cats, I do like to recommend that if you are getting a kitten, you get two.  They will be able to play together and entertain each other, taking some of the pressure off of you. If you want to own both dogs and cats at the same time, you can absolutely start with a puppy and kitten at the same time and raise them together. If you are adding an adult cat to your existing dog home, you'll want to make sure that the cat you are adopting doesn't just have dog experience, but genuinely likes dogs.  At the very least you'll want a cat that tolerates dogs, but better yet, choose a cat that really enjoys them and vice versa. If your dog chases cats, barks at them, and generally can't learn to settle down even with a calm cat, then adding a cat might not be the best idea for your peace of mind, or for the safety of the cat.

Anecdotally, many dog owners report that adding a puppy to their home rejuvenated their senior dog and while that may be the case, puppies are also exhausting!  You will need to focus on ensuring that your older dog has lots of breaks, away from the puppy, to just chill and rest without any puppy interference. If you are crate training your puppy, use that crate for naps and alone time as well, giving your older dog some built in breaks during the day.  Your puppy and your senior dog will both need one-on-one time with you, so build that into your day.  Take your senior dog for a sniff and stroll while your puppy is home napping.  Train your puppy on leash manners or basic behaviors while your senior dog rests outside or in another room.  You'll want to work with them together as well, but that one-on-one time helps ensure that your puppy understands that you are the go-to person for all good things; observational learning with your senior dog will still happen, but at least you have a fighting chance of being in control and having them listen to you.

I always get fur-baby fever in the spring when I see all the cute puppies and kittens on social media.  I'm not going to get another pet right now as Ozzie and Henley both have health issues that keep me busy and keep my wallet stretched thin.  They enjoy each other and they enjoy alone time with me, plus they have Westley coming over every week to keep them on their toes, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

The three stooges!

My Book Signing Event!

As you all already know, my memoir was published by Barnes & Noble in March. I've been so excited to share my journey and my stories with all of you, beyond what I share here on my blog every week.  There are so many stories, however, that there was no way I could have put them all in just one book.  I hope to keep sharing more of them here on my blog in the future!

In the meantime, your RSVP's have been coming in and I wanted to talk about what I'll be doing at Saturday's book signing event with Molly's AdobeDogs dog training in Los Altos.  It will be informal, but I will be sharing some stories that aren't in the book, as well as answering questions, both about the memoir and my journey as an animal behaviorist, but also your questions about your pets, of course!  I've ordered a box of books for the event since several of you indicated that you hadn't gotten a copy as of yet. If you already have your copy, bring it with you, and I'm happy to sign in.  

And don't feel left out if you can't make the event and still want your book signed!  Just email me, k9freud@gmail.com, or message me through Facebook or Instagram with your address, and I'll send you a personalized, signed, book plate. I've sent several out already and I'm happy to do that while my supply of book plates lasts! 

A big thank you to all of you who've made the launch of my memoir such a success.  I've been asked already if I have a second book planned and the answer is yes!  My first children's book is actually in the hands of my favorite illustrator right now and I can't wait to see her bring the story to life.  I am hoping that it will be available by the holidays.  Fingers crossed!  It does feature a collie, of course.  I have to write about what I know, after all.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Henley is almost as excited as I am that the box of books arrived in time for the event on Saturday!

It's the Little Things--Part Two

Back in 2019, I wrote a blog titled "It's the Little Things" about annoying little things that drive pet owners crazy. You know, when your dog jumps on people or your cat claws at your drapes?  Those kinds of things.  They aren't horrendous, really, they just drive you nuts.  Well, this column is different.

On Saturday, I had a rare day off and decided to do some gardening.  My dogs were out there with me, as was my granddog, Westley, who most of you know is going through a second round of chemotherapy for lymphoma. All three dogs were enjoying the sunshine, running around chasing bugs, and having my daughter capture their photos while they scampered about.  Those are the little things I want to talk about today, the little things that spark joy for a dog.

While author Marie Kondo did her best to convince us that tidying up our homes, our closets, and our lives would spark joy for us, she's stepped back a bit on her original message, stating now that what sparks joy for someone isn't one size fits all. While the majority of people might like a clean house, for example, how clean is really about perspective.  Now, back to dogs and their perspective.

What sparks joy for a dog?  Little things like chasing bugs, laying in a warm ray of sunshine, sniffing the grass, finding a bone you forgot you buried, and squeaking a toy repeatedly.  They enjoy meal times, and all the snacks in between.  They enjoy walks; some even enjoy running and swimming.  The bottom line is that dogs find joy in the littlest of things.  You come home and they act like they've not seen you for a week when you've been gone just twenty minutes. Those kinds of little things spark joy for them and I love that.  I think we need to be more like that. So, I tried it for myself.

Instead of mindlessly and efficiently digging those holes for my new plants, I put all of my focus into the actual process of digging, really tossing dirt around, laughing at how much fun it actually was.  It reminded me of being a kid and digging in the sandbox with my best friend. Good times.  And the best thing?  The thing that really sparked joy?  Westley came over, tail wagging, to see how my digging was going.  He's not much of a digger himself, but he could appreciate how much I seemed to be enjoying it.  Him checking on me sparked instant joy!

Our whole family knows that Westley's days are numbered.  Lymphoma is a killer, particularly when it strikes a young dog.  Westley was diagnosed when he was five years old, and though he's now six, we're preparing ourselves for the inevitability that he may not see his seventh birthday, though we hope with all of our hearts that he defies the odds.  In the meantime, we're going to help him spark joy every single day.  Saturday, it was garden time, a game of chase with Henley, and some ridiculously smelly salmon treats I bought for the dogs to share. Sunday, he wasn't feeling as well, so he came to my house where I could watch over him while his mom worked.  I wanted to do something that would bring him joy, so I sat with him on my lap and rubbed his belly and his shoulders.  He gave the biggest, deepest sigh and then burped!  I knew, in that moment, that he had experienced a bit of joy (and relief) for sure.

No one knows what tomorrow will bring, so I think it's important to focus a bit more on the little things that spark joy, even if it's just a clean house, a freshly baked cookie, or watching your dog enjoy a bone.  Focus on giving your dogs those opportunities that bring them joy as well. Don't rush their walks; feed them in puzzle feeders and snuffle mats for enriching fun; let them swim if they enjoy water and run if they are able. Show them love and attention without being distracted by your phone or the TV.  Observe them, they'll show you the way to joy in the little things every day. Sit down next to your dog right now and take a deep breath, nose in the air, eyes closed, and feel the joy roll right off of them and into you.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

My sweet granddog, Westley, in my garden.  

I swear he was laughing at me while I dug holes in the dirt for my zucchini plants!

What Have You Done For Me Lately?

Naturally, when I typed out that blog title, I started to hum along with the song of the same name by Janet Jackson, but clearly that's not the direction this blog is going!  What I want to talk about today are dogs and what they do for us, in spite of their own misgivings, fears, preconceived notions, and idiosyncrasies.  Interesting topic, right?

There is a viral video making the rounds of a dog getting between a moving vacuum cleaner and a baby playing on the floor nearby.  You might not think anything of this, but if you read the caption, it becomes way more interesting. You see, this particular dog hates the vacuum cleaner (most dogs do) and for this dog's whole life, he's raced off and hidden in another room, or outside, the second the owner turned on the dreaded machine. Since having her baby, however, this dog has positioned himself between the vacuum cleaner and that baby.  He's obviously summoned all of his courage as you can see in the video. He's quite literally quivering, ears back, tail tucked, whale-eyed, barking at the vacuum cleaner, wanting to escape, but continually shifting his body so he's between the vacuum and that baby.  He looks back at the baby, clearly making sure the child is okay, and then quickly returns his attention to the vacuum. The owner, thinking this is funny for some reason, tries to maneuver around the dog, and the dog leaps in the air and pounces briefly on the vacuum and she pulls the vacuum back. End of video with the owner laughing.  Wow.  Just WOW.  Can we stop for a minute and appreciate just what this dog did?  He clearly has a history of fear and avoidance with the vacuum cleaner, but when it came to the baby's safety he cowboyed up, so to speak, in spite of his fear, and protected the child. He went after the vacuum cleaner, not the person pushing it. This kind of stuff doesn't make me laugh, but it does make me send up a thank you to dogs everywhere for putting themselves out there to protect people, even when we're setting them up like this.  One more example.

Have you seen the video of the little girl, playing on her driveway with a ball, three big dogs laying around the driveway, clearly staggered in position watching the street while she plays?  As her ball starts to roll away, the dog at the end of the driveway gets up and turns toward her, stopping the ball with his nose.  The dog that was closest to the child also stands up, but walks casually behind her.  That third dog remains in position watching the street.  She gets her ball and goes back to playing and the dogs resume their positions.  At that point a man enters the picture, walking on the sidewalk. As he gets to the driveway and turns toward the girl, all three dogs stand up.  As the ball rolls toward him, the little girl goes for the ball, but now there's a big dog, walking right alongside of her.  Which dog?  That dog who'd been in the middle position that whole time.  There's music over the video, so I can't hear it, but I'm pretty sure the dog nearest the ball is growling at the man who is reaching for the ball. At this point, the child's father walks down the driveway, says something, and the dog near the ball stops and stands still.  All three dogs look to the man as he approaches the stranger.  They shake hands and the little girl collects her ball and all three dogs go back to their original positions. My personal feeling is that these dogs would guard anything on that property, but clearly they've been taught to keep watch over the little girl when she's out there. They aren't overtly friendly with her, but they clearly understand the assignment and she's not afraid of them. While I appreciate the fact that these dogs take their jobs very seriously, I feel like this video makes it seem like this is a good idea, when it's not. This girl cannot control these dogs, but she sure as heck could get hurt if she somehow got between them and a stranger.  Me? I'd rather have a barking dog on the driveway!  They'll alert everyone to a problem!

Those of you who know me, or who have read my memoir, know that our first rough collie was a lovely dog named Cooper. Cooper was the quintessential collie; he loved his family, he protected our home (he barked to alert), and he was a gentle playmate with my young kids and others.  Cooper did not like raised voices and he most certainly did not like it if I was stern with my children.  If I scolded one of them and he was in earshot, he's come over and stand between me and the kid in question.  He wasn't being aggressive with me, no, he was letting me know that he was there to moderate this interaction.  The kids would often put a hand on him to comfort themselves during the scolding which is why I think he was there; emotional support.  However, one time I observed the husband of a friend raise his voice at the kids (his two were playing with my two) when they were playing outside.  Cooper did this same thing, but I noticed something different.  Cooper was between the kids and the man, but now he was staring at the man.  He never growled, he never moved, but it was clear to everyone that the man should stop right there and quit yelling.  I walked over, gave Cooper a love and told him to go play with the kids, which he did.  At that point I checked to see what my friend's husband thought.  He said he thought the dog was going to take his arm off!  Ha!  Cooper had made his point; there was no reason to be yelling at the kids who were just having a good time.  And, more importantly, I think Cooper felt that the man had no business correcting the kids at HIS house.  That was my job, lol. When the kids were older, I would send Cooper down the hill to the school with them to shoot hoops.  They hated taking him because he wouldn't let anyone else get in on their game, body blocking, and barking if need be, almost as if to say, my kids, my basketball court. So embarrassing, mom!  But I knew they were safer with him there.  Again, he wasn't aggressive, but he was a big, protective collie. Not a threat, but taking his job seriously. He was a herding dog after all. My kids were his sheep!

Dogs do a lot for us, some things we ask them to do, other things they do naturally and we are able to capitalize on that.  Many perceive loud noises and strangers as potential threats and respond accordingly, whether those loud noises or strangers are upsetting to them or not. The bottom line is this: Don't test them or tease them.  They will step up if the situation calls for it, no need to turn it into a funny video for likes on social media. Do right by your dogs, raise them to understand what a real threat is, sure, but mostly just raise them to understand love, trust, care, and bite inhibition.  Their inherent desire to do right by us will do the rest.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here's a cute picture of Cooper at about 11 weeks old.  That's Jessica watching Cooper while he watches my 4 year old son who is running around in a Batman costume nearby!

The Power of Observational Learning

I had a really nice conversation with a long time client about her new puppy.  She has three dogs, one is ten, one is almost 5 and the puppy is 3 months old.  She reached out for help and advice as she's having a terrible time getting the puppy to listen to her; all he wants to do is follow her two adult dogs around, ignoring her! This really isn't all that unusual, although I could see why she was irritated! Have you ever experienced this as well?  There's a very good reason for this and it's all about observational learning in dogs.

Dogs have the ability to learn in several different ways.  They learn by watching us, the words we use, the way we move our hands, and how that relates to their ability to get us to do what they want us to do.  So, for example, you might be teaching a puppy to sit when asked.  You move your hand in such a way that his head comes up and his bottom goes down as he follows that hand with the treat in it.  While you are doing this, you are telling your puppy to sit at the same time.  When his little bottom hits the ground, you mark the behavior in some way ("Yes!," "Good boy!," etc.) and give him the treat.  The next time he approaches you, he'll be watching you to see if you move your hand that way again, saying that word, and if he does it, he'll be looking for that treat!  Basically, the puppy learns to sit by observing you while you shaped that behavior.  Now, you could certainly try to just mark the sitting behavior any time you see your puppy do that, but that's a much harder way to get the behavior consistently.  And, watching you sit isn't effective in getting your puppy to sit as well. But, you know what is?  Your puppy watching your other dogs sit when you ask.  And that, my friends, is the power of observational learning.

If you call your adult dogs to you and ask them to sit, I'm sure they'll do it immediately. In the case of my client's dogs, they are excellent listeners; they come when called, and almost always sit before asked.  The puppy follows behind the adult dogs, watching them closely as they happily wag their tails and sit instantly.  He dances around them, oftentimes earning him a grumble or a snap from one of the adult dogs, almost as if they were saying "Sit down, goofball, and she'll give you a treat too!" Then, he plops into a sit, still watching those adult dogs, and lo and behold, they all get treats.  The next time she calls the dogs over, even the puppy sits before being asked.  The power of observational learning!  It's actually much stronger than you teaching your puppy anything.  It's almost as if puppies trust the process more if they see the behaviors in action first from adult dogs they share space with.

So why is this even a problem given that it seems like her adult dogs are doing all the heavy lifting in training this puppy, so to speak?  It's a problem because he doesn't listen to her at all!  My suggestion was simple.  Crate her adult dogs with bones or Kongs in the other room and shut the door, keeping the puppy with her.  Put the puppy on leash and reward a simple follow, dropping treats for him to pick up.  Add in his name so he looks at her, then drop another treat.  Step away from him, say his name, and offer a treat as he approaches.  Then, see if she can get a sit when he's asked, without those adult dogs around to cue off of. She kept me on the phone with her as she did this and, lo and behold, her puppy sat as soon as he approached her!  He had indeed learned the sit, AND he was able to do it without the adult dogs there to use as his guides.

I told my client that she needs to work with her puppy one-on-one several times a day so she's sure he's understanding the importance of listening to her and bonding with her.  But, frankly, her adult dogs can help her with so much of the training this puppy needs once she's got him a bit more bonded to her than he is to them.

I also told her how lucky she was as there is one big pitfall to observational learning in dogs.  What if the adult dog(s) in your home aren't all that perfect?  What if they themselves have some significant behavior problems?  What if your adult dog is aggressive, fearful, or has separation anxiety? You most certainly don't want the adult dogs teaching those behaviors to your new puppy!  So, again, the solution?  Get those issues treated in your adult dogs before you add in a puppy.  Then, be sure to work with your puppy one-on-one, away from your adult dogs, to make sure that puppy listens more to you than to his cohorts.

I've always been fortunate to have really good adult dogs when I brought a puppy into my home.  Desi raised Ozzie and Westley, and Ozzie and Westley raised Henley.  Desi was still around when Henley was a puppy, he was just quite the senior by that point and spent a lot of team sleeping rather than interacting with him.  Henley did love Desi and would lick his face or gently pull his tail, always careful not to run into Desi or step on him when he was racing around like a crazy puppy.  He saved the shenanigans for Ozzie and Westley and then tolerated a lot from Henley as they taught him the ropes.  He still looks to them even now that they are all adults together.  Why?  Because observational learning is still strong, even in adult dogs.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

I love these two pictures, taken a couple of weeks 

apart. In the first photo, Henley is mirroring Desi's 

behavior. In the second photo, he's mirroring

Westley, while Desi hangs back, something he did

more and more as Henley got bigger and more active.

It's A Whole New World!

Did you just start singing that song from Aladdin?  LOL!  It was actually what went through my head when a client's husband expressed a bit of frustration with all the suggestions I was making regarding their new dog. Their veterinarian had sent them my way because it had been about fifteen years since this couple had had a dog and she thought they could benefit from a session with me in order to get this new dog off on the right paw, so to speak.

A lot has changed since this couple had their previous dog.  First of all, that dog was raised in a home with three, active kids!  Their kids are now grown and flown, so that's a big difference; this dog won't live in a home with kids day in and day out, but he will be exposed to babies and young children as their oldest has kids of his own. What else has changed?  This couple is now living in a condominium with a small backyard and an enclosed front porch; their previous dog lived with them in a large house with an enormous backyard. Add in that they used to free-feed their previous dog, rarely walked him, and he slept in their garage at night, and you have all the reasons why their veterinarian thought talking with me might be helpful!

As you all already know, I love science and I love good research.  In particular, I love all the research being done on pets and our relationship with our companion animals.  And, obviously, I like sharing this science-based approach with all of you and with my clients every day.  As I explained patiently to my client's husband, it's not about all the things we were doing wrong before, but about how what we know now enriches their lives and makes them happier! 

So, while I understand that their previous dog was rarely walked because he had a large yard to run around in every day, we now know that dogs don't reliably use their yards for exercise; most dogs patrol their yard, chase off intruders (squirrels!), and lay around, waiting for their humans to come outside too. And while a lot of people used to free-feed their dogs, we now know it's better for their digestion and for weight maintenance to eat two to three times a day. As for sleeping in the garage:  Research shows that dogs should sleep indoors with their people, whether that be in a crate, on a dog bed, or sharing the human's bed.  Keeping dogs, particularly single dogs, separated from the rest of the family is isolating and detrimental to the human-animal bond.

OK, let's circle back to the new clients.  I encouraged them to walk their new dog twice daily, allowing sniffing and exploring, as a way to build rapport.  I suggested keeping to a fairly set schedule for those walks, as well as meal times (twice daily), and play time.  Because this dog is just under a year of age, I also suggested scheduling some naps, in the crate which he loves, to make sure he's well-rested and less of a risk for mouthy behavior and the evening zoomies, two behaviors that were getting him sent to the garage. I gave them handling exercises to do to help build trust, and finally I gave them an entire list of interactive toys and puzzles to challenge this young dog's brain and address his need for mental exercise.  Toy rotation is also a must and having the right kinds of toys for an active chewer is also needed.  Hence my client's husband stating that dog ownership seems a lot harder than he remembers!  And you know what?  He's not wrong.

We now know more about how to raise and train well-adjusted dogs than we did even ten years ago.  And much of what we were taught in the 1960's an 1970's has been put to rest as outdated and often inappropriate and cruel with respect to dogs. Personally, I think that the fact that dogs have continued to love us and thrive despite our ample mistakes is just proof positive that they are the most forgiving of creatures.  While they can survive with very little, they do appreciate being given more and reward us with their faithful companionship until their last breath.  Do we deserve dogs?  Sometimes I do wonder.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Westley loves a good puzzle.  This is one that my two dogs don't actually enjoy as the pieces are small and their noses and paws are larger than Westley's! Puzzles like this one from Trixie Dog, are something that have become more popular for mental stimulation and enrichment, based on the results of solid research into what companion animals need to be happy.

Is My Dog Mad At Me?

I've been asked this question so many times, usually by an owner who has been growled at, snapped at, or even bitten by their dog. Most recently, I was asked this question by a dog owner who felt her dog was snubbing her after she picked him up from a week of boarding. Have you ever thought that your dog was mad at you for some reason?

First of all, let's clear the air.  Your dog isn't mad at you, at least not the way other humans might be mad at you for something you said or did.  Dogs don't hold grudges like people do; what they do is express their fear, anxiety, discomfort, or frustration through changes in their behavior.  Dogs use body language cues to let us know that they are upset with a situation, not that they are mad at us, per se. If a dog makes a negative association between a human and a stress-provoking event, they will alter their behavior in a way that decreases their proximity to that human while they wait for their anxiety to subside.  Let me give you an example.

Let's say that you are clipping your dog's toenails and accidentally cut one too short, causing the nail to bleed, your dog to yelp, and yank his foot away.  When you try to grab the foot to stop the bleeding, he whirls around quickly, bumping your hand away with his nose.  When you finally get a hold of the foot to stop the bleeding, your dog won't make eye contact with you, licking his lips, yawning, and quivering, even giving you a slight lip curl when you squeeze the paw to create pressure to stop the bleeding.  Your attempts to soothe your dog with words and strokes on the head go unheeded and the moment you release his foot, he moves away quickly, tail tucked, giving you some epic side-eye as he retreats to his bed to lick his foot.  Is he mad at you?  No.  He's experiencing physical discomfort and he associates that discomfort with you.  He ultimately moves away from you because he's made a negative association: Being near you and having his feet handled equals pain.

When something like this happens, I know your first response is to try to placate and soothe your dog, however, this is the wrong course of action to take. Instead, give your dog some space and time to soothe themselves.  Again, dogs don't hold grudges.  You can make amends with your dog once he's settled down and regrouped.  If you push it, you run the risk of an escalation with your dog lashing out or doing something completely out of character for them. Your dog will forgive you, it's just going to take some time for them to change that negative association that they've made. Depending on how negative that association is, you may need to use desensitization and counter-conditioning, with brief, innocuous exposures to what created that stress and anxiety in the first place.  And, most likely, copious amounts of high value treats!

Using our same nail trimming mishap example, you might give your dog treats while the nail clippers are nearby, then build up to handling the feet with those clippers nearby.  Over time, you increase the foot handling and bring the clippers closer.  You build up to making noise with the clippers, but not on his nails.  If your dog remains calm and open to taking treats, you ultimately build up to clipping one or two nails, giving him a handful of treats, and stopping there on a positive note. This process is slow going but necessary to change your dog's point of view and negative association between you and those nail clippers.

Now, let's circle back to my client who felt like her dog was snubbing her after a stay at a boarding facility. She described the behaviors she was seeing:  Gaze aversion, tail held low, moving away from her.  He didn't want to play, be near her on the couch, or even go for a walk. If she tried to pet him, he stiffened and turned away.  While he never growled or snapped, she felt like it could happen if she were to try to pick him up, something she was smart enough not to do. I've known this dog for quite a while and all of this behavior is very much out of character.  I advised the owner to first have her dog looked at by her veterinarian.  We needed to rule out pain as the reason for the change in his behavior. Perhaps he'd pulled a muscle or slipped a disc while running around at the boarding facility.  Sure, a trip to the vet could also lead to her dog snubbing her even more, but it was necessary to make sure there wasn't something physical going on here. Once her vet had ruled out pain, I came up with a plan to get my client back into her dog's good graces, so to speak.  Here's what I told her to do.

First, do a little bit of hand feeding of special treats (in her dog's case, this was rotisserie chicken) before feeding each meal.  Hand feeding brings a dog closer to the person, often with brief eye contact.  I told her to build up to brief petting with these treats after a few days.  She also sat nearby while he ate, but not making eye contact or trying to talk to him.  She was just to be close by, a comforting presence. After about three days, her dog was approaching her, head up and tail wagging for those extra treats.  At this point I advised her to try to play a little ball with him and take him for a brief walk at his favorite park for sniffs and snacks.  By day six, he was back to his usual self, going for walks, playing ball, and cuddling on the couch.  Whew!

So, if your dog is giving you the cold shoulder, avoiding contact, and ignoring you with very obvious selective hearing, sure, he's upset.  He might even engage in destructive behavior which you don't normally see.  Before you get frustrated and try to force an interaction, figure out why this is happening.  Did you leave your dog alone too long?  Did you miss a normal treat or meal time?  Did you behave in a clingy way with them that they don't typically enjoy? Or did you not love on them long enough? Did you bathe them?  Cut nails? Or take them to the vet's office?  Any one of these things could be the reason your dog is showing discomfort and aloof behavior around you.  Once you've figured out why, get creative in your strategies to build back their confidence in you, using all of the things they enjoy, to win them back.  They're not ignoring you to manipulate you.  They are ignoring you and avoiding you because you've somehow broken their trust.  You can definitely win it back if you are patient and observant of those body language cues.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Is he mad at me?  No, Henley isn't mad at me.  He's resigned to the fact that it's bath day.  When I tell him it's time for a bath, he doesn't retreat. He heads to the bathroom, all on his own, and jumps in the tub of his own volition.  I praise him every time he does this, and give him ample yummy treats for doing so.  He gets treats throughout the bath, and especially when I'm blow drying him.  Does he love baths and blow outs?  Absolutely not.  But he does tolerate them, participate in them of his own accord, and he is duly rewarded for his efforts.  He's never snubbed me in any way following a bath.  How did we get to this point? You guessed it.  Desensitization and counter conditioning starting when he was a puppy.  Thank goodness I did because Henley has serious allergies that require weekly, and sometimes biweekly baths. I can't imagine what this would be like if he didn't cooperate in his own skincare routine.