When Is It Time To Say Goodbye?

None of us ever really wants to talk about it, but we all know it's coming.  The time when we'll have to say goodbye to a beloved pet.  Their lives are never long enough and we often begin worrying even before the end is truly near.  Some folks don't begin worrying until their pet's age hits double digits.  For others, it's when they find themselves holding their breath during vet visits with a senior pet, hoping that routine blood work doesn't show anything out of the ordinary. For others the sadness begins when they watch a beloved pet begin to sleep more, have trouble getting up, or no longer hear or respond to knocks on the door or the doorbell. I've had many a client tell me that they pray that their pet will pass in their sleep so that they won't have to make that decision for them.  Having had a dog pass in his sleep, I can tell you firsthand, it doesn't make it any easier at all.  In fact, I think it's a bit harder as you didn't have the chance to tell them goodbye or remind them just how much you loved them.  Nonetheless, those final vet appointments to help your pet cross the rainbow bridge aren't easy either.  They are gut-wrenching in fact, but still a necessary part of pet ownership.

I've sat on the floor of veterinary hospitals with my own pets and with client's pets.  I've participated in at home euthanasias for my own pets and those belonging to long time clients and friends.  For myself, I now prefer at home euthanasias for my pets.  I know being in their own home, on their own bed, or in their favorite spot in the garden, is the right choice for my own dogs.  Nonetheless, I also know that may not be possible if there is an emergency trip to a veterinary hospital and we end up making that hard decision while we are there.  I take solace in the fact that my veterinarian is also my friend, so she will sit with me and be just as devastated about the passing of one of my beloved collies.  And, I have already chosen an in home veterinarian who specializes in end of life care for when that time comes.

And some days, I feel like that time is just getting closer and closer with sweet Ozzie.  He'll be 12 years old in January and has become quite frail.  It's hard most days for him to get around, though he still rallies.  He doesn't hear the knocks, and often doesn't hear me calling him for meals.  He sleeps most of the time.  But then there are days when he trots around, barking at Henley and Zelly, nosing me for treats and attention, and strolling around the yard, giving the squirrels a piece of his mind.  I live for those days!  Those days remind me of who Ozzie has always been, a true character, proud and opinionated.  I'm truly delighted when he wants to do a pet therapy visit with me as I've always given him a choice.  For the last few months, he's been choosing yes.  When he sees me put on my pet therapy shirt and badge, he follows me around, making sure I put the therapy dog leash on him and not Henley.  I do know those therapy visits are good for him, stimulating his brain and body.  He does sleep like a rock, however, the moment we get home, and usually for much of the next day, and that's honestly okay.

He's an old dog.  I get it.  I'm just not ready for him to go quite yet and luckily, he's not ready yet either.  But I know that day will come and I'll have to face the reality of letting him go.  I want him to have dignity; I won't keep him alive just to keep me from having to say goodbye.  If he's uncomfortable, can no longer get around, or isn't enjoying life, then I will make that hard decision and let him go.  Just grateful that day isn't today as I watch him laying in the sunshine in my garden, taking deep breaths, soundly asleep.  I hope he's dreaming about chasing squirrels and running on the beach.  When it's time for his afternoon bone, I'll send Zelly out to get him.  She's great at this task and clearly loves having the job.  I say, "Zelly!  Go tell Uncle Ozzie it's snack time!" and she'll run out and find him, give him a sharp bark, and wait to see if he gets up. If he doesn't, it's cute, she'll nose him and bark again as if to say, "Come on, Uncle Ozzie!  No one gets a snack until you get yours!"  The joys of a having a young dog around; she provides the balance and levity while Henley waits patiently for his old friend to get up and move along.

None of us are getting any younger.  Today is the youngest Ozzie will be from now on.  So, here's our plan: He's on his tPEMF therapy mat right now, and when that session is done, he'll have his afternoon bone, and then I'll let him outside so he can go and nap in his little shady spot at the back of my garden. Henley will go in and out, checking on him, but never disturbing him. Then,  I'll send Zelly out for him at dinner time.  It's a dog's life.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Ozzie, my sweet senior garden gnome.

Some Supervision Required

I started working with a new client last week.  She's always rescued adult dogs and this is her first puppy.  She brought the puppy home and was working on house training by ringing a bell on her backdoor and then letting him outside to relieve himself.  She made one mistake, however, and that was walking away to find her phone.  While she was looking for her phone inside the house, he managed to find a small hole in her fence and make a break for it into her next door neighbor's backyard!  That might not seem like that big of a deal but her neighbor has a dog who is very territorial and doesn't like other dogs at all.  Fortunately for my new client, the neighbor's dog was inside when the puppy entered the yard, but he was barking like crazy from inside his house, alerting his owners to the little interloper.  Needless to say, my client raced over, apologized profusely, and found a board to fix the fence.  She honestly could not believe how quickly this puppy found that fence hole; it was behind a bunch of bushes, in a spot where she hadn't even thought to check because her previous dogs never went back there.  Leave it to a puppy to find a previously undetected escape route!  Luckily, the neighbors with the territorial dog were also my clients and recommended me to this new puppy owner for a bit of help.

When I arrived at this client's house, we headed straight for the backyard.  I found several places where a puppy his size could escape the yard, including under the gate that led right out to the front of her house and the street beyond.  Besides the potential escape routes, she had two oak trees which means acorns on the ground in the Fall; acorns are potentially toxic to dogs when eaten.  She also had a smallish oleander and several hydrangea, both of which are hazards to dogs.  Then there were the palm-sized stones in her succulent garden and the water fountain feature in one corner of the yard.  All I could see in this yard were invisible flashing hazard signs!  After scoping out the yard, we headed inside to talk about yard safety for puppies.

She hadn't even thought about her yard being hazardous, though she had addressed potential hazards indoors by covering electrical cords, putting remotes out of reach, and raising her indoor potted plants up off of the floor. She had baby gates to block off rooms and plenty of toys and chews available to redirect her puppy to should he try to chew on something indoors that he shouldn't.  She was crate training him and had a pen for him when she couldn't watch him inside the house.

There are a lot of potential hazards outdoors, and not just on walks.  Whether it's your front yard, back yard, or a side yard, you need to get down at a puppy's eye level and think about the space from their point of view.  If you have hazardous plants in your yard, you have two options.  You can remove or replant the plants in another area where your dog won't have access to them, or you can fence the area off so your dog can't get into them.  For big hazards like an oak tree dropping acorns, you'll need to be diligent during the fall about picking up those fallen acorns before letting your puppy in the yard, or, again, fencing off the area where the trees are dropping their nuts to the ground.  If you have rocks small enough to be picked up (or worse yet, swallowed) by a puppy, consider changing out this garden feature for something else, or again, fencing off that area.  Puppies will definitely pick up bark, twigs, and leaves, but these items are less of a risk overall.  If you begin teaching your puppy "leave it" and "drop it" early on, you can actually have them pretty consistently trading you their found items for a tasty, more appropriately edible item.  And water features are lovely as long as your puppy can't get into them.  Water features that contain even just a few inches of water are a dog drowning risk.

My client was frustrated because her yard had all of the features I just mentioned, plus the fence holes and the spot at the gate.  She wondered aloud if she was going to have to fence off her entire yard to make a safe zone for her new puppy.  I told her that she was on the right track, but it didn't have to be as horrible as she was thinking.  Rather than fencing off portions of her yard, instead, she could put a large x-pen out there and simply make sure the area inside the x-pen was free of acorns, rocks, etc.  When taking her puppy out to toilet, she could place him in his x-pen and know he was safe.  If she needed to walk away, even for a moment, she'd know exactly where he was and what he'd be doing.  I told her doing the x-pen in the yard method had the added benefit of teaching her puppy where she wanted him to toilet long term.  When he was older, she could remove the pen and he'd go to that area when she sent him outside to relieve himself.  Because she also had a side yard, there was the additional option of building an outdoor kennel or run in that area to serve not only as a safe yard and toilet area, but a place to kennel her puppy outdoors when he was older.  

The real take home message here is this:  Prepare your yard in advance as best you can.  Never leave a puppy unsupervised in a yard, even for a moment, that hasn't been puppy-proofed.  Better yet, never allow your puppy to use your yard without being with you on a leash or long line, or in a pen.  Once your dog is a year to 18 months of age, you can likely expand their yard usage safely.  However, if they are still thinking like an escape artist, that outdoor kennel mentioned above may be your best option to safely confine your dog and allow them to have outside time without 100% supervision.  And it goes without saying that if you bring home a new dog, even one who isn't a puppy, you should still supervise them in your yard until you figure out what type of a yard dog they are.  Do they try to climb the fence or dig under it?  Do they eat plants?  Are they picking up rocks or getting into your water feature?  If the answer is no, they just go out, relieve themselves and then walk around the yard enjoying their outside time, then your yard is probably safe for them and from them.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Here are Henley and Zelly, when she was a puppy, in my back garden.  I have bark everywhere, a few large stones, and a couple of hydrangea.  I also have edible fruit and veggies that I always hope to harvest before the dogs do. Zelly was supervised in my yard until she was over a year of age because she loved tearing up my drip system.  Now she can be trusted to be out there by herself with Henley and Ozzie.  The biggest "risk" now are those strawberries!  I've gotten exactly two this entire summer, the rest have been eaten by the collies.

Two Dogs, Same Issue, Different Solutions

If you've ever worked with me one-on-one, you know I treat every client and their pet as an individual, meaning I don't use a cookie cutter approach to the treatment of animal behavior problems.  Each of your pets is one-of-a-kind and while they may have a common problem like anxiety, fear, or even aggression, the reasons they are having those issues are unique to them.  Thus, your dog might be experiencing separation anxiety just like your friend's dog did, but the treatment plan I devise for your dog will be different than theirs because your dog's history is different.  

A few months ago, I met with two fearful and anxious little dogs.  Both were male poodle mixes, one rescued from out of state and one picked up as a stray here in the Bay Area. Both dogs were adopted by older couples and both dogs were tightly bonded to the female owners, but fearful of the male owners.  For one dog, having the male owner begin preparing and feeding all meals, take for walks and adventures one-on-one, and lots of high value treats for being in proximity to him without barking, created a situation where the dog still preferred the female owner, but was warming up to the male owner.  When they did their final follow up appointment last week, this little dog was actually quite fond of the male owner, seeking him out for playtime and even games of chase.  Both of the dog's owners were so pleased that this little dog was able to learn that his needs could be met by both of the humans and that both humans could be trusted to provide for him.  He is no longer fearful.

Now, on to the other little poodle mix.  For this dog, no amount of treats, walks, mealtimes, etc. was changing the way he felt about the male owner.  He continued to bark anytime the man walked into or out of the room, up and down the stairs, or even spoke out loud.  Not only was the dog still fearful, but the fear seemed to be getting worse, not better.  The more this man cared for this dog, the more edgy the dog became.  Unless the female owner was home, this dog hid until she returned, only eating and relieving himself in her presence.  This was obviously upsetting for both owners, but none more so than the male owner who absolutely loves dogs and has never had a dog not like him!  Obviously, what had worked for the other little poodle mix in the previous paragraph wasn't going to work for this dog.  Time to think outside of the box.  Can you guess what I suggested?

I had this second couple foster another little dog.  I had them do a foster as I wanted to make sure that this second little dog would get along with the first one, and their cat, and most importantly, that this second dog would bond more strongly with the male owner than with mom.  We found the perfect little foster dog who got along with everybody and she really adores the male owner.  She sits on his lap, loves going everywhere with him, and takes treats very joyfully.  They worked with the rescue group to formally adopt this sweet little girl and make her their own.  Once the pressure was off of the first dog, a funny thing happened.  He was less anxious overall; the male owner was devoting his time and attention to the other dog, allowing the first dog to just exist.  Then the first dog started watching the behavior of the new dog and started acting similarly, meaning when the new dog got excited when she saw dad, the first dog started trotting toward him too, not as joyfully, but in a sort of curious way.  The male owner continued to ignore him and focus on the new dog.  One of the primary ways dogs learn is through observational learning of each other.  This is why it is important to make sure your dogs are learning good things from each other, and not behaviors you'd just as soon they'd extinguish.  It now appears that the addition of this second dog is serving as sort of a therapy dog for the first one; her presence is calming and her enthusiasm for the male owner is helping to make living together a lot more feasible.  Now, the male owner can enter and exit the room, go up and down stairs, etc. and the original dog doesn't bark at him.  He walks the two dogs together and even feeds them together.  The big difference is that he now has a dog of his own who thinks the sun rises and sets on him; this means that first dog can just attach himself to mom as there is another dog picking up the slack, so to speak.  Harmony accomplished, no drugs needed, no re-homing, and no hurt feelings.

Fear is always a complicated problem to treat.  There are many reasons a dog may be fearful, everything from being genetically predisposed, to being under-socialized or poorly socialized, or simply having an introverted personality.  Because fear is functional, serving to protect the animal from situations or people that increase their anxiety, it is hard to get rid of quickly.  Each of these dogs took a few months to overcome their fear, but both are thriving now.  Mission accomplished, files closed.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Fearful poodles aren't uncommon. Finding the right solution to relieve the fear often 

takes some creativity and patience, but it's worth it.

How Your Dog Really Feels

I had a video consultation last week with a client to discuss her dog.  We'd talked about him many times before, but this time was different; this time she was calling because he'd bitten her.  Being bitten by your own dog feels like such a breach of trust, leaving you to try to figure out the why of it all.  For this particular client, the bite was even more of a surprise because she's very good at reading his body language and signals, both the things he says and the things left unsaid.  As someone who didn't grow up with dogs, she feels like she's always learning with this guy, her first dog as an adult. Nonetheless, she's heartbroken as she's not sure where she went wrong and where to go from here.

I know we've talked about consent before, but I'd really like to address it again from the standpoint of helping anyone out there avoid getting bitten by a dog.  While it's certainly possible for a dog to bite someone "out of the blue," it really is unlikely.  Generally speaking, dogs bite for a reason.  While biting someone is a choice not every dog is willing to make, the fact that some dogs do make that choice is important and why we all need to think about what consent means for each dog, the dogs who bite and the ones who'd never make that choice, both deserve to be heard.

First off, if you always make it a habit of only engaging a dog that engages you first, you automatically reduce your risk.  Waiting for a dog to approach you means they've chosen to initiate contact.  Now, whether that contact will go much beyond a perfunctory sniff is up to the dog.  Let the dog approach you.  Let them sniff, if they remain near you, bow, nudge you, or bring you a toy, they want to interact.  If they approach, sniff, and then walk away, don't pursue them and don't try to reengage.  They've already told you they aren't interested.  

Now, if the dog has engaged you, remember that not all human touch feels good to them.  Dogs have preferences and while some of those preferences seem universal, some are very specific to the individual dog you are interacting with.  Thus, most dogs enjoy chest rubs and scratches and dislike head pats and tail touches.  A lot of dogs hate having their feet touched, but are fine with a leg rub.  If you observe dogs being engaged by strangers, you'll see some commonalities:  Most dogs are okay with chest rubs, shoulder strokes, and a light touch to the side of their neck.  Extended touch, rubbing fur the wrong way, fast motions, etc. are often met with lip licks, gaze aversion, and the dog moving or leaning away.  And if that person tries to bend down to kiss the dog, squat to hug them, etc., you'll often see a flurry of activity by the dog to get away from that contact.  Sure, there are dogs who put up with the unsolicited hovering and looming of people, but for many this is very anxiety-provoking. While that same dog may be fine with their owner hovering and looming, or offering that hug, those kinds of invasive behaviors are less likely to be tolerated when they come from strangers.

How do you know if a dog is enjoying the attention you are giving them?  That's easy.  Did they solicit more?  Did they stay in proximity to you?  Did they lean into you or nudge you for more?  Does their body appear loose with a soft gaze and maybe a lazy tail wag?  These are all signs a dog is enjoying the attention they are receiving from you.  A stiff body, turned away, with lip licks, yawning, frozen in place or moving away with ears lowered or back means you need to stop engaging the dog and allow them to decompress. When you are assessing your own dog, you'll often be given more leeway by the dog because they know you and trust you.  Just because your dog lets you "do anything you want to him" doesn't mean he'll be equally as tolerant of other people doing those same things.

Whether it's your own dog or someone else's, here are some generally good rules of thumb:  Let them come to you; let them sniff you; let them choose to stay; if they solicit attention, give it to them; pet them for a couple of seconds and then stop; wait to see if they solicit more or move away. Doing it this way will keep you from getting bitten by that dog. My client knew all of this, so what happened with her dog?

This dog also suffers from resource guarding aggression.  Regardless of how calm or relaxed he seems, if he's sitting or lying down in a spot, he may claim ownership of that area and snarl, growl, or snap if you try to displace him from his spot.  He's gotten much better about moving out of the way, when asked.  Once he's moving, he's no longer resource guarding.  This time, however, there was one difference.  He started to move and as he did, she reached out to pet his head.  That's when the bite happened.  Did you figure out why?  He hadn't solicited her attention and never solicits head petting.  Her absentmindedly doing so resulted in him lashing out. Now, I agree, this was overkill. He could have simply growled, snapped, or even whirled toward her and this would have resulted in the end of the interaction.  Why did he choose to bite her?  Only he knows why, but now the risk of him biting again is much greater than it was before.  Now, she needs to be much more thoughtful about how she approaches her own dog and how she allows others to approach him. The risk is simply too high for her not to do so.

It's important to remember that any dog can bite; actually, anything that has teeth can bite. Whether a dog bites you or not has more to do with your behavior than you think.  Be smart.  Be thoughtful and intentional in your interactions and listen to what their body language and behavior are telling you.  When in doubt, err on the side of caution and don't engage the dog at all.  If they really want your attention, believe me, they'll solicit it and there will be no doubt in your mind what they are looking for.

As always, if you have questions about your pet's behavior, you know where to find me.

Zelly is very clearly soliciting attention here.  She approached my daughter, parked herself at my daughter's feet, facing her.  Zelly's gaze is soft and her body relaxed.  When my daughter lowered her hand, Zelly placed her face in that outstretched hand. I think you can tell from her expression how Zelly truly feels about this interaction!