Attention Seeking

I received a phone call this week from a dog owner I hadn't worked with since Spring 2020 when she was raising a puppy during the COVID lock-down and needed a Puppy 101 session to make sure she was on the right track with crate training, house training, naps, etc. At that time, I strongly advised that even though she and her puppy were alone together every day, all day, she should crate him in another room for naps and alone time, and take walks or breaks without him.  I wanted to make sure that this puppy was comfortable being alone and confident enough to entertain himself.  I reminded the owner that lock-down wouldn't last forever, and if she had to be able to return to working in an office, she'd need her puppy to be able to stay home alone without being anxious. Fast forward to our most recent conversation. 

Her puppy is now 5 years old, loves his crate, and isn't anxious when she works in the office two days a week and leaves him home alone.  Sounds good, right?  Well, the problem is what happens when she works the other three days from home.  On those days, her dog bugs her constantly for attention.  He shoves on her with toys, paws at her to pet him, barks at her to get her to play, and rings his bell to go outside, just to get her up out of her chair. She thinks he's the most relentless with his attention seeking when she's in a video meeting or on a client call, though she sheepishly admitted that it may just seem worse then because she's not constantly petting him or playing with him at those times! She says she feels like a horrible pet owner if she tries to ignore him and all it seems to do is escalate the situation, resulting in him barking and her yelling, and then she feels even worse.  She wanted to know if it was too late to fix this problem.  Absolutely not!

Attention seeking behavior is something that all dogs do; some (obviously) do it more than others. You see, dogs can't talk, so if they need something, they have to play a game of charades with you to make their wants and needs known.  They need a drink of water, but their bowl is empty.  They might pick up and drop that empty bowl, bark at you and stare at the empty bowl, or they might drink out of the toilet which is sure to get your attention!  When they are hungry, they stare at you and run to the kitchen, or maybe they bring you their food bowl and stare at the clock.  When they want to go outside they stand near a door, bark or scratch at the door, or grab their own leash and bring it to you.  And, yes, when they want to play, they'll bring you a toy (or 10!) to get you to stop what you are doing and play a game with them.  All of this works great as long as you respond to them, right?  Ignore your dog and they often level up their attention seeking to make their needs known.  I've even met dogs who will pinch or nip their owners if they feel their needs are being ignored!  Is it really such a bad thing that your dog alerts you to his needs?  No, not unless they are attention seeking just for the sake of attention seeking, when no real impending need must be met.  Just because your dog is bored does not mean you need to stop what you are doing and engage them. On the contrary, if you do, you'll end up, like the client above, with a dog who cannot entertain themselves.

All behavior has consequences.  A dog who attention seeks unnecessarily needs to learn that doing so results in less attention, not more.  I advised my client to keep a leash near her desk so that she could unceremoniously leash up her dog and walk him to his crate for a time out when he bugs her, but she knows that all of his basic needs have been met.  After a few minutes, if he's quiet, she can go let him out of the crate and redirect him to an activity that will keep him occupied such as a bone, yak chew, puzzle, lick mat, or Kong. I also suggested that she be more scheduled with his walks and play time.  Instead of playing with him at random times during the day, keeping those play sessions to a schedule, much as she does with his meals, means he will learn to anticipate when it's going to be time to play, and differentiate those times from when she is working and won't be able to play with him. She can also start preemptively giving him something to do that addresses boredom and helps him to entertain himself while she's on calls or in meetings.  If he leaves his puzzle, for example, and comes to push on her with a toy, she will need to excuse herself briefly and take him to his crate, however, so he doesn't escalate to barking which is much more disruptive. He's a smart dog; I don't think it will take very many time outs for him to learn to occupy himself until it's a scheduled play time or walk time.

Ozzie has always been good about recognizing that I'm working and not bugging me at all during those times.  He might lay near me, or bring a bone over to chew on, but he's not disruptive. Henley is a different story. Henley has had to learn not to be disruptive as he will squeak toys, shove my arms, bark at Ozzie, and otherwise disrupt the flow of my workday if I didn't train him early on not to do so.  A handful of time outs was all it took for him to understand that he can be in my office when I'm working, but he has to be quiet and engage in self directed activities until I take a break.  He'll test me every now and then by squeaking a toy while I'm working only to find that doing so buys him an immediate time out in his crate in another room. Ozzie will often look at him when this happens and give an irritated growl, almost as if to say, "Dude! I told you to be quiet!"  Henley will be two years old next month, so he's still learning, and that's okay. I just have to be consistent and he'll get it, just like every other dog I've lived with has gotten it.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here's Henley letting me know that it's time for his dental bone.  The dental bones sit on my desk and if I go more than 10 minutes past the time the dogs usually get them, he's the first to tell me I've broken the scheduling rules!