In Defense of Dogs as Child Substitutes

I was at the tail end of a discussion with a client, a woman my own age, who has an adult son living with his girlfriend. My client was being a bit dismissive about the dog her son and his girlfriend were fostering and hoping to adopt.  Basically, she made a comment about this dog being nothing more than "a child substitute" for her son, an "experiment to see if they can parent together." The part I found most fascinating about this conversation was the fact that this client herself has a little dog she absolutely dotes on.  This dog wears clothing, rides in a stroller, and goes everywhere with her. I wanted to ask her if she could see the irony in her statements about her son and his new dog? You see, from my point of view, her little dog could be viewed as a grandchild substitute!  But really, is any of that wrong anyway? Not at all.

Dogs and humans have been coevolving for over 30,000 years.  Dogs have served many roles during that time, everything from guardian to caretaker to assistant.  And, yes, child substitute.  We care for dogs, just as we care for other family members.  Their health, happiness, and success depends on us.  Most parents of young children would tell you the same applies to their little kids. Whether a person decides to have children or not is a personal decision, just as pet ownership is.  And whether a person gets a dog to serve the purpose or fill the role that a child/grandchild would in that person's life is again a personal choice.  It is not up to us to judge them, make fun of them, or deride them for their choices.

I've known many young couples who adopt a dog together and then go on to have children together too. I've also known couples who just keep adding dogs, never opting for two-legged progeny.  It's none of my business why those couples chose either route.  It's simply my job to help them with those dogs, guiding them to see the most scientifically proven, effective ways to ensure that their dogs lead healthy, happy, productive dog lives.  If your dog is your baby, that's great!  If your dog is your companion, that's great too.  How ever the relationship works for you and your dog is completely legitimate, no judgment from me. 

Now, I know there are people out there rolling their eyes when they see dogs in strollers, wearing sweaters on Fall days, or raincoats when it's raining.  I get that for some people, these dog owner behaviors seem foreign or frivolous.  But here's the thing.  Some dogs get cold on cold days and/or don't like to get wet.  Sure, they are dogs, but they are dogs far removed from those ancestors living in human camps and dealing with the elements as they arose.  You know what?  We are ourselves far removed from that as well.  

So, please don't be quick to judge that dog in a stroller (he has legs, why isn't he walking like a normal dog?!) or that dog in a coat as being an over-indulged, pampered, child substitute.  While it very well may be, it can also simply be a senior dog who can't walk long distances any more and who doesn't thermoregulate as well as he used to. His owner is compassionate and caring and trying to make sure he is comfortable while still making sure he gets out and mentally stimulated in public settings.  And please don't assume that every couple with a dog and no kids is "using" that dog as a starter "kid," waiting to see if they can hack parenthood.  That's just ridiculous.  As any parent will tell you, parenthood is hard whether you had a dog first or not!

Dogs are many things to many people.  I like to think of mine as treasured family members.  Their lives are short and I intend to make sure that they enjoy themselves. 

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here are Desi and Ozzie wearing their raincoats on a rainy day. Now, you could argue that rough collies have coats that are heavy enough to keep them comfortable in the rain, and while that's true, I'm the one that had to dry them off when they got home and I didn't want to dry off any more dog than I had to.  Wearing those raincoats meant I had less to dry off, plain and simple.  And did the dogs care about the coats? Absolutely not.  They wore their raincoats, went for their walks, and everyone was content. Were my dogs child substitutes? No, I don't think so, but if you do, I'm okay with that!