First and foremost, keep in mind what I've said previously about the happiest dogs being those who live alone with their owners. Despite dogs being "pack animals," they don't need other dogs to be happy. In fact, most are happiest just living with their favored person. No competition! Beyond that basic concept, though, there are nuances to the relationships among dogs and their people.
Here at my house, Ozzie and Westley had an established relationship pre-Henley. In fact, Ozzie and Westley have always been close from the time we adopted Westley into our family. Desi wasn't one to play with Ozzie, even when Ozzie was a puppy and Desi was a young adult dog. When Westley joined us, he was a 9 month old adolescent and Ozzie adored him. They would run, wrestle, play tug-of-war, and sleep near each other. It was so fun to watch Ozzie find a new best friend. And you know what? Desi didn't care one bit. It took the pressure off of him; he really didn't want to play beyond an occasional spin with a tug toy, and then he was back to his nap.
When we went to pick up Henley last Spring, we took Ozzie and Westley with us. They were a bit overwhelmed by Henley as a puppy, but then again, so were we! He was a whirling dervish of puppy energy. Ozzie didn't really like that at all. But Westley? Westley stepped in and started teaching Henley boundaries and played with him as a reward for respecting those boundaries. So, Westley and Henley became friends. Then the summer ended and Westley went back to school with my daughter, and Henley had to figure out how to develop a relationship with Ozzie if he was going to have any chance of playing with another dog in our home. Desi was a senior by that point with no interest whatsoever in Henley. Henley was respectful with Desi, licking his face and trying to cuddle with him, but there wasn't going to be any play as part of their interactions.
So, over time, Henley started working on Ozzie. He'd run past him with a toy which often stimulated Ozzie to chase. He'd drop toys in front of Ozzie to see if he could spark interest. His record was four toys dropped one after the other, until finally Ozzie liked one of the offerings. Henley would let Ozzie chase him, something Ozzie loves to do. A tentative friendship was born. Ozzie and Henley play together a couple of times a day now, usually a game of chase and a game of tug-of-war. And then Westley came back home for the summer and things changed once again.
Now, there is an interesting dynamic going on. Henley currently has two established relationships, based in play, that he can engage in. The problem? Ozzie and Westley still have their friendship which is now based mostly in resting near one another and eating side by side. It's the way of a senior dog (Ozzie) and a dog on chemotherapy (Westley). So, what does Henley do to get someone to play with him? He's smart. He goes for one of the humans. The instant he does, the older dogs jump up and let him know the humans are theirs first, at which point Henley runs to get a toy, and Ozzie chases him, or he shoves that toy at Westley and Westley feels obligated to play for a few minutes. Henley gets what he wants and the older dogs, I'm certain, feel like they were in control of the course of events. What I find the most interesting is that Henley does solicit play from us humans, but it's always at a time of day when he knows Ozzie and Westley are uninterested in his shenanigans. He's learned that if he shoves on Westley with a toy or tries to get Ozzie to chase first thing in the morning, there will be consequences he does not enjoy. Ozzie will indeed snap at him and Westley will growl. If he persists, Ozzie will remove himself and Westley will step it up and pin Henley, despite Henley outweighing him by 20 lbs! And Henley respects the older dogs, and has now learned to temper his morning antics and find a human to play with instead.
Which brings me to my final point and observation. You might ask why don't we step in when Ozzie is growling or when Westley has snapped and pinned Henley and the answer can be summed up like this: Not my monkey, not my circus. Stepping in would tell the older dogs that something they'd done was wrong (when it wasn't) and potentially make Henley feel like he could challenge the older dogs willy-nilly when he really shouldn't. My dogs aren't fighting, no blood is being drawn, and no dog is afraid of any other dog. In fact, letting them sort out their own issues, saves anyone having hurt feelings. Research shows that when it comes to inter-dog dynamics, you don't want to step in unless there is a bullying situation occurring, someone is afraid/avoidant, or if issues don't seem to be resolving naturally as outlined above. If any of those situations are occurring, please do step in, and if you are unsure how to do that safely, just let me know.
Because, as always, you know where to find me. I'll be over here watching my collies learn how to be a three dog household again, at least for the summer.
In case you were wondering, I said "cookie."
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