That's literally the message a new client left in my voicemail. When I called her back, I could hear a puppy yapping away in the background of our call. Apparently he does that anytime she doesn't pay attention to him. He also hates the leash, hates the harness, won't go into his crate willingly, cries if she leaves the room for two minutes, and won't let her bathe him (he stepped in his own poop, then laid in it, requiring a bath which ended up in a bath for the owner too!). She indicated that she didn't even try to trim his nails. She half-jokingly told me she'd leave all future baths, nail trims, etc. to a groomer to "deal with him." Clearly, time for an intervention!
Just because they are puppies doesn't mean that they will automatically comply with everything you want them to do. In fact, puppies often need a bit of extra time to find their own way around anything new, particularly anything that they think might be scary. Even when handed a new toy or new bone, a puppy may gladly take the item, then drop it and sniff it, before picking it up again and trying it out. I can safely say that I've never met a puppy who loved a collar, harness, or leash the first time they were introduced. Henley tried to alligator roll his way out of his harness the first time he actually wore it and acted as if the leash attached to it was cramping his style. Collars, harnesses, and leashes are used for safety reasons by us, but feel unnatural to a puppy; they limit their mobility and exploration. You have to introduce them slowly, pairing with good stuff like food and toys they love. Because collars and harnesses need to be fitted properly, requiring that you take them on and off several times, I like to use a lick mat with either baby food or canned puppy food on it. I use a lick mat that suctions to a metal surface and attach it to my fridge or dishwasher at head height and encourage licking it while I work through the process of fitting the collar or harness to a wiggly puppy. When it comes time for the leash, I always use an old, inexpensive one that I don't mind the puppy chewing on since I let them drag it around the house, attached to their collar or harness, while I supervise by tossing treats for them to find. By letting them drag the leash, they learn that leashes aren't as limiting as they first thought. Once they will freely drag a leash around, I pick it up and follow them wherever they go so there's very little tension on that leash. Then, I move on to using treats to lure them to walk near me indoors long before we move outside. Yes, it's tedious but it allows the puppy to be an active participant in their own training.
The same goes for training a puppy to enjoy their crate. Feed them in it, give them bones there, use puzzles in the crate, and sit by the crate yourself, reading a book, working on your computer, etc. Get your puppy used to a crate with an open door and good things inside before you ever close the door. Build up how long they can be in there with the door closed and you nearby before you try leaving the room. Remember that for most puppies, arriving at your house and joining your family is their first time alone and away from their mother and siblings. Going from sleeping with other familiar dogs to sleeping by yourself is a big step and one that takes a moment for a lot of the puppies I meet.
Baths and nail trims: Those are often rough regardless of the age of your dog. But, again, it's about counter-conditioning and desensitization. Start with getting your puppy used to the sound of running water. Have them in the bathroom with you when the water is running and offer them treats. Build up to having them stand in a dry tub and lick a lick mat. Next, have them stand in a tub with water in it. Now, turn on the water while they are standing in water. You can use a cup to pour water on their body, but try a wash cloth for their face, neck, and bottom. Don't scrub! Gently rub and handle them all over. Same goes for drying them off; dry them off gently with a pre-warmed towel, don't roughly buff them like they are a car! While you may be tempted to do ears and nails on bath day, resist the urge! A bath is enough stimulation for one day for a puppy. Save the ears for a different day and the nails for a separate day from that. I've reviewed how to desensitize your puppy to ear cleaning and nail trimming before in my blog post on cooperative care. Here's a link, just in case you need a refresher:
https://juliebondanimalbehaviorist.blogspot.com/2022/02/teaching-cooperative-care-to-puppies.html
I know it's tempting to just leave the grooming (baths, ear cleaning, and nail trimming) to the professionals, but resist the temptation. Even if you intend to use a groomer for most of your dog's care, you will still need to be able to do some of this at home. Dogs step in things, roll in things, get skunked, get eye infections and ear infections, tear nails, and get food (or vomit!) on their faces. You will need to be able to spot clean your dog at a minimum, and be able to give them a full bath when necessary. Even if you never trim all of their nails yourself, you need to be able to handle their feet if they step on or in something. Do the work. Break the task into smaller steps. Have treats. Take frequent breaks. Don't get frustrated. Ask for help when you need it!
I actually had an in-person appointment with the client mentioned above and her ten week old puppy. He and I hit it off right away so I started working with him around his crate since that was still a hurdle for this owner. I had her walk away and leave us to it so I could see if he'd allow her to leave the room if he had me there. Not only was he fine when she left, he never even glanced her way, which cracked me up. I tossed treats in the crate, opened and closed the door, played with him with a flirt pole I'd brought along, and then put him in the crate with a yak chew I'd also brought to this appointment. I shut the door and told him I'd be right back and I walked out of the room. I immediately came back and he didn't even glance my way, he was quite focused on the chew. I came out to talk to the owner and she was flabbergasted that he wasn't barking or whining! We went back to the crate together and he looked up from the chew, and then went right back at it. I opened the crate door and he came out with the chew in his mouth. I traded a treat for the chew as now we had a reward we could use to get him to readily crate on his own. Now, he'll only get those yummy yak chews when he's in his crate, further reinforcing how great they are to him.
Raising a puppy takes an infinite amount of patience. And truly, puppies aren't for everyone. Remember, however, that any new dog you acquire, regardless of the age of the dog, will require some desensitization and counter-conditioning. How much will depend on what they've already been trained to do and how positive those experiences were for them. If your adult dog is terrified of baths, for example, you may have to do those same exercises above to change his point of view. It's worth it to do so. Honest!
As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.





